kptain  Kidd,  Jr. 


:DA  JOHNSON  YOUNG 


FRENDft  STANDARD 


ilifornia 

lonal 

ility 


SAMUEL  FRENCH,  25  West  45th  SU  New  York 


OP  THE  KITCHEN 

,\  (farming  comedy  in  3  aets.    Adapted  by  A.  1: 

of  the  same  name  by  Alice  Duer  Miller. 
6  males,  5  females.  3  interior  scenes.  Costumes,  modern. 
Plays  2^/2  hours. 

The  story  of  "Come  Out  of  the  Kitchen"   is  written  nround  a 
Virginia  family  of  the  old  aristocracy,   by  the  name   of  Dainger- 
field,  who,  finding  themselves  temporarily  embarrassed,   decide  to 
rent  their  magnificent  home  to  a  rich  Yanken.      One  of  the  con- 
ditions  of  the   lease   by   the  well-to-do   New   Englander   stipulates 
:j,etej;t   stuff  of  white   servants   should   be   engaged  for 
journ  at  tio   stately  home.      This  servant   question  pr< 

Hies,    and   one   of   the    daughtera 

of  the  family  conceives  the  mad-cap  idea  that  she,  her  sister  and 
their  two  brothers  shall  act  as  the  domestic  staff  for  the  v 
Yankee.     Olivia  Daingerfield,  who  is  the  ringleader  in  the  : 
: -.',  adopts  the  cognomen  of  Jane  Allen,  and  elects  to  p 
tiie    kitchen.      Her    sister,    Elizabeth,    i 

Uler  brother,   Paul,   is  the   butler,   and 
a  group,  is  appointed  to  the  position  of 

oy.      When    Barton    Crane    arrives    from    the    North,    accom- 
hor    daughter,    and    Crane's    attorney, 

Tuckc  >£  servants  to  possess  so  many  methods 

cf  behavior  out  of  the  ordinary  that  amusing  complications  begin 
to  arl  Olivia's   charm  and  beauty   impress   Crane 

I   the  merry  story  continues   through  a 
i'ghtf::!  incidents  until  the  real  identity  of  the  heroine 
i'ut   not  until   Crane  has  professed  his  love 
k,    and    the    play    ends    with    th> 
;  for  those  two  young  people,      "f'orne  Oat 
Ruth  Chatterton  in  the  leading 
iccess  on  its  production  by  Henry  Miller  at 
;e,   New  York.      It  was  also  a   great   success  at  the  Strnnd 
:  re,    London.      A    most    ingenious    and    entertaining    comedy, 
and  we  strongly  recommend  it  for  amateur  production.      (Royalty, 
twenty-five  dollars.)  Price,  75  Cents. 

GOING   SOME 

Play  in  4  acts.     By   Paul  Armstrong   and  Res  Beach. 

12  males,   4  females.     2   exteriors,    1   interior.     Costumes, 
modern  and  cowboy.    Plays  a  full  evening. 

Described  by  the  authors  as  the   "chronicle  of  a  certain  lot  of 

"allege    men   and   girls,    with   a    tragic    strain    of   phonograph   and 

cowboys."      A   rollicking   good    story,    full   of   action,   atmosphere, 

;1.y  and  drama,   redolent  of  the  adventurous  spirit   of  youth. 

(Royalty,  twenty-fiv-3  dollars.)  Price,  75  Cents 

SAirrTEX,  FEBKCH,  2S  West  45th  Street,  New  York  City 


Captain  Kidd,  Jr. 


A  FARCICAL  ADVENTURE  IN  THREE  ACTS 


BY 
RIDA  JOHNSON  YOUNG 


COPYRIGHT,  1916,  BY   Rn>A  J.  YOUNG 
COPYRIGHT,  1920,  EV  SAMUEL  FRENCH 


All  Rights   Reserved 

CAUTION:  Professionals  and  amateurs  are  hereby  warned  that 
"CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.,"  being  fully  protected  under  the  copy- 
right laws  of  the  United  States  of  America,  the  British  Empire, 
and  all  the  other  countries  of  the  Copyright  Union,  is  subject 
to  a  royalty  and  anyone  presenting  the  play  without  the  con- 
sent of  the  owners  or  their  authorized  agents  will  be  liable  to 
the  penalties  by  law  provided.  Applications  for  the  acting  rights 
unuM  be  made  to  Samuel  French.  25  West  45th  Street.  New 
York,  N-  Y. 


NEW  YO»K  LONDON 

•SAMUEL  FRENCH  |  SAMUEL  FRENCH.  LTD 

PUBLISHES  j  26  SOUTHAMPTON  STREET 

3fl  WEST  45TH  STBDT  j  STRAND,  W.CS 


'CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR." 
All  Rights  Reserved 


Especial  notice  should  be  taken  that  the  possession  of  this 
book  without  a  valid  contract  for  production  first  having 
been  obtained  from  the  publisher  confers  no  right  or  license 
to  professionals  or  amateurs  to  produce  the  play  publicly  or 
in  private  for  gain  or  charity. 

In  its  present  form  this  play  is  dedicated  to  the  reacting 
public  only,  and  no  performance,  representation,  production, 
recitation,  public  reading  or  radio  broadcasting  may  be  given 
except  by  special  arrangement  with  Samuel  French,  25  West 
45th  Street,  New  York. 

This  play  may  be  presented  by  amateurs  upon  payment  of 
a  royalty  of  Twenty-five  Dollars  for  each  performance,  pay- 
able to  Samuel  French,  25  West  45th  Street,  New  York,  one 
week  before  the  date  when  the  play  is  given. 

Whenever  the  play  is  produced  the  following  notice  must 
appear  on  all  programs,  printing  and  advertising  for  the 
play:  "Produced  by  special  arrangement  with  Samuel  French 
of  New  York." 

Attention  is  called  to  the  penalty  provided  by  law  for  any 

infringement  of  the  author's  rights,  as  follows: 

"SECTION  4966: — Any  person  publicly  performing  or  repre- 
senting any  dramatic  or  musical  composition  for  which  copy- 
right has  been  obtained,  without  the  consent  of  the  proprietor 
of  said  dramatic  or  musical  composition,  or  his  heirs  and 
assigns,  shall  be  liable  for  damages  thereof,  such  damages  in 
all  cases  to  be  assessed  at  such  sum,  not  less  than  one  hun- 
dred dollars  for  the  first  and  fifty  dollars  for  every  subse- 
quent performance,  as  to  the  court  shall  appear  to  be  just 
If  the  unlawful  performance  and  representation  be  wilful  and 
for  profit,  such  person  or  persons  shall  be  guilty  of  a  mis- 
demeanor, and  upon  conviction  shall  be  imprisoned  for  & 
period  not  exceeding  one  year." — U.  S.  Revised  Statute*: 
Tftle  60,  Chap.  3. 


following  Is  a  copy  of  the  playbill  of  the  flrmt 
•«rf onnance  of  "CAPTAIN  KIDD.  Jr."  at  the  Cohan  * 
Hariri*  Theatre.  New  York  City —  November  13.  1910. 

MESSRS.  COHAN  &  HARRIS 
PRESENT 

Captain  Kidd,  Jr. 

A  FARCICAL  ADVENTURE  IN  THREE  ACTS 

BY 
RIDA  JOHNSON  YOUNG 

Staged  under  the  Direction  of  Sam  Forrest 


THE  CAST  OF  CHARACTERS 

(In  the  order  of  their  first  appearanlce) 

Andrew  MacTavish Ernest  Stallard 

An  Expressman Westcott  B.  Clarke 

Mary  MacTavish Edith  Taliaferro 

Jim  Anderson Otto  Kruger 

George  Brent .Lincoln  Plumer 

Marian  Fenton Adele  Rolland 

William  Carleton Charles  Brown 

Lemuel  Bush Edward  Snader 

Luella  Bush Zelda  Sears 

Samuel  Dickens Charles  Dow  Clark 

Greyson Elmer  Grandin 

Green Surveyors      1     Alf  De  Corsey 

Brown \     . , .  .Olney  Morgan 

Solomon  Shears George  Flint 

..«., -4 ». .....Danby  Dillon 


SYNOPSIS 

ACT  L— MACTAVISH  &  COMPANY,  The  Book  Shop 
(Wait  Eight  Minutes) 

ACT  H. — CAPE  COD.    A  few  days  later. 
(Wait  Ten  Minutes) 

ACT  m. — SAME  AS  ACT  I.   A  few  days  later. 

TIME. — The  present 
PLACE. — New  York  and  Cape  Cod 


Captain  Kidd,  Jr. 


SCENE*.  An  old  book  shop  on  4/A  Avenue,  down 
town,  New  York. 

When  the  door  is  opened  one  can  see  the 
stone  steps  leading  tip  to  the  street.  The  door 
x.  of  c. 

DISCOVERED :  At  rise  of  curtain  ANDREW  MAC- 
TAVISH  is  discovered  reading  at  table  L.  R.  of 
it.  The  door  opens  R.  c.  and  an  EXPRESSMAH 
enters,  carrying  a  large  wooden  box.  MAC, 
absorbed  in  his  book,  does  not  look  up. 


EXPRESSMAN.  (Upstairs  c.  at  door  IL  c.)  Hey, 
where'll  I  put  this  ? 

MACTAVISII.  (Looks  up}    Eh? 

EXPRESSMAN.  Where  do  you  want  the  box  ? 

MACTAVISH.  What  is  it,  man? 

EXPRESSMAN.  Ain't  you  MacTavish  and  Com- 
pany? 

MAC-TAVISH.  Aye,  I'm  MacTavish.    The  €«*- 

5 


6  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

pany  is  out. 

EXPRESSMAN.  (Dumps  the  box  on  chest  down 
JL)  Well,  here's  the  box  of  books  you  bought  at 
the  Carleton  auction.  $5.25  collect. 

MACTAVISH.  Dearie,  me,  dearie  me,  the  boy's 
been  at  it  again !  (Crosses  to  cash  drawer  in  desk 
on  counter  u.  c.) 

EXPRESSMAN.  Seventy-five  cents's  fer  haulin' 
it 

MACTAVISH.  Whatever  will  Mary  say  to  this! 
(Finds  the  drawer  locked)  I'm  sorry,  but  my  part- 
ner is  out  and  has  the  keys  to  the  cash  drawer. 
Will  ye  stop  by  later? 

EXPRESSMAN.  I  can't  do  that;  there's  only  one 
delivery  a  day. 

MACTAVISH.  Well,  I'm  thinkin'  you'll  have  to  be 
taicin'  the  box  back,  then. 

EXPRESSMAN.  Take  it  back!  Whereto?  Auc- 
tions don't  take  nothing  back. 

MACTAVISH.  (Comes  down  L.  c.)  Well,  I'm 
sure  I  don't  know  what  to  say. 

MARY.  (Enters  c.)  Hello,  Grand-daddy! 
(Turns  to  EXPRESSMAN  as  MAC  motions  toward 
him)  What  is  it,  Grand-daddy? 

MACTAVISH.  (To  the  EXPRESSMAN)  This  i* 
the  Company. 

EXPRESSMAN.  (To  MAPY)  Oh,  is  that  so? 
Well,  then  you  can  pay  me  five-twenty-five. 

MARY.     Five  dollars  and  twenty-five  cents! 

MACTAVISH.     It's  a  big  box  of  books,.  Mary. 

MARY.     Books?    But  we've  bought  no  books. 

EXPRESSMAN.  You  ain't!  (Opens  order  book) 
Well,  what's  this  then?  (Reads)  "Box  o'  mis'llane- 
ous  books  and  pamphlets  unopened.  Bought  by 
MacTavish  and  Company,  per  J.  A."  $5.25  collect 

MACTAVISH.  I  fear  me  Jim's  been  at  it  again 
Mary.  It's  from  the  Carleton  auction. 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  7 

I!MARY.  (Goes  R.  and  looks  at  books)  Well,  111 
not  accept  it. 

'  EXPRESSMAN.  (Goes  to  c.)  Now  see  here,  Miss, 
you  can't  go  sending  people  to  auctions  and  then 
rtsnig  on  it. 

1  MARY.     But  we  sent  no  one. 
:  EXPRESSMAN.     Well,   then  who's  this   'Ter  J. 
AL?" 

MARY.  He  has  no  authority  to  act  for  us.  He's 
supposed  to  be  a  friend  of  my  grandfather's.  You 
can  take  them  right  back. 

MACTAVISH.  (As  the  EXPRESSMAN  looks  at 
Him)  He's  my  adopted  son,  like. 

MARY.  (Indignantly,  as  she  moves  to  H.  of 
MAC)  Your  adopted  son !  He's  nothing  of  the  sort. 
I'm  surprised  at  you,  Grand-daddy ! 

EXPRESSMAN.  Now  wait  a  minute!  You  folks 
will  have  to  settle  your  family  history  among  your- 
selves; this  is  my  busy  day. 

MARY.     Well,  don't  let  me  detain  you. 

MACTAVISH.  Ye'd  better  pay  him,  Mary;  it's 
best  to  be  rid  of  him. 

MARY.  (As  she  crosses  to  back  of  counter)  It's 
an  outrage,  but  I  suppose  we'll  have  to  do  it. 

MACTAVISH.  (R.  Corner)  It'll  be  the  last  time, 
Mary.  I'll  give  Jim  a  good  talkin'  to. 

MARY.  You  needn't  bother,  I'll  attend  to  that. 
(To  EXPRESSMAN)  How  much  did  you  say  it  was? 

EXPRESSMAN.  (Going  up  to  counter)  Five 
dollars  and  twenty-five  cents.  (Looking  at  his  order 
book) 

MARY.     Here's  your  money. 

EXPRESSMAN.  Not  mine,  lady;  far  be  it  from 
such!  Sign  here,  please.  (Counts  the  money  as 
MARY  signs  order  book)  Five  twenty-five.  (MARY 
hands  him  the  book)  Say,  don't  I  git  no  thin'  fer 
luggin'  that  all  the  way  down  town? 

MARY.     Yes,  you  got  exercise. 


S  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

EXPRESSMAN.  (As  he  goes  up  R.  c.)  Rah,  rak, 
rah!  Votes  fer  women!  ((Exits  c.)  4l. 

MACTAVISH.  (Goes  R.)  Oh,  Mary,  ye  should 
na  be  bandyin'  words  wi'  him. 

MARY.  (Crossing  to  L.  front  of  counter)  I 
know  I  shouldn't,  but  I  coudn't  resist  it.  Aijd  I 
shouldn't  be  short  with  you  either,  old  dear,  about 
Jim.  But  that  useless  box  of  trash  was  just  aboul 
the  last  straw  this  morning.  (Go es  to  L.  c.) 

MACTAVISH.     What's  the  matter,  Mary  ?    (Go*.\ 
to  R.  of  her  both  L.  c.) 
,    MARY,     I've  been  to  see  the  landlord. 

MAC.  It's  true,  then  ?  Larrabee's  going  to  raise 
the  rent? 

,;  MARY.  Yes,  almost  double.  They're  going  to 
level  the  sidewalks  and  he's  going  to  put  tine  new 
fronts  on  all  the  shops. 

MAC  (Crosses  and  sits  R.  of  table)  Dear,  dear, 
whatever  will  we  do  now? 

MARY.     (Over  to  back  of  him)     Now,  Grand- 
daddy,   remember   what   you   make   us   say  when 
filings  go  wrong!    (Recites) 
•        "The  inner  side  of  every  cloud 
Is  bright  and  shining, 
I,  therefore  turn  the  clouds  about 
And  always  wear  them  inside  out 
To  show  the  lining." 

(Laughs  and  goes  c.)  Grand-daddy,  with  the  side- 
walks leveled  and  the  shop  practically  on  the  ground 
floor,  if  you'd  let  me  put  in  some  new  fiction  and 
some  foreign  works  and  advertise  a  little 

MAC.  Now,  Mary,  I'm  glad  to  gi'  ye  a  free 
hand  wi'  the  business,  but  there's  one  thing  I'm 
firm  about— I'll  no'  let  ye  spend  one  penny  of  thjt 
two  thousand  dollars  your  mother  left  ye — except 
for  a  wedding  outfit. 

MARY.     Well,  it'll  stay  in  the  bank  forever  then. 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  9 

because  I'm  going  to  be  an  old  maid.     (Takes  of 
her  hat  and  savagely  digs  the  hatpin  into  it)   .  , 

MAC.  (Rises  and  goes  to  L.  c.,)  A  little  old 
maid,  eh?  What's  come  between  you  and  our  Jim, 
lass  ? 

MARY.  Our  Jim,  indeed  .l  Your  Jim.  He's  noth- 
ing to  me.  Besides,  what  has  he  to  do  with  my 
being  an  old  maid?  ,,,,, 

MAC.  He  has  nothin'  to  do  wi'  it,  but  I'm 
thinkin'  he'll  have  something  to  say  against  it. 
You  know,  before  you  went  away  to  school  yoji 
and  Jim  were  verra  thick. 

MARY.  That  was  only  childish  nonsense,  Grand- 
daddy.  (Moves  over  R.) 

MAC.  The  lad  still  wears  the  little  ring  ye  gal* 
him  on  his  watch-chain. 

MARY.  Well,  Jim  was  all  right  a  few  years  ago, 
but  when  I  came  back  from  college  he'd  grown  so 
He  was  a  man !  He  had  a  moustache. 

MAC.  Well,  lass,  he  could  hardly  help  growin* 
— and  he  took  off  the  moustache  when  he  found 
ye  didna  like  it. 

MARY.  He  expected  me  to  kiss  him  the  first 
day  I  came  back — before  he'd  found  out  if  I  evep 
cared.  Fresh !  So  sure  of  himself  and  of  me! 
He  didn't  seem  to  realize  that  I  was  a  young  ladf 
and  that  I  might  have  something  to  say.  No,  he 
thought  all  he  had  to  do  was  to  whistle  and  J'4 
come  running.  (JiM  is  heard  whistling  off-stage) 

MAC.  There's  Jim's  whistle  now.  Bless  the 
boy! 

MARY.  He's  always  whistling.  Well,  he  can't 
whistle  for  me!  (Tosses  her  head  and  exits  i*fy 
room  L.) 

JIM.  (Comes  running  down  the  steps  and  into 
the  shop  to  c.  Leave  door  open)  Hi.  MacTavis^ 
it's  a  fine  day!  How's  your  soul? 


10  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

MAC.     (Looking  toward  room  L.)     'Ssh! 

JIM.     What's  the  matter? 
•  MAC.     The  company's  no'  pleased  wi'  ye,  lad. 

JIM.  That's  nothing  new.  What  have  I  done 
now?  (As  MAC  points  to  box  of  books,  JIM  goes 
over  R.)  Oh,  the  books!  They've  come.  Let** 
open  the  box  and  see  what  the  prize  package  con- 
tains. (Begins  to  tear  the  paper  from  the  box) 

MAC.  You  shouldna'  have  bought  the  books, 
Jim.  You  know  Mary  objects  to  auctions,  especi- 
ally sight-unseen  packages. 

JIM.  The  trouble  with  Mary  is  she  has  no 
imagination.  There's  no  telling  what  we  may  find 
here.  (Over  to  MAC)  Don't  you  remember  the 
time  we  found  a  I7th  Century  edition  of  Shake- 
speare in  a  bunch  of  old  junk  that  nobody  else 
would  look  at? 

MAC.  Yes,  bat  that  was  only  once.  And  remem- 
ber the  money  we  wasted  on  book  auctions  before 
Mary  came  into  the  business.  (Crosses  to  c.) 

JIM.  (Crossing  to  R.)  Well,  didn't  we  have  our 
fun  out  of  it?  The  gamble  is  what  makes  life  in- 
teresting. Why,  it's  as  thrilling  as  a  grab-bag  at  a 
strawberry  festival.  There's  no  telling  what  we 
may  draw  out  of  here.  (MARY  enters  from  L.)  Old 
documents,  lost  wills,  rare  editions. 

MARY.     It  would  be  a  good  idea  if  you  could 

draw  some  of  Grand-daddy's  lost  money  out  of  it. 

'JiM.     Oh,  hello,   Company!     How's  your  soul 

this  beautiful  day?     Mine's  bubblin'!     (Removes 

his  cup  and  puts  it  in  his  pocket) 

MARY.  (MAC  gets  to  L.  goes  to  c.)  Jim  Ander- 
son, I  want  to  remind  you  for  the  last  time  that 
you  have  no  connection  with  this  business. 

JIM.  (Goes  to  c.  to  MARY)  Well,  I'm  glad  if* 
<he  last  time ;  I'm  tired  of  hearing  it.  (MAC  climb* 
up  on  ladder  L.  and  starts  dusting  books)  t 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  1 1 

MARY.  Simply  because  you  lived  here  with 
Grand-daddy  while  I  was  away  at  school  doesn't 
give  you  the  right  to  buy  and  sell  in  our  name. 

JIM.  Oh,  I  know  that,  but  I  wouldn't  deprive 
you  of  my  intellectual  interest  in  the  business. 

MARY.     Intellectual!    Ha!     (Goes  upstage  c.) 

JIM.  (Crossing  /OR.)  Well,  what  would  Mac- 
Tavish  and  Company  do,  you  poor,  money  grabbing 
souls,  if  I  didn't  inject  a  little  romance  into  your 
lives?  You'd  wither  up  and  blow  away,  you  would 
that,  Mary,  you  canny  Scotch  things. 

MARY.  (Comes  down  c.)  I'm  as  much  an 
American  as  you  are ! 

JIM.  Only  on  your  mother's  side.  The  Scotch 
sticks  out  of  you  like  bare  legs  out  of  a  kilt 

MARY.  If  I'm  canny,  it's  a  blessing.  Where 
was  the  business  when  I  came  back  from  school? 
In  debt,  that's  where  it  was,  and  not  a  thing  ticketed 
•i  catalogued. 

MAC.  Jim's  no*  sayin'  but  what  you've  made  a 
world  of  difference. 

JIM.  Oh,  I  don't  deny  you've  put  us  on  a  better 
financial  footing. 

MARY.     Us!  Ha! 

JIM.     Editorially  speaking. 

MARY.  Besides,  what  more  do  you  want  than 
a  good  financial  basis?  I  tell  you,  money  talks. 
(Comes  down  c.) 

JIM.  Naturally,  there's  a  woman's  head  on  the 
coin.  (Laughs) 

MARY.     Cheap  humor!  -, 

JIM.  Cheap,  eh?  Why  don't  you  blow  yourself 
to  a  little? 

MARY.  Oh!  (MARY  and  JIM  quarrel  ad  Kb 
until  MAC  stops  them)  y 

MAC.     Now,  now,  children.  .  \ 

JIM.  (Crosses  to  MAC.  MARY  going  uf  stage jt) 
Well,  Mac,  hasn't  she  robbed  us? 


m  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

MARY.     Us? 

1  JIM.  I  mean  MacTavish  and  Company  of  some 
«f  their  best  customers  ?  Who  wants  to  poke  around 
4  second-hand  book-store  where  everything  is  in  its 
right  place  ? 

MARY.  We  don't  want  people  poking  around. 
1  JIM.  (Crossing  to  L.  c.)  You  don't,  eh?  It's 
the  poking  and  finding  and  the  dirty  paws  you  get 
that  makes  an  old  bookstore  interesting.  Why,  the 
place  is  as  cold  as  a  public  library  with  all  the  poor 
books  huddled  together  with  others  of  their  kind. 
(Makes  a  grimace  at  MARY,  then  goes  up  to  MAC) 
And  all  price-marked  !  Price-marked !  There's  no 
beating  up  and  beating  down  and  haggling  about  it 
A  fellow  never  feels  he's  made  a  bargain.  You've 
taken  all  the  spirit  of  adventure  out  of  it. 

MARY.  I'll  not  discuss  it  with  you.  (Starts  L.) 
"  JIM.  Oh,  you  won't  discuss  it  with  me?  (Bare 
tfie  way  as  she  starts  L.) 

-  MARY.  Get  out  of  my  way,  Jim  Anderson  I 
(Bus.  then  she  crosses  to  L.  of  table  and  sits  L.  of  it] 

JIM.  Just  as  saucy  and  independent  as  the  Gas 
Company.  (Goes  back  to  book  R.,  laughing) 

MAC.  (To  JIM)  Pat!  Jim!  (As  JIM  looks 
up,  MAC  motions  to  door  c.) 

JIM.  Sure!  (Closes  c.  door,  then  goes  back  to 
box  of  books) 

MAC.     Jim !    Jim ! 

JIM.     (Look  up  to  MAC)    What? 

MAC.  (In  a  loud  whisper')  I  mean  ye'd  better 
be  goin'.  (Then  get  off  ladder  crosses  to  u.  c.) 
•*  JIM.  (Down  to  box  of  books)  No,  I'm  not 
going  to  let  Mary  drive  me  out  before  I  get  to  the 
bottom  of  this.  There  must  be  something  here, 
(Examines  the  books)  Seetrrs,  sb  far,  to  be  a  collec- 
tion of  cook  books.  (MARY  laughs)  Ha,  Hafe 
Well,  it's  not  such  a  bad  bargain  at  that!  Why, 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  §3 

Ifhere  are  cook  books  here  from  the  year  one.  (Over 
it)  MAC  c.)  This  gives  me  an  idea.  What  do  you 
«ay  to  gleaning  from  all  these  old  recipes  and  mafc- 
ihg  a  book?  "Things  That  Mother  Used  to  Make*' 
or  something  like  that.  Why,  it'd  sell  like  hot  cakes. 
There  isn't  a  man  in  the  country  who  wouldn't  buy 
«ne  for  his  wife. 

MAC.     My,  but  that's  a  grand  idea! 

JIM.  On  the  profits  of  a  thing  like  that  you 
could  retire  from  business.  I  could  give  up  my 
hack  writing  and  go  into  the  publishing  business. 
My  next  book  would  be  "Things  Father  Used  to 
Eat."  See  !  Give  the  wives  a  chance  to  get  back 
at  their  husbands. 

MAC.     Lad,  you're  a  genius! 

JIM.  (Comes  down  L.  and  bangs  the  book  on 
table}  I'm  a  genius!  (Crosses  to  R:  laughing) 

MARY.      (Rises)    Jim  Anderson! 

JIM.     Yes,  ma'am? 

MARY.  I'm  trying  to  make  up  my  accounts.  You 
disturb  me. 

JIM.  (Makes  a  low  bow)  Pardon,  Mary,  Queen 
of  Scots,  I'll  not  offend  again. 

MARY.  (Curtsies)  Thank  you.  (JiM  whistles. 
She  imitates  him,  then  stamps  her  foot}  Oh,  for 
goodness'  sake,  stop  whistling  that  in  here  ! 

JIM.     I  can  whistle  if  I  like. 

MARY.  Not  in  here.  (Ad  lib  quarrel  until  MAC 
stops  them) 

MAC.     (  MARY  c.  comes  downstage  c.  )    Children, 
children,  stop  it  !     Stop  your  quarreling  !    Remem- 
ber your  verses.     (Starts  the  verse) 
"The  inner  side  of  every 
Is  bright  and  shining 


I  therefore  turn  my  clouds  abdaf 
And  always  weaf  them1  irtsiSe^otrir 


14  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

To  show  the  lining." 

MARY.     (As  she  goes  L.)    Anyway,  it's  bad 
to  whistle  in  the  house.     (Exits  L.) 

MAC.  (c.)  She's  a  sharp  tongue,  but  a  good 
heart,  has  Mary. 

JIM.  (Crosses  and  sits  on  table  L.  R.  of  it.)  Oh, 
she's  just  a  little  girl,  Mac. 

MAC.  Yes,  and  you're  just  a  big  boy,  Jim,  and 
always  will  be.  Just  as  much  of  a  boy  as  the  day 
you  first  came  to  me. 

JIM.  I  was  a  pretty  hard  customer  to  handle  in 
those  days,  eh,  Mac? 

MAC.  No,  you  were  always  a  fine  honest  lad, 
(Goes  upstage  and  busies  himself  with  books  on 
counter) 

JIM.  I  wonder  what  would  have  become  of  me, 
Mac,  if  you  hadn't  taken  me  in  here  out  of  the  cold 
that  night?  Selling  papers  yet,  I  suppose. 

MAC.  Not  you,  lad,  you'd  have  fought  your  way 
up  somehow. 

JIM.  It  was  pretty  dog-gone  nice  of  you  taking 
me  in — a  street  brat. 

MAC.  Nonsense !  You  were  a  fine  playmate  for 
Mary.  I  wish  ye  got  on  better  wi'  her  now. 
(Comes  down  L.  c.) 

JIM.  Mary  was  different  then,  Mac.  She  was  a 
great  little  pal.  Why,  I  was  in  love  with  her  from 
the  first  day  I  put  on  long  pants. 

MAC     Uhl  huh! 

JIM.     And  she  used  to  like  me,  too. 

MAC.     She  did  that! 

JIM.  Though  she'd  deny  it  now.  (Turns  am* 
hobs  at  door  L.)  That  la-da-da  ladies'  seminary 
put  the  kibosh  on  all  that.  It  ruined  her,  Mac. 

MAC.  She's  a  verra  fine  lass  and  you  know^  it 
I  wish  I  could  have  given  you  her  advantages,  Jim. 
You  should  have  {one  to  college,  too. 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  15 

JIM.  (Rises  and  goes  to  L.  of  MAC)  College! 
I'd  never  have  gotten  there  what  I  got  from  these 
old  books.  Remember  the  nights  we  used  to  sit 
under  the  lamp  in  there  before  the  gas  was  put  in? 
(Indicating  off  L.  I.) 

MAC.  I  do  that !  And  how  hard  I  had  to  study 
to  keep  up  wi'  you.  (Both  laugh) 

JIM.  Ah,  those  were  the  happy  days,  weren't 
they,  Mac?  (Goes  to  box  of  books  R.,  sits  on  the 
chest  and  looks  them  over.  MAC  goes  upstage  L. 
and  pastes  strips  in  books.  He  softly  sings  the  first 
two  lines  of  "COMIN'  THROUGH  THE  RYE", 
JIM  sings  the  next  two  lines.  They  alternate  until 
the  chorus  is  finished.  MARY  enters  from  L.  as  JIM 
hums  the  first  time.  She  stands  looking  at  the  two 
men,  smiles,  takes  some  papers  from  desk  and  quiet- 
ly exits  L.  In  the  middle  of  the  last  line  JIM  breaks 
off)  I  say,  Mac,  I  think  I've  found  something  here 
that  I  can  use;  a  story  of  a  lost  treasure.  Just  in 
time  too.  I've  got  an  order  for  two  columns  of 
adventure  for  the  Syndicate.  By  George,  Mac,  I 
think  I  can  get  just  the  dope  I  want  out  of  this 
book.  (Rises  and  goes  R.  c.  MAC  drops  down  L.  c.) 
I'll  tell  you  what  I'll  do.  I'll  give  you — (Digs  down 
in  his  pockets  for  money)  $5.25  for  this  and  that'll 
keep  Mary  from  yapping  about  my  buying  that  box 
of  cook  books.  (Holds  the  money  out  to  MAC) 

MAC.     You'll  do  nothing  of  the  kind. 

JIM.     I  can  use  it;  it's  worth  it  to  me. 

MAC.  (They  meet  c.)  Take  the  book  and  read 
it,  lad,  and  don't  be  talkin'  nonsense ! 

JIM.  (Forcing  the  money  into  MAC'S  hand)  Aw, 
go  on  and  take  it.  It'll  make  Mary  feel  better  and 
I'll  feel  better  too,  and  if  I  want  the  five-twenty-five 
back  again  I  can  borrow  it  from  you.  (Both  laugh) 

MAC.  Ye  can  that,  lad.  (Crosses  and  puts 
money  in  cash  drawer) 


id  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

JIM.  (Over  to  box  of  books)  Well,  I  guess  I'd 
better  get  back  to  my  "two-by  four".  Gee,  it's 
getting  on  my  nerves  writing  thrillers  of  travel 
and  adventure  and  never  getting  any  further  from 
Ntew>  York  than  Jersey  City.  (Both  laugh)  But 
some  day  I'm  going  to  strike  it  rich — (Crosses  and 
pwts  his  arm  affectionately  about  MAC) — and  then 
I  guess  we'll  see  the  world,  eh,  Mac  ? 

MAC.  (Throws  his  arm  around  Jim's  shoulder) 
Of  course!  You'll  get  there,  lad,  ye  have  a  rare 
talent. 

JIM.  Rare!  That's  the  word — unbaked  as  yet. 
(Goes  up  stage  to  e.  door) 

MAC.  How  about  your  novel,  Jim?  Have  ye 
heard  from  Scribner's? 

JIM.  Oh>  Gee!  Have  I  heard!  (Down  to  R.  of 
MAC)  It's  back  from  Scribner's  a  week  ago  and 
on  its  travels  again.  That  book  has  been  going 
back  and  forth  like  that  for  months.  I  tell  you, 
Mac;  the  United  States  Post-office  is  being  sup- 
ported by  that  book  of  mine.  (Both  laugh) 

MAC.  Don't  lose  your  courage,  Jim,  it's  a  great 
work. 

JIM.  Oh,  they  can't  down  me.  Somebody's  going 
to  take  it  some  day.  It's  being  improved  by  travel. 
(Both  laugh.  JIM  starts  for  door, — MAC  up  to 
counter  then  comes  down  to  L.  door,  opens  it  and 
Mttgs)  Farewell,  Annie  Laurie.  Think  over  that 
•Ook  book  proposition. 

MARY.    (  Off  stage  L.  )    Mind  yoar  own  businese, 
Anderson! 

JIM.  Sure,  it's  a  sharp  tongue,  But  a  go«d 
Hart;  has  Mary.  See  you  later,  Mac.  (Exits  »p 
j$r  ftairs  and  off  R.  taking  book  with  him) 

itf  AC  crosses  to  R.  of  desk,  picks  vp  *  book  «wl  jrf*r 
reading  as  BRENT  enters*     MAC  rises  *»  Ar 

kcars  the  door  open.) 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  17 

BRENT.     (Enters  c.)     Good  afternoon. 

MAC.     Good  afternoon. 

BRENT.    Is  this  MacTavish  and  Company? 

MAC.  Aye,  I'm  MacTavish.  The  Company  is  in 
the  room  beyond. 

BRENT.  You  bought  a  box  of  books  at  the  Carle- 
ton  auction  yesterday. 

MAC.    Eh? 

BRENT.  Didn't  you  buy  a  box  of  books  at  the 
Carleton  auction  yesterday? 

MAC.    Yes,  but 

BRENT.     Where  is  it? 

MAC.  (Points  to  box  R.)  Why,  that's  the  box, 
but 

BRENT.  (Crossing  to  box  R.)  Fine!  That's 
great !  Well,  I  want  to  buy  it  back. 

MAC.    Eh? 

BRENT.  I  want  to  buy  it  back.  How  much  do 
you  want  for  it? 

MAC.  Well,  I'll  have  to  consult  the  Company, 
sir. 

BRENT.  Please  hurry,  I  haven't  any  time  to 
waste. 

MAC.  One  moment,  sir.  (Goes  to  door  L.  and 
calls)  Mary !  Mary ! 

MARY.    ( Off  stage  L.  )     Yes,  Granddaddy  ? 

MAC.  Here's  a  gentleman  wants  to  talk  to  you 
afeput  the  books  from  the  Carleton  auction. 

MARY.    (Enters  L.)    What? 

MAC.  (As  MARY  crosses  to  R.  of  him)  A  gen- 
<Etnan  wants  to  buy  the  books  from  the  Carleton 
sfection.  (Moves  L.  c.) 

MARY.  (  Whispers  to  MAC)  How  much  does  he 
^gsait  to  give? 

MAC.     (In  a  whisper)     I  don't  know. 

MARY.  ( Whispers)  I'll  see  how  much  I  can 
get.  (Motions  to  MAC  to  leave  the  room.  After 
Irf  exits,  u  i.  she  turns  to  BRENT)  Yes,  sir?  What 


i8  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

about  the  books,  sir? 

BRENT.  (Turns  to  MARY,  raising  his  hat)  I'd 
like  to  see  the  Company. 

MARY.    I'm  the  Company. 

BRENT.  You  the  Company!  (Laughs)  Well, 
well,  well! 

MARY.    Is  there  anything  I  can  do  for  you? 
'  BRENT.     (Crossing  to  R.  of  MARY)    Yes,  I  want 
to  buy  the  books.     I'm  willing  to  pay  you  more 
than  you  gave  for  them. 

MARY.  (Hesitates)  Well,  you  see,  sir,  I  haven't 
had  time  to  look  them  over  yet.  (Crosses  to  box 
of  books) 

BRENT.  I'll  give  you  ten  dollars  for  the  lot 
(MARY  looks  up  at  him)  Ten  dollars. 

MARY.  (Picks  up  a  few  of  the  books  as  she 
talks)  It  seems  to  be  a  very  valuable  collection  of 
cook  books.  Of  course  we  bought  them  sight-un- 
seen; but  I'm  not  sure  it  was  a  bad  bargain.  You 
see,  I'm  thinking  of  compiling  a  book  of  old-fash- 
'ioned  recipes  from  them,  such  as  "THINGS  that 
.Father  Used  to  Make"  and  "What  Mother  Used 
to  Eat"  and  all  that  sort  of  thing. 

BRENT.    I'll  give  you  fifteen  dollars  for  it. 

MARY.  (Drops  the  books  and  goes  to  R.  of 
BRENT)  Well,  if  they're  worth  fifteen  to  you,  they 
may  be  worth  more  to  us. 

BRENT.  It  isn't  worth  a  cent  to  you;  it's  just 
trash.  It's  a  matter  of  sentiment  with  me.  You 
see,  Henry  C.  Carleton  was  my  uncle,  and  today 
I  found  a  letter  with  a  request  that  I  should  not 
sell  any  of  his  books,  particularly  those  that  were 
stored  in  the  attic.  Naturally,  I  feel  bound  to 
tespect  his  wishes. 

MARY.  Oh,  I  see!  Well,  of  course  I  wouldn't 
want  to  stand  between  a  man  and  his  duty.  Now 
I  might  sell  the  box  for — twenty  dollars— ( BRENT 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  19 

takes  two  bills  from  a  big  roll) — but,  of  course  that 
would  be  bad  business  on  my  part,  not  having 
looked  them  over. 

BRENT.     Don't,  you're  only  wasting  time. 

MARY.  Now,  thirty  dollars — (BRENT  counts  off 
three  tens) — would  hardly  compensate  me  for  los- 
ing the  chance  of  publishing  the  cook  book. 

BRENT.    Well,  what  will  you  take  for  it? 

MARY.  Fo — fi — six — (Sneezes')  Seventy  dol- 
lars. 

BRENT.  (Hands  her  seventy  dollars')  You're  a 
pretty  fine  little  business  woman,  all  right,  but  I 
want  those  books,  and  I'm  in  a  hurry,  so  I'll  go  you. 

MARY.  Thank  you,  sir.  (Crosses  to  L.  BRENT 
going  to  box  of  books)  Where'll  we  send  the  box? 

BRENT.    I'll  take  it  with  me     I've  got  a  taxi  here. 

MARY.    Fine !  That'll  save  you  seventy-five  cents. 

BRENT.  You're  of  a  saving  disposition,  aren't 
you?  (Piles  the  books  into  the  box)  They're  all 
here,  I  suppose? 

MARY.  Of  course.  They've  never  been  touched 
except  by  pur  clerk  who  began  to  unpack  them.  (As 
BRENT  lifts  the  box)  Do  you  need  any  help? 

BRENT.  No,  thanks.  I  don't  want  anybody  to 
touch  this  box  but  myself.  (Turns  up  toward  c. 
door)  I  suppose  if  I  asked  you  to  open  that  door 
you'd  think  the  job  was  worth  about  a  hundred 
dollars,  wouldn't  you? 

MARY.  No,  indeed,  I'd  do  it  for  much  less. 
(Opens  c.  door) 

BRENT.  You  surprise  me !  (Goes  up  c.)  Good- 
bye! (Exits  c.) 

MARY.  Good-bye !  (Runs  L.  and  calls  excitedly) 
Granddaddy!  Granddaddy!  Come  here,  quick! 
(Runs  up  to  c.  door  and  calls  up  the  stairs)  Call 
again,  sir!  (MAC  enters  and  comes  to  L.  c.  MARY 
dances  over  to  him)  Look,  Granddady,  real  money ! 


20 

Feel  it !    Look,  Granddaddy ! 

MAC.     You  sold  the  books  back? 

MARY.  I  did,  and  made  sixty- four  dollars  and 
seventy-five  cents.  Look,  seventy  dollars.  (Counts 
the  money  into  MAC'S  hands} 

MAC.     Seventy  dollars!    Jim'll  be  pleased. 

MARY.  (Takes  the  money  from  him)  Jim,  in- 
deed! But  you're  not  to  tell  him.  (Crosses  to  L 
and  puts  money  in  drawer;  going  back  of  counter) 
He'd  be  crowing  over  me  and  he'd  do  the  same 
thing  over  again. 

MAC.  Seventy  dollars !  Did  ye  tell  the  man  about 
the  book  Jim  took  away  wi'  him? 

MARY.    Book  ?    What  book  ? 

MAC.  One  he  got  out  of  the  box.  Something 
about  buried  treasure.  He's  taken  it  to  help  out  on 
a  story — (MARY  goes  quickly  up  to  c.  door,  back 
of  counter) — he  has  to  get  out  today  for  the  Press 
Syndicate. 

MARY.  He  had  no  business  to  take  it.  (Runs 
up  the  stairs  and  calls)  Mister!  Mister!  (Comes 
back  into  the  shop)  That  man  has  gotten  clean 
away !  That's  too  bad  of  Jim,  he's  made  me  cheat 
him.  I  told  the  man  that  all  the  books  were  there. 
Now,  a  profit  in  the  way  of  business  is  all  right,  but 
no  one  can  ever  say  that  MacTavish  and  Company 
ever  misrepresented  anything. 

MAC.  (c.)  Not  with  my  little  girl  at  the  head 
of  it.  Aye,  ye  do  drive  a  hard  bargain  .sometimes 
I  canna  get  over  it !  Seventy  dollars  for  that  box 
of  old  books ! 

MARY.  Yes,  and  he  would  have  paid  more,  too. 
I  never  saw  anyone  so  anxious.  Granddaddy,  t 
think  I've  been  a  bit  too  hasty. 

MAC.  Mary,  Mary,  ye  ought  to  be  satisfied  wi' 
what  ye've  made.  Jim's  right,  you're  awful  Scotch, 
lass. 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  »i 

MARY.  I  should  have  examined  every  one  of 
those  books.  There's  no  doubt  but  there  was  some 
rare  edition  among  them  and  that  man  knew  it. 

MAC.     Do  ye  think  so? 

MARY.  It  stands  to  reason  he  wouldn't  have 
paid  seventy  dollars  unless  it  was  worth ja  lot  more. 
(Crosses  to  R.  picks  up  wrapping  paper  or  string) 

MAC.     I  wonder.     (Goes  i*.) 

MARIAN.  (Enters  from  stairs  and  comes  c.) 
Good  afternoon. 

MARY.     (R.)     Good  afternoon. 

MAC.     (L.)     Good  afternoon. 

MARIAN.  (To  MAC)  I  came  to  enattire  about 
a  box  of  books  that  you  bought  at  the  Carleton 
auction. 

MAC.    That's  strange. 

MARY.      (Warningly)     Granddaddy,  please! 

MAC.     Oh,  yes! 

MARY.     You  want  to  buy  the  books  back? 

MARIAN.  Yes.  You  see,  old  Mr.  Carleton  was 
a — a  connection  of  mine,  and  after  his  estate  was 
settled  up  we  found  a  note  from  him  asking  us 
not  to  dispose  of  any  of  his  books,  particularly 
those  that  were  stored  in  the  attic. 

MARY.  Oh,  I  see !  Mr.  Carleton  had  a.  number 
o'f  relatives,  didn't  he? 

MARIAN.  No,  no  one  but  me.  Well,  only  a  grand- 
son. (To  MAC)  Now  I  want  to  buy  that  box 
of  books  back.  It  was  of  no  value,  but 

MAC.     Yes,  but 

MARY.     Granddaddy,  please! 

MAC.     Oh,  yes!     (Turns  L.) 

MARY.  Well,  I'm  sorry,  but  I  just  sold  thatfeox 
of  books  to  his  grandson,  or  nephew,  or  whatever 
he  is. 

MARIAN.     You  sold  the  box-? 

MARY.     Yes. 

MARIAN.    But  I'm  sure  he  couldn't  havt  gotten 


22  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

here  before  me.  I  left  him  at  home.  (After  look- 
ing at  MAC  and  MARY)  Was  he  a  thin,  smooth- 
faced man  with  glasses? 

MARY.  No,  he  was  a  big,  heavy  set  man  with 
a  big  round  face. 

MARIAN.  I  knew  that  man  was  coming  after 
those  books.  Oh,  you've  made  an  awful  mistake! 
I — Oh,  dear — !  (Goes  up  to  c.  door) 

MARY.  One  moment.  Can  you  give  me  the 
gentleman's  name  and  address?  I'd  like  to  send 
him  a  book  which  was  left  out  of  the  box. 

MARIAN.     (Comes  down  c.)     A  book  left  out? 

MAC.  Yes,  something  about  buried  treasure,  it 
was,  or  something — 

MARY.    Granddaddy,  please ! 

MAC.    Oh,  yes ! 

MARIAN.  (To  MARY)  I'll  take  it  to  him,  if  you 
like. 

MARY.  I'm  sorry,  but  I  can't  do  that  because 
1  haven't  the  book  here  just  now.  Our — clerk 
took  it  home  to  read. 

MAC.     But,  Mary 

MARIAN.  (Looks  suspiciously  from  one  to  the 
other)  I  don't  believe  it!  You're  both  deceiving 
me!  You've  got  it  here.  You  want  to  keep  it, 
but  you  shan't,  you  understand !  I'm  going  to  have 
it. 

MARY.  You're  not  going  to  have  it.  It's  the 
property  of  the  man  who  bought  the  books  and 
you'd  better  mind  what  you're  saying. 

MAC.     Mary !    Mary ! 

MARY.    Granddaddy,  I  don't  mean  to  be  rude. 

MARIAN.  I  beg  your  pardon,  but  you  don't 
know  what  this  means  to  me. 

MARY.  When  our  clerk  returns  the  book  I'll 
send  it  to  the  gentleman  if  you'll  give  me  his  name 
and  address. 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  33 

MARIAN.  But  I  don't  know  his  name  and  ad- 
dress. 

MARY.  Why,  you  just  said  you'd  take  the  book 
t<y  him. 

MARIAN.  Oh,  I'm  so  upset  I  don't  know  what 
I'm  saying.  But,  please,  please  don't  do  anything 
about  that  book  until  I  get  back.  You  won't,  will 
you?  I'll  be  right  back.  (Up  to  c.  door)  If  you'll 
just  wait  till  I  return — I'll  be  right  back.  (Exits 

c.) 

MARY.  (Over  L.  to  MAC)  Well,  what  do  you 
think  of  that,  Granddaddy? 

MAC.  I  don't  know,  I'm  sure.  (Sits  R.  of  L. 
table) 

MAC.  Two  people  so  very  anxious  to  buy  that 
old  box  of  books ! 

MARY.    Those  books  must  be  very  very  valuable. 

JIM.  (Rushes  wildly  down  the  stairs  and  comes 
to  c.  with  a  book  in  his  hands.  MAC  rises.  MARY 
goes  up  and  closes  the  door,  then  sits  again  on 
chest  R.)  MacTavish!  MacTavish  and  Company, 
we're  rich !  We're  rich !  Pieces  of  eight !  Pieces 
of  eight !  Spanish  doubloons !  Flagons  and  chests 
and  boxes  of  gold !  Diamonds !  rubies  and  emer- 
alds! 

MARY.  (Comes  down  R.  after  closing  the  door) 
Jim  Anderson,  have  you  gone  out  of  your  mind? 

JIM.  Oh,  go  away,  Mary,  you're  too  cool  and 
calm  for  this  business.  (MARY  sits  on  chest  down 
*.)  MacTavish  and  I  will  have  it  out  together. 
Mac,  our  dream  has  come  true.  We're  rich !  We'll 
see  the  world !  It's  all  here — here  in  this  book. 
(Over  toward  MARY)  Mary,  you  shall  have  a 
hawser  of  pearls  and  a  peck  of  Kohinoors. 

MARY.  Take  off  your  bonnet,  the  bees  are  sting- 
ing you. 

-JiM.     Oh,  I  knew  you'd  throw  cold  water.     I 
was  hoping  you'd  be  out  .!v  i 


24  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

MAC.    But  what  is  it,  lad?    What's  it  all  about? 

JIM.  It's  this  book,MAC.  It's  the  chance  of  a 
lifetime,  and  it  comes  at  the  psychological  moment 
You've  got  to  move  from  this  shop,  so  I  invite  you 
to  take  your  capital  and  finance  an  expedition  to 
find  the  lost  treasure  of  the  Jesuit  monks  of  Ci*i 
quaqua,  Mexico. 

MARY.  (Laughing}  It's  a  fine  invitation,  Grand 
daddy,  and  if  it  fails  you  can  enlist  in  the  army 
down  there. 

JIM.  The  treasure  isn't  down  there,  it's  oa  Cape 
Cod — to  where  it  was  removed  in — (Opens  the 
book  and  reads) — "in  1770  by  Emilio  Gonzales,  an 
adventurer  from  Spain."  It's  all  here,  MacTavisfa. 
millions  in  bullion. 

MARY.  Billion?  In  the  soup,  you  mean,  don't 
you? 

JIM.  Jibe  away,  but  wait.  Here's  a  letter  I 
found  pasted  in  the  back  of  the  book,  and  a  chart 
Listen: — (Reads)  "To  my  heirs:  If  you  have 
regarded  my  request,  you  will  find  in  this  little 
book  the  key  to  a  fortune  which  needs  only  patience 
and  perseverence  to  attain.  This  book  is  an  ac- 
count of  the  various  expeditions  which  have  set 
forth  to  discover  the  buried  treasure  of  the  Tesuit 
monks  who  were  driven  from  Mexico  in  1770 — 
(Mumbles  several  words  rapidly)  "That  don't  make 
any  difference.  (Continues  reading) — "by  the  re- 
bellion of  that  year.  The  manuscript  pages  added 
are  by  my  friend  Emilio  Gonzales,  who  discovered 
and  transported  the  treasure  from  the  banks  of 
the  Rio  Verde  to  the  shores  of  Cape  Cod"—  (To 
MARY)  Yah!  (Continues)  "where  he  buried 
them." 

MARY.  What  did  he  bury  them  for  ?  Why  didn't 
he  keep  them  ? 

JIM.  It's  all  explained  here.  He  couldn't— he 
was  a  patriot.  He  had  to  go  back  and  fight  for 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  25 

Mexico.  He  left  this  book  and  the  chart  with  old 
Carleton.  He  was  killed  in  the  war.  Here's  the 
chart  and  the  directions.  Listen: — (Reads)  "Where 
T.  was  buried.  (Stands  on  one  leg  ds  he  spreads 
the  chart  out)  "Where  two  sailors  were  killed 
defending  T."  Isn't  that  thrilling ! 

MARY.     Thrilling!     But  why  didn't  Mr.  Carle 
ton  go  after  it? 

TIM.  Carleton  couldn't.  He  was  an  invalid  for 
years.  He  had  a  lot  of  money.  He — (MARY 
laughs)  Oh,  well,  he  didn't  go  after  it,  that's  all 
there  is  to  it. 

MARY.  Ha!  a  likely  story!  It's  all  a  mess  of 
fiction. 

JIM.  Mary,  I  tell  you  it  isn't  fiction.  I've  read 
jooks  about  it.  I've  even  written  stories  abotit  it 
myself.  (MARY  laughs')  I  wouldn't  have  your 
lack  of  imagination  for  anything  in  the  world! 

MARY.  The  roof  of  an  air  castle  doesn't  keep 
out  the  rain. 

JIM.     Is  that  so!     (Takes  book  L.  and  examine* 

it) 

MAC.  (Crosses  to  MARY)  But,  Mary,  lass, 
there  may  be  something  to  it,  else  why  were  those 
others  so  anxious  to  get  the  book  back? 

JIM.  What  others?  Who?  (Crosses  to  L.  of 
MAC) 

MAC.    There  was  a  gentleman  and  a  lady 

MARY.  Let  me  look  at  the  book.  (Crosses  and 
tries  to  get  the  book  from  JIM) 

JIM.  (Putting  the  book  behind  him)  I  will  not! 
I  bought  it.  It  belongs  to  me — to  MacTavish  and 
me. 

MARY.  Granddaddy,  please  make  him  give  it  to 
me. 

MAC.  (R.  c.)  Oh,  let  her  look  at  it,  Jim,  she 
has  more  sense  than  the  both  of  us. 


a6  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

JIM,  Speak  for  yourself.  (Gives  the  book  to 
MARY,  who  goes  to  L.  of  desk,  sits  and  examines 
it)  I  tell  you,  Mac,  it's  the  truth !  I  feel  it.  I 
know  it!  It's  the  chance  of  a  life  time!  Oh,  if 
only  I  had  the  money  to  go  after  it!  I'll  get  it, 
too!  I'll  form  a  company.  I'll  let  you  in  on  it, 
Mac.  You  get  half,  understand?  Think,  Mac,  mil- 
lions in  bullion!  Gold  plate!  Jeweled  cups  and 
flagons ! 

MAC.    Does  it  specify  all  that,  lad? 

JIM.  No,  but  I  dont'  have  to  have  things  down  in 
black  and  white.  I've  got  imagination.  You  know 
what  those  old  geezers  were.  Why  Mexico  was 
rotten  with  riches  in  those  days  and  those  old 
ducks 

MAC.    Are  ye  speakin'  of  the  priests,  lad  ? 

JIM.  Yes.  They  were  nuts  on  collecting  jewels 
and  gold  and  all  that  sort  of  thing.  Why,  the  robes 
of  one  of  their  giddy  old  saints  was  sprinkled  with 
rubies  and  junk.  Stiff !  Stand  alone. 

MAC.    What!    Stand  all  alone! 

JIM.  I  know  that  for  a  fact,  and  I  wrote  a 
story  about  it  myself.  You  know  that  treasure  is 
there,  don't  you? 

MAC.    Uh  huh! 

JIM.  They  can't  have  disappeared  off  the  face 
of  the  earth.  They  can't  have  been  destroyed,  can 
they?  Rubies,  gold,  diamonds!  Indestructable ! 
Indestractable !  And  there  they  lie  on  the  sands 
of  Cape  Cod — (Points  R.  MAC  turns  and  looks) — 
almost  a  stone's  throw  from  New  York,  and  you 
won't  stir  hand  or  foot  to  go  after  them.  No,  you'll 
let  Mary  throw  cold  water  on  the  whole  scheme. 

MARY.  Look  here!  If  there  is  anything  in  this, 
when  you  find  the  treasure  it  won't  belong  to  you. 

JIM.    I'd  like  to  know  why  ? 

MARY.     It  would  belong  to  the  Church. 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  27 

JIM.  (Goes  L.  to  desk)  Well,  I  won't  give  it  to 
the  Church.  It's  ridiculous !  It's  been  hundreds  of 
years!  It's  outlawed. 

MARY.  Jim  Anderson,  you  haven't  an  honest 
bone  in  your  body. 

JIM.  Yes,  I  have.  Anyway,  if  we  discovered 
that  the  Church  really  had  a  claim  on  it,  we  could 
still  demand  salvage. 

MAC.    Salvage  ? 

JIM.  Sure,  that's  the  law.  We  would  be  entitled 
to  salvage.  Old  man  Carleton  estimates  there's  the 
value  of  ten  millions  of  dollars  in  treasure  up 
there.  We'd  demand  half. 

MARY.  Half !  They  won't  give  you  a  half—nor 
an  eighth. 

JIM.  I  won't  take  less  than  a  half.  I  won't  take 
an  eighth. 

MAC.     Do  ye  think  they'll  give  a  quarter? 

JIM.  Not  on  your  life!  We'll  hold  out  for  a 
half. 

MAC.    You  shouldna  be  so  graspin'; 

JIM.  Mac,  do  you  realize  what  you're  talking 
about?  A  quarter!  Why,  that's  only  two  and  a 
"half  millions !  Well,  all  right,  suppose  we  do  take 
it?  That  would  be  a  million  apiece  for  you  and 
me  and  five  hundred  thousand  for  Mary. 

MARY.  (Rises)  And  MacTavish  and  Company 
putting  up  all  the  money! 

JIM.  Well,  all  right,  then.  I'll  make  it  seven 
hundred  and  fifty  thousand  for  you  and  you  can 
take  it  out  of  my  share. 

MAC.    No,  no,  Jim;  she  can  take  it  out  of  mine. 

JIM.     Now,  Mac,  there  you  go  again ! 

MAC.  Jim,  I  insist  that  she  take  it  out  of  ray 
•share. 

JIM.    No,  she'll  take  it  out  of  mine. 

MAS.Y.     Nothing  of  the  kind.     We  share  and 


28  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

share  alike. 

JIM.  (Over  to  table  L.)  You  don't  mean  to  say 
you're  on,  Mary!  That  you're  going! 

MARY.     Going  ?    Where  ? 

JIM.    To  Cape  Cod. 

MARY.  My  dear  child,  I  was  only  arguing  what 
we  would  do  if  this  ridiculous  book  had  a  grain 
oi  truth  in  it.  Going?  Of  course  not!  (MARY 
and  JIM  both  L.  quarrel  ad  lib  until  BRENT  enters) 

BRENT.  (Enters  c.  and  conies  down  to  R.  of 
JJM)  Now  look  here,  you,  look  here  !  (  JIM  turns 
ft  /am)  What  do  you  mean  by  trying  to  take  me 
fe!  What  do  you  mean  by  —  it!  I  bought  that 
box  of  books  as  it  was  when  you  got  it  from  the 
suction  and  you'd  no  business  to  take  any  of  them 
out.  What  have  you  done  with  them  ?  What  have 
you  done  with  the  other  books  ? 

JIM.     How  do  you  do! 

BRENT.     How  do  you  do  ! 

JIM.    Are  you  talking  to  me? 

BRENT.  No,  I'm  talking  to  her.  (Indicates 
MARY) 

JIM.  Well,  what  the  devil  do  you  mean  by  ad- 
dressing a  lady  in  such  a  fashion! 

MARY.  You  keep  out  of  this,  Jim,  I'm  equal  to 
it!  (Crosses  to  BRENT,  stamping  her  foot)  How 
fere  you  talk  like  that  !  How  dare  you  ! 

MAC.     Now,  Mary,  don't  lose  your  temper. 

VARY.    (Crossing  R.  to  MAC)    Now  wait  a  - 
Granddaddy,  I 


MARIAN.     (Comes  quickly  down  tht  stair*  *nd 
BRENT)    Ah,  I  was  watching  you  from  acros* 
street.     I  knew  you'd  come  back  when  yo* 
the  book  missing.     I  knew  what  you  wert 
to  when  you  enquired  about  those  books  thii 
but  I'm  not  going  to  let  you  get  away 

&KENT.    You  want  to  get  avaj  witb  if 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  29 

do  you? 

MARIAN.  Never  mind  what  I  want,  you're  not 
going  to  get  that  book. 

BRENT.     I  want  you  to  keep  out  of  this ! 

MARIAN.  I  won't  keep  out  of  it !  That  book  is 
just  as  much  mine  as  it  is  yours.  (Ad  lib.  quarrel 
between  the  two) 

BRENT.  Wait  a  minute,  wait  a  minute!  Look 
here,  we're  getting  up  a  lot  of  excitement  over  a 
mere  trifle. 

MARY.  (R.)  I  presume  all  this  excitement  is 
about  the  book  of  buried  treasure? 

BRENT.    Ah,  you've  read  it  ? 

MARY.    No. 

JIM.     I  have.     I  bought  it. 

BRENT.    Oh,  you  bought  it? 

JIM.    Yes. 

BRENT.     And  you've  read  it? 

JIM.    Yes. 

BRENT.  Between  this  young  lady  and  me,  I 
don't  doubt  but  that  you  think  the  book  is  of  some 
value. 

JIM.    I  know  darn  well  it's  of  some  value. 

BRENT.  Well,  I'll  be  frank  with  you.  You  know 
who  Mr.  Carleton  was? 

JIM.     Yes. 

MAC.  Oh  yes,  Henry  C.  Carleton.  He  was  a 
grand  writer,  was  Mr.  Carleton.  WeVe  a  number 
m  his  books  here. 

BRENT.  Well,  I'll  show  you  how  ridictrfoua  tftt 
jfeole  thing  is.  You  see,  it  was  a  hobby  of  his  coV 
feting  traditions  about  this  supposed  lost  treasure, 
•ad  he  left  a  sort  of  reward,  so  to  speak,  to  the 
flne  who  would  complete  the  work.  He  wanted  a 
Jpmance,  a  sort  of  novel,  written  with  the  material 
%*d  collected. 

If  he  wanted  romance  you  vcre  tfc»  riglt 
to  go  to. 


30  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

BRENT.  Yes,  so  I  thought,  but  it  seems  that  this 
young  lady,  who  was  old  Mr.  Carleton's  secretary-, 
has  set  her  heart  on  doing  the  work.  (To  MARIAN) 
Don't  you  think,  my  dear  young  lady,  that  we'd 
better  go  into  this  thing  together  and  share  the 
reward  ? 

MARIAN.  (Evidently  not  wanting  to  agree  with 
BRENT,  and  yet  not  wanting  to  give  anything  away 
to  the  others}  I — I 

JIM.  That's  not  true!  (Crosses  to  R.  c.)  They 
haven't  any  right  to  it.  It's  just  a  cock  and  bull 
story  invented  between  them.  They're  both  crooked 

MARIAN.     (To  JIM)     Oh,  how  can  you! 

JIM.  (Softening}  Oh,  I  didn't  mean  you 
You're  all  right;  anybody  can  see  that. 

MARY.     Hm!    Well,  I  can't  see  it. 

BRENT.  I'm  not  going  to  waste  any  more  time 
talking.  I  bought  that  book  and  I'm  going  to  have 
it. 

JIM.  (Crossing  to  BRENT  L.)  I  bought  it.  It's 
mine. 

BRENT.  You're  a  couple  of  crooks,  that's  what 
you  are! 

JIM.     What  do  you  mean? 

MARY.  Oh,  we  are,  are  we!  (Crosses  to  L 
desk  and  gets  the  book)  Well,  I  was  going  to  give 
you  this  book  in  spite  of  the  fact  that  Mr.  Ander- 
son bought  it,  but  I  won't  now.  (Hides  the  book 
behind  her) 

BRENT.  Give  me  that  book!  (Grabs  the  book 
from  MARY  and  runs  toward  door  c.  JIM  intercepts 
him.  The  two  struggle  for  the  possession  of  the 
book.  BRENT  fires  it  downstage.  MARY  picks  is  up 
and  tries  to  give  it  to  MAC,  but  MARIAN  gets  it 
and  rushes  off  c.  and  up  the  stairs.  BRENT  rushes 
•nt  after  her.  JIM  jumps  up  from  the  floor,  where 
h$  has  been  thrown  in  the  fight,  and  flies  out  after 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  31 

the  two.  All  are  talking  and  shouting  ad  lib.  A 
moment  later  JIM  comes  flying  back  into  the  shop) 

MAC.    Did  you  get  the  book  ? 

JIM.  No,  of  course  I  didn't  get  it.  They  jumped 
into  a  taxi  and  got  away.  If  I'd  had  that  5.25  I 
could  have  gone  after  them.  What  did  you  want  to 
show  them  the  book  for?  Now  you'll  admit  what 
we've  done!  (Paces  angrily  up  and  down  R.) 

MARY.  (Excitedly  up  and  down  L.)  You  would 
have  given  it  to  that  baby-faced  girl,  anyway.  I 
saw  you  weakening. 

JIM.  I  tell  you  they  haven't  any  right  to  it.  That 
money  doesn't  belong  to  them.  That  money  be- 
longs to  the  Church  .  It's  religious  money  and  it's  a 
damn  shame  to  let  them  get  away  with  it. 

MAC.  (R.  c.)  Never  mind,  lad,  don't  fash  your- 
self about  it.  I'm  thinking  it  was  true  what  they 
said — just  a  book  of  old  traditions  the  old  man 
was  gettin'  up.  I've  seen  the  like  mania  before. 

MARY.     No,  Granddaddy,  I  agree  with  Jim. 

JIM.    Oh,  you  agree  with  me  now,  do  you ! 

MARY.  Yes,  I  do.  They  wouldn't  have  been  so 
anxious  for  that  book  if  it  weren't  valuable.  And 
they  were  trying  to  cheat  each  other  at  first,  that's 
plain 

JIM.  You  shouldn't  have  given  it  up.  The  book 
was  mine.  I  paid  525  for  it,  too,  if  you  want  to 
know. 

MARY.  Well,  I'll  put  a  blue  mark  on  the  ledger 
to  celebrate  the  event  of  your  buying  a  book — and 
I'll  give  you  your  525  back. 

JIM.     Oh,  hang  the  525. 

MARY.     I  dare  say  you  need  it. 

JIM.  (Over  to  R.  of  her)  Look  here,  young 
lady,  if  you  don't  stop  being  so  sassy  to  me  I'll— 
kiss  you. 

MARY.  If  you  kiss  me  I'll  scratch  your  eyes 
out! 


32  CAPTAIN  KII>D,  JR. 

JIM.    You  will,  eh?     (Kisses  her) 

MARY.  I'll  never  speak  to  you  again  as  long  as 
I  live! 

JIM.  You  won't,  eh?-  (Takes  her  in  his  arms 
and  kisses  her  again.  She  turns  from  him,  cry- 
ing) Aw,  can't  you  take  a  joke? 

MARY.  Joke?  Joke!  (Goes  to  MAC  and  buries 
her  head  on  his  shoulder} 

MAC.    There,  there,  child,  he  was  only  f oolin'. 

MARY.  I'll  never  speak  to  him  again  as  long  as 
I'live!  (JiM  laughs)  I  won't!  I  won't!  (Crosses 
and  sits  L.  of  desk) 

JIM.  Not  speak  to  me !  You  couldn't  resist  it ! 
I'll  bet  you  don't  stick  it  out  a  day. 

MARY.     Is  that  so!     Well,  we'll  see! 

JIM.     You're  speaking  to  me  now! 

MARY.  I'm  not!  Granddaddy,  make  him  stop! 
(Both  quarrel  ad  lib  until  CARLETON  enters.  As  JIM 
turns  to  MARY  he  bumfs  into  CARLETON.  He  looks 
at  him  a  moment,  then  goes  over  R.) 

CARLETON.  (Enters  and  comes  down  R.  c.) 
Dear  me,  dear  me !  (Sprays  his  handkerchief  with 
an  atomiser)  What  an  unsanitary  place!  Books 
from  all  sorts  of  out-of-the  way  places!  Whew! 
Full  of  germs  and  dust ! 

MARY.  (Crosses  to  L.  of  CARLETON)  I  don't 
think  you'll  find  much  dust  here,  sir.  I  go  over  the 
books  twice  a  week. 

CARLETON.    You  should  sterilize  them. 

MARY.  Well,  if  youVe  come  to  see  about  selling 
some,  sir,  I'll  be  very  careful  about  those. 

CARLETON.  Oh,  I  haven't  come  to  sell.  (Takes 
a  fiowder  from  wallet  in  his  pocket)  Would  you 
mind  if  I  burned  one  of  these  fumigating  powders? 

MARY.     I  most  certainly  should. 

CARLETON.  (As  MARY  wipes  her  eyes)  Pardon 
me,  but  are  you  in  grief  ?  ' 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  33 

MARY.     (As  JIM  laughs)     No.  I  have  a  cold. 

CARLETON.  It  is  well  known  that  old  books  are 
active  agents  in  spreading  contagion. 

MARY.    Have  you  any  business  with  us?          **•* 

CARLETON.  Well,  yes,  I  have.  My  name  is  Carfe^ 
ton,  William  Carteton.  My  grandfather — this  is 
MacTavish  and  Company,  isn't  it? 

MAC.  (R.  c.)  Aye,  I'm  MacTavish.  (Indicates 
MARY)  This  is  the  Company. 

MARY.     (As  CARLETON  looks  at  her)    Yes. 

CARLETON.  Dear  me!  Well,  they  tell  me  that 
you  bought  a  box  of  books  at  the  auction  of  my 
grandfather's  affects  yesterday.  It  was  a  box  of 
books  that  were  stored  in  the  attic.  Now,  attics 
are  terrible  breeding  places  for  germs  of  all  kinds — 
horrible,  poisonous  creatures.  It  has  been  proven 
by  statistics  that 

MAC.     Yes,  but  how  about  the  books,  sir? 

JIM.    Yes,  what  about  the  books? 

MARY.  Let  me  get  this  straight.  You  found  a 
letter  of  instructions  from  your  grandfather  tell- 
tng  you  not  to  dispose  of  any  of  the  books,  parti- 
cularly those  that  were  stored  in  the  attic,  didn't 
you? 

CARLETON.    Why,  how  could  you  know  that? 

MARY.  Your  cousin,  or  uncle,  or  whatever  he 
was,  was  just  here  with  the  same  story. 

CARLETON.  But  I  have  no  relatives.  I  am  the 
•ole  surviving  member  of  the  Carleton  family !  i 

JIM.    Oh,  I  sect 

CARLETON.  You  see,  my  grandfather  left  me 
enferything  he  possessed  with  the  sole  provision 
that  I  obey  the  instructions  contained  in  a  letter 
which  was  to  be  opened  after  his  death,  and  the 
particular  instructions  were  that  I  was  not  to  sell 
any  of  his  books.  ••••< 

JIM.    What  was  the  idea? 

CARLETON.     Well,  I  think  he  knew  that  I'd  dis- 


#|  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

pose  of  that  box  of  books  in  the  attic.  Why,  i 
would  no  more  have  breathed  the  accumulated  store 
of  dust  in  that  attic  than  I  would  have  jumped  from 
the  Times  Building,  and  I  wouldn't  jump  from  the 
.Times  Building  for — well,  I  wouldn't  jump  from 
the  Times  Building  for  —  well,  I  wouldn't  jump 
from  the  Times  Building. 

MAC.    Yes,  yes,  but  what  about  the  books  ? 

CARLETON.  Well,  among  the  books  there  was 
one,  partly  manuscript,  about  buried  treasure.  I'd 
like  to  get  that  book  back. 

",  JIM.  (Crossing  to  L.  of  MARY)  Mary,  this  is  the 
.genuine  heir,  I  feel  it. 

MARY.  (Turns  L.  to  MAC)  Granddaddy,  will 
you  please  tell  the  gentleman  on  my  right  that  if 
he  has  anything  to  say  he  will  communicate  it 
through  you? 

CARLETON.    I  beg  your  pardon! 
:.    JIM.     (To  CARLETON.)       That's  all  right,  ,she 
itaeans  me.     (Goes  R.) 

MAC.  (Over  to  R.  of  CARLETON)  Yo  you  really 
:believe  there  is  anything  in  this  story  of  buried 
treasure  ? 

GARLETON.     Oh,  there  must  be  something  in  it 
fit's  been  understood  in  the  family  that  my  grand- 
father possessed  some  such  secret. 
;  'JiM.  r Do  you  know  what's  happened?     She  sold 
the  books  just  half  an  hour  ago. 

CARLETON.     (To  MARY)    You  sold  them? 
-  MARY.    Yes. 

-.  '  CARLETON.    Dear  me,  that's  too  bad  \    Well,  well ! 
(Starts  upstage  c.) 

•.'  -JiM.     (Brings  CARLETON    downstage)      You're 

'hot  going  to  give  up  like  that,  are  you?    Say,  you 

ought  to  follow  that  crook  up.  . 

CARLETON.  How  can  I  f olldw  him  up  ?  I  haven't 
any  idea  who  he  is. 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  3$ 

MARY.  Well,  you  know  the  girl,  don't  you?  He 
said  she  was  old  Mr.  Carleton's  secretary. 

...:,'j 

(Ftesh.) 

CARLETON.  What,  Miss  Fenton !  Was  she  small, 
pretty  and  dark  and  very  beautiful? 

MARY.     No! 

JIM.     Yes! 

MARY.    No ! 

JIM.     Yes.     What  about  her? 

CARLETON.  Why,  I  can't  believe  that  Miss  Fen- 
ton  would 

MAC.  Did  the  young  lady  know  about  the  trea- 
sure book  ? 

CARLETON.  Why,  yes.  It  was  she  and  I  who 
found  the  letter  about  it  this  morning  when  we 
were  clearing  out  my  grandfather's  desk.  < 

JIM.    Well,  she  slipped  one  over  on  you.        •  ><• 

CARLETON.  Oh,  yes,  she  was  very  much  at* 
tached  to  me.  In  fact,  we  were  provisionally  en- 
gaged to  be  married. 

MARY.  Mr.  Carleton,  I'm  afraid  those  people 
with  that  man  and  they've  got  the  book. 

CARLETON.  In  a  taxi !  With  a  man !  Dear  me  I 
What  was  he  like  ? 

JIM.    A  great  big  fellow,  heavy  set,  smooth  face. 

(Ready  lights.) 

CARLETON.  Why,  that  sounds  like  a  man  who 
called  at  the  house  this  morning  enquiring  about 
thy  grandfather's  books.  He  had  a  long  talk  with 
4tiss  Fenton  and  she  seemed  much  disturbed.  ;: 

JIM.  They've  cooked  up  a  scheme  together  t» 
get  that  treasure  book  away  from  you. 

CARLETON.  Dear  me,  dear  me!  Well,  well! 
That's  too  bad.  (Stars  up  c.) 


JIM.  (Brings  CARLETON  downstage  c.  ayah) 
Say,  wait  a  minute!  You're  not  to  give  up  like 
that,  are  you  ? 

CARLETON.    What  would  you  do  about  it? 

JIM.    I'd  follow  them  up  and  get  the  book  back 

CARLETON.       But    you    see    I — er —    have   no 
money  to  speak  of.     If  I  don't  hold  on  to  the  book 
and  spend  at  least  a  year  looking  for  the  treasure 
I'm  to  lose  all  the  rest  of  my  grandfather's  for 
tune. 

JIM.     Oh,  so  that's  the  joker! 

MARY.  Wait  a  minute.  I  have  an  idea!  Mr 
Carleton,  your  grandfather  was  a  man  of  brains 
T*  he  said  there  was  buried  treasure  on  Cape  Cod, 
I  believe  him. 

JIM.    So  do  I. 

MARY.     (To  CARLETON)     Now  then;  if  we  fin 
anced  you  to  follow  up  these  people  and  go  after  the 
treasure,  would  you  share  with  us? 

(Warning.) 

CARLETON.  Do  you  mean  that  you'll  go  with 
me  and  help  me  find  the  treasure? 

MARY.    Yes,  we'll  all  of  us  go. 

CARLETON.    And  you'll  finance  the  expedition  -1 

MARY.    Yes. 

CARLETON.    By  Jove,  I'll  do  it ! 

MARY.  Fine ! 
>    JIM.    That's  the  stuff! 

MAC.    But  where'll  we  get  the  money  from? 

MARY.  Granddaddy,  we've  got  one  hundred  dol 
lars  in  the  bank  and  seventy  dollars  in  the  cash 
drawer  from  the  man  who  bought  the  books. 

JIM.    That'll  get  us  up  there. 
'    MAC.     But  how  about  the  business? 

MARY.    We'll  retire  from  it  temporarily.      .-•• 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  # 

JIM.  (Crosses  to  MARY  and  grasps  htr  hands) 
Mary,  that's  a  great  scheme !  (He  holds  her  hands 
until  she  speaks) 

MARY.  (Crosses  to  MAC)  Granddaddy,  there's 
a  certain  person  who  said  I  had  no  imagination. 
We'll  show  him  whether  I  have  or  not.  We've  got 
a  month  in  which  to  move.  This  shop  closes  to- 
night. We'll  give  two  weeks  to  the  search  for 
this  buried  treasure,  and  if  we  don't  find  it  we'll 
come  back  with  nothing  lost  but  a  hundred  and 
seventy  dollars  and  two  weeks'  business. 

CARLETON.    Splendid ! 

JIM.  Oh,  Mac,  we  can't  do  it.  They've  got  tbe 
manuscript  and  chart. 

MARY.  And  did  you  think  I  believed  that  man's 
story?  (To  CARLETON)  They  may  have  the  book, 
hut  I  had  the  good  sense  to  take  out  the  manuscript 
and  the  chart! 

JIM.    Oh,  Mac,  she's  a  little  Scotch  wonder! 

CARLETON.  A  thousand  thanks.  What  shall  we 
do  first? 

(Shades.     Lights  down.) 

JIM.  'Ssh<  Wait  a  minute!  Mary,  light  that 
candle.  (MARY  lights  the  candle  and  places  it  on 
chest)  Carleton,  pull  over  that  trunk.  (CARLE- 
TON  drags  the  chest  to  c.)  Mac,  draw  down  that 
shade.  (He  pulls  down  the  shade  over  the  door, 
while  MAC  draws  down  other  shade.  The  stage 
is  in  darkness  except  for  the  light  cf  the  candle. 
JIM  puts  the  chart  on  -the  chest  and  all  l&seel 
around  it)  Nobody  must  see  this  chart  but  our- 
selves. 

MARY.  (Tracing  words  on  chart)  First  it  say* 
you  "go  to  Swampset." 

JIM.    And  then  we  go  to  the  Bush  farm. 

MAC.    Then  you  come  to  an  apple  orchard 


38  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

CARLETON.    And  then  a  big  rock. 

MARY.    That  must  be  the  rock. 

CARLETON.     "Where  T.  is  buried." 

JIM.  "T'V  That  means  treasure.  "  Where  two 
sailors  were  killed  defending  T." 

ALL.  (In  a  loud  whisper)  "  Where  two  sailors 
were  killed  defending  T." 

Curtain. 
ACT  TWO. 

SCENE: — The  scene  is  laid  at  the  back  of  an  old 
farmhouse  on  Cape  Cod  in  the  midst  of  an 
old  apple  orchard.  This  orchard  is  dug  up 
as  far  back  as  one  can  see:  At  L.  of  the  house 
is  the  stage.  R.  u.  is  an  old  weather  beaten 
shanty.  Below  the  shanty  is  a  rain  barrel.  A 
path  goe$  across  stage  from  R.  u.  to  L.  u. 

DISCOVERED: — As  the  Curtain  rises  JIM  is  vigor- 
ously wielding  a  pick  at  hole  c.,  MARY  is 
digging  'at.  a  hole  up  R.,  MACTAVISH  is  dig- 
ging up  L.  and  CARLETON  is  working  at  a  hole 
downstage  L. 

CARLETON.  (Picks  up  a  handful  of  soil  and  ex- 
arAinef  it)  This  is  very  rich  soil. 

ALL!     'Sssh! 

JIM.    For  the  love  of  Mike,  Carleton,  dig! 

CARLETON.,  (Resentfully)  I  only  stopped  for  a 
moment.  T' think  after  you've  driven  me  for  two 
days  with .  my  extremities  doubled  up  in  the 
earth  I'm  entitled  to  straighten  up  and  get  the 
kinks  out  of  my  back. 

JIM.  ,  It's  all.  your  fault  that  we  have  to  dig 
like  this,  isn't  it?  We've  dug  tip  the  whole  place 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  39 

except  that  one  little  patch  out  there,  and  it's  all 
your  fault.    If  you  hadn't  lost  that  chart 

MAC.  (Up  L.)  Now,  now,  Jim,  don't  begin 
on  that  again.  You  know  Mr.  Carleton  didna'  lose 
the  chart  purposely. 

CARLETON.  I  didn't  lose  the  chart.  I  tell  you 
my  wallet  must  have  been  taken  from  my  pocket 
at  the  barber's.  And  I  had  a  dozen  of  those  fumi- 
gating powders  in  it,  too. 

JIM.    To  hell  with  your  fumigating  powders ! 

MARY.  (Comes  down  R.  c.)  Ji — Granddaddy. 
Will  you  speak  to  Mr.  Anderson? 

JIM.  I  beg  your  pardon,  but  it  gets  my  goat. 
Here  he's  lost  something  worth  ten  millions  of  dol- 
lars and  all  he  thinks  pf  is  his  damn -• 

MARY.     Granddaddy >  '•    "    »woW 

JIM.  His  fumigating  powders!  (To  MARY) 
You  shouldn't  have  left  him  in  charge  of  it  in 
fhe  first  place. 

MARY.  (Crosses  downstage  to  CARLETON)  Mr. 
Carleton,  the  chart  was  yours.  I  though  it  only 
right  that  you  should  have  it.  (Goes  upstage  R.) 

CARLETON.  Well,  I  can't  see  that  the  loss  is  ir- 
reparable. We've  found  the  place.  All  we've  got 
to  !do  is  to  keep  excavating. 

•:  JIM.    We  found  it !    I  hope  you  don't  take  any 
Credit  to  yourself  for  that. 

•'  CARLETON.     Do  you  know  I  don't  believe  this 
orchard  is  the  original  one.     Statistics  show  that 

owing  to  the  action  of  parasitical  fungi 

r*  jfiM.     Oh,  hire  a  hall,  Carleton,  we've  got     to 
work !  . 

CARLETON.  It's  all  very  well  for.ypu,  Anderson', 
Vbu,  can  work  with  enthusiasm^  You  haven't  ha<j 
tne  woman  of  your  heart  turn  against  you.  Miss 
f?fmtt6n\  was  the  kindest,  cleverestr- 


.C.    (In  hole  upstage  i*.)  "Who's  Miss  Fenton? 
JIM.    He  means  his  grandfather's  secretary;  the 


40  CAPTAIN  KJDD,  JR. 

<wie  who  came  into  the  shop  that  day  for  the  books 
(MARY  drops  her  spade.  JIM  picks  it  up  for  her. 
£ARLETON  sighs) 

MARY.  Mr.  Carleton,  I  sympathize  with  you.  i 
1  aow  how  it  feels  when  a  person  you  are  fond  of; 
disappoints  you.  (Look  between  her  and  JIM) 

JIM.  She  hasn't  spoken  to  me  in  over  a  week; 
has  she,  Mac? 

MAC.  (Coming  downstage  c.)  Children,  chil- 
dren, this  diggin'  is  getting  on  your  nerves.  You're 
getting  quarrelsome. 

MARY.  Granddaddy,  I'm  not  getting  quarrelsome, 
it's  Jim.  (Ad  lib  quarrel  between  MARY  and  JIM) 

MAC.    Mary  dear,  will  you  no'  speak  to  the  lad  ? 

MARY.    No ! 

TIM.  Now,  JOB  teel  She's  the  stubborn  on- 
!£>he  won't  give  in.  (Ad  lib  between  the  two') 

MAC.     Children,  children,  your  verses.     (Recto* 
the  fir'st  two  lines,  then  MARY  and  JIM  finish) 
"  The  inner  side  of  every  cloud 
Is  bright  and  shining 
So  let  us  turn  our  clouds  about 
And  always  wear  them  inside  out 
To  show  the  lining." 
(MARY  and  MAC  go  back  to  their  former  places) 

JIM.  You  know  darn  well  she  hasn't  spoken 
to  me,  and  it's  a  rotten  shame.  (To  CARLKTOK) 
What  are  you  looking  at?  Go  on  and  dig!  (Throws 
a  'shovelful  of  earth  at  CARLETON)  We're  getting 
slack,  terribly  slack. 

MARY.  Slack!  I'll  leave  it  to  you,  Granddaddy, 
if  we  don't  do  most  of  the  digging  while  Ji — f 
mean,  Mr.  Anderson,  does  all  the  talking. 
:  JIM.  Well,  I  have  to.  There's  got  to  be  a  leader 
here,  and  I  tell  you  right  now  that  if  you  don't 
follow  my  instructions  our  landlady  is  going  to  get 
wise  to  what  we're  digging  for.  We  can  fool  dbe 
old  man,  but  she's  nobody's  innocent  lamb. 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR  41 

MAC.  It's  late  in  life  for  me  to  learn  to  be  a. 
play  actor,  Jim. 

JIM.  Oh,  I  don't  mean  you,  Mac,  it's  Mary  and 
Carleton.  They  don't  put  any  ginger  into  this  g*eo- 
logy  business. 

CARLETON.  Why,  it  was  I  who  suggested  the 
subterfuge. 

JIM.  Yes,  and  then  you  let  it  flop.  Look  at  the 
words  I've  coined  trying  to  convince  them  I'm  a 
scientist.  Why,  I've  almost  convinced  myself. 

MARY.  (Comes  down  to  R.  of  JIM)  You  know, 
I  don't  think  our  landlady  is — (Catches  herself  and 
crosses  to  R.  of  CARLETON)  I  don't  think  our  land- 
lady is  the  worst  we  have  to  fear.  There's  that 
nosey  constable  always  hanging  around  watching 
us. 

CARLETON.    That's  what  I  say.  What  is  he  watch 
ing  us  for? 

MARY.    Then  there  are  those  men  we  saw  stir 
veying.     What  are  they  doing  here? 

JIM.    I've  got  a  hunch  they've  found  the  chart 

MAC.    (Comes  down  L.)    Do  you  think  so ? 

JIM.     Sure,  Mac. 

MARY.  Granddaddy,  I  think  we  ought  to  boy 
this  place  and  warn  everybody  off. 

MAC.  But  we  have  no  money  to  buy  anything, 
child.  You  know  MacTavish  and  Company  spent 
its  last  dollar  financing  this  wild  expedition. 

JIM.    You  won't  say  that  when  you  get  the  treas 
ure,  Mac. 

MARY.  I  have  the  two  thousand  dollars  toy 
mother  left  me. 

CARLETON.  Yes,  but  they  want  twenty-five  hun- 
dred for  the  place. 

.    MARY.    (To  CARLETON)     I  think  I  could  get  it 
lor  two  thousand  cash. 

MAC.  Now,  Mary,  I've  let  you  children  hate 
your  way  about  comin*  here,  and  a  wild  expedition 


4*  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

ft  is,  but  I'll  no'  stand  by  and  see  you  spend  the 
last  penny  ye  have  in  the  world  on  such  worthless 
Deposition  as  this  farm. 

'MARY.     It's  my  own  money.    My  mother  left  it 
to. me  to  do  exactly  what  I  like  with  it. 

LUELLA.  (Inside  the  hou'se)  For  the  land's 
sake,  Lem,  go  on  outside.  I  don't  want  you  hang- 
ing onto  my  apron  strings  all  day. 

LEM.     (Inside  house)     All  right,  Luelly! 

JIM.  Ssh!  Geologize!  (He  jumps  into  hole, 
picks  up  a  handful  of  earth  and  pretends  to  be  ex- 
amining it) 

MARY.  (Runs  upstage  R,,  jumps  into  hole  and 
picks  up  handful  of  earth)  Granddaddy!  Geolo- 
gize! 

MAC.     (Has  gone  upstage  L.)     Eh? 

MARY.    Geologize! 

MAC.  Oh,  yes !  (All  pick  up  handfuls  of  earth 
and  stand  examining  them  as  LEM  enters  L.  ) 

LEM.  .  (Enters  from  house  and  stands  on  porch) 
Seems  to  me  geologizin's  mighty  wearin'  business. 
Glad  I  wasn't  eddicated  to  it.  (Comes  down  to  L. 
o^JiM)  Found  any  val'able  specimens  yet  ?  (MAC 
crosses  upstage  and  down  R.  to  corn  crib  and  sits) 

JIM.  Good  morning,  my  good  man !  Well,  we've 
found  a  little  stratified  cosmoditious  and  a  few  uni- 
form pefciflages,  but  otherwise  we  haven't  made 
much  progress  here.  We  are  thinking  of  pursuing 
our  investigations  in  the  next  amphibious  section. 
(CARLETON  laughs.  JIM  looks  angrily  at  him,  then 
gathers  up  a  few  stones  as  if  to  throw  them  at  him) 

LEM.  My,  my !  Funny  how  a  feller  kin  live  in 
a  place  all  his  life  and  not  know  what  he's  a  step- 
ping' on.  (Goes  upstage  R.  u.  to  shanty  for  his 
scythe)  I  don't  see  why  you  folks  always  stop 
diggin'  when  I  come  'round.  You  pay  good  for 
the  privileges  and  it  don't  hurt  me  none  to  see  you 

"<•'«"  '       v 

work. 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  4J 

LUELLA.  (Enters  from  house  and  stands  on 
the  porch  with  a  glass  of  wine  and  a  napkin  in  her 
hand)  No,  that's  the  last  thing  ever  hurts  you, 
Lem  Bush,  settin'  round  and  watchin'  other  folks 
work.  You  been  busy  at  it  ever  since  we  was 
married. 

LEM.  What  you  want  to  do,  Luelly,  make  a 
show  of  me  ? 

LUELLA.  A  show  of  you!  Wisht  I  could.  I'd 
set  you  up  on  a  platform  and  label  you  the  laziest 
man  on  earth.  Maybe  that  way  you'd  bring  in 
some  money.  (Comes  down  from  the  porch  and 
crosses  to  MAC  R.  CARLETON  crosses  over  to  MARY 
up  R.)  Here,  Mr.  MacTavish,  I  brought  you  out 
this  glass  of  elderberry  wine.  I  can't  abide  to  see 
you  work  so  hard  in  this  heat. 
.  MAC.  That's  verra  kind,  Mrs.  Bush,  thank  you. 
It  is  warm. 

LUELLA.  Yes,  it  is  humid.  Here,  I'll  take  your 
dirt? 

MAC.  Oh  yes,  thank  you.  (Hands  her  the 
earth  and  takes  the  glass  of  wine.  .  LUELLA  crosses 
to  L.) 

JIM.  Ah,  MacTavish,  it's  a  talkin'  way  ye  have 
wi'  the  ladies.  Nobody  ever  brings  me  coolin' 
drink. 

LUELLA.  Well,  young  man,  I  guess  the  way  yqu 
work  your  tongue  keeps  your  mouth  from  gettin* 
dry.  (MARY  laughs  and  comes  downstage  R.  LEM 
sits  at  grindstone) 

.  MAC.  (Crosses  to  LUELLA  and  hands  her  .tfa 
wine-glass)  Thank  you,:Mrs.  Bush,  that  was  vena 
refreshin'.  (Starts  up  L.) 

LUELLA.    Don't  mention  it.    Here's  your  dirt. 

MAC.    Eh? 

:.  LUELLA.  Your  dirt — your  geology  specimen, 
{Hands  him  the  earth.  Then  wipes  glass  with  nap- 
kin) Old  Mr.  Henry  used  to  like  that  wine,,  too, 


44  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

Mr.  MacTavish.    You  do  remind  me  so  of  him. 

MAC.  Who  was  this  old  Mr.  Henry  ye  speak 
of  so  often?  I've  been  much  interested  in  the 
books  he  left  there  in  the  shanty. 

LUELLA.  Oh,  he  was  just  an  old  gentleman  who 
used  to  come  up  here  to  board  every  summer.  He 
put  up  that  little  shanty  for  himself.  Had  some 
queer  notion  of  sleepin'  with  his  windows  wide  op- 
en, so  of  course  we  couldn't  have  him  in  the  house. 
(LEM  goes  into  corn  crib  with  scythe) 

JIM.    Of  course  not ! 

LUELLA.  He  used  to  go  diggin'  around  jest  like 
you  people. 

ALL.  (Rushing  over  to  LUELLA)  What!  Dig- 
ging around !  What  do  you  mean  ? 

LUELLA.  (Jumps  nervously)  Mercy!  What  do 
you  mean,  hatchin'  me  up  like  that!  You  folks 
has  got  awful  startlin'  ways. 

JIM.  This  fellow,  this  old  man — you  say  he  was 
a  geologist  too? 

LUELLA.  I  don't  know  nothin'  about  that,  but 
I  do  know  that  many  a  night  I  seen  old  Mr.  Henry 
out  with  a  lantern  diggin'  around.  (LEM  enters 
from  corn  crib) 

CARLETON.     Mr.  Henry? 

LEM.  Henry  was  his  first  name.  (All  rush 
over  to  LEM)  He  give  it  us  when  he  first  come 
and  jest  stuck  to  it. 

LUELLA.    Lem,  he  told  you  not  to  tell  that. 

LEM.  Oh,  what's  the  difference ;  poor  old  feller's 
dead  now.  He  was  a  writin'  man  and  was  up  here 
tor  peace  and  quiet.  (To  CARLETON)  I  was  goin' 
to  ask  you  before  if  he  was  any  relation  of  yours. 
Has  the  same  name  as  you — Carleton,  it  was,  Henry 
C.  Carleton. 

MAC.  What,  Henry  C.  Carleton!  These  must 
be  his  books.  Well,  well !  (Goes  into  shanty.  Gets 
mbook  and  sits  in  the  chair  reading) 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  Jk.  4* 

CAKLETON.  Why,  it  must  have  been  my  grand- 
father. He  never  v/ou!d  tell  us  where  he  went  in 
the  summer. 

MARY  and  JIM.    'Sh ! 

LUELLA.  (To  CARLETON)  My  land,  your 
GRANDFATHER!  YOU,  Mr.  Henry's  grand- 
son. (CARLETON  grins)  And  him  so  good  lookin' 
and  sensible!  (LEM  sits  on  sack  down  R.) 

MARY.  (Crossing  over  to  LUELLA)  You  say  he 
used  to  dig  in  this  place,  what  for?  (JiM  and 
CARLETON  follow  MARY  over  L.) 

LUELLA.  Well,  of  course  he  didn't  dig  so  ener- 
getic as  you  folks  do.  Jest  used  to  patter  around 
m  his  favorite  spots. 

JIM.  {Pushing  MARY  aside)  Where?  How? 
What  do  you  mean,  favorite  spots? 

LUELLA.     Oh,  jest  here  and  there. 

LEM.  His  up  and  dyin'  was  an  awful  disap- 
pointment to  us.  He  was  goin'  to  buy  this  farm. 

ALL.     Buy  it! 

LUELLA.  (Jumps  nervously}  My  land,  you 
got  me  so  nervous  I'm  all  of  a  twitter !  Yes,  buy 
it!  He  writ  us  last  year  to  have  the  deed  drawned 
tap  and  we  done  it.  Lem  and  me  signed  the  papers, 
and  there  they  are  now  a  layin'  in  my  sideboard 
drawer  awaitin'  the  hand  that  is  gone  and  the 
roice  that  is  stilled.  (Sniffs  and  wipes  her  nose 
with  the  napkin) 

CARLETON.  (c.)  Well,  if  my  grandfather 
wanted  to  buy  this  place,  that  confirms 

MARY  and  JIM.    'Sh! 

LUELLA.  (Startled)  My  God,  don't  do  that! 
What's  the  matter  with  you  folks! 

JIM.  Nothing,  Mrs.  Bush.  Did  you  say/  he 
wanted  to  buy  this  farm? 

LUELLA.  Ain't  no  doubt  he  did  want  to  buy 
it»  but  I  reckon  that  was  too  good  luck  to  happen 
to  me.  I  guess  Til  have  to  go  drudgin'  along — 


46  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

'(Gives  LEM  a  sour  look) — Draggin'  Lem  after  tree 

till  I  drop  in  my  tracks.     (Starts  for  house)       . 

LEM.     Oh,  women  is  always  lookin'  for  trouble 

LUELLA.  (As  she  goes  up  the  steps)  Ha!  I 
didn't  have  to  look  for  no  trouble.  I  found  mine 
when  I  married  you.  (Exits  into  house  L.) 

JIM.     (Rushes  over  to  LEM,  MARY  and  CARLE 
TON  following)    See  here,  Mr.  Bush,  we  can  make 
it  worth  your  while  if  you  can  show  us  where  old 
Carleton  used  to  dig. 

LEM.  He  done  his  diggin'  mostly  at  night  when 
I  was  asleep,  and  when  I  sleep  I  pay  attention  to 
it.  (MARY  and  JIM  go  upstage  looking  for  holes) 
Come  to  think  of  it,  you  are  some  like  the  old  gentle 
man.  He  drunk  and  washed  in  rain  water,  he  did, 
'fraid  of  ketchin'  things  from  our  well  just  like 
you.  We  had  to  put  up  that  rain  barrel  for  him 
(Points  to  barrel  up  R.) 

CARLETON.    Indeed ! 

JIM.  Mac!  Mary,  come  here !  Carleton!  (Alt 
gather  about  JIM,  down  L.)  Listen!  Old  Mr 
Carleton  used  to  dig  around  here — (They  put  their 
heads  together  and  talk  in  undertones) 

SAM.  (Enters  thru  gate  c.  from  L.  and  comes  tp 
up  c.)  Mornin',  city  folks.  (All  jump  at  the  sound 
of  his  voice,  and  return  to  tfyeir  former  digging 
places.  Business  of  SAM  following  them,  LEM 
rises  as  SAM  enters) 

LEM.  (Up  R.  c.)  My  time,  Constable,  you  here 
again!  (SAM  dears  his  throat,  signalling  LEM  ,ty 
keep  quiet) 

JIM.  Good  morning,  Mr.  Constable.  So  we're 
going  to  have  the  pleasure  of  your  society  again 
today?  (Pretend  to  be  examining  something  he 
picks  out  of  hole) 

SAM.  (L.)  Oh,  I  dunno.  Thought  I'd  jest  have 
a  look  in 

LEM.    Well,  my  land,  three  times  you  been  6\jf 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  tf 

here,  this  week  and  never  a  visit  from  you  all  winter 
before. 

SAM.  Hm!  (Signals  frantically  to  LEM  to  keep 
quiet,  then  comes  down  to  L.  of  JIM)  What  kind  of 
a  jigger  have  you  got  there? 

JIM.  That  isn't  a  jigger,  my  friend.  That's  a 
gazibiator. 

SAM.    What's  a  gazibiator? 

JIM.  Family  of  gazosas.  (Rises,  taking  his 
pick  with  him)  Now,  if  you  kind  people  will  ex- 
cuse us  we'll  retire  to  the  next  strata  and  endeavor 
to  find  the  ding  fiddle  de  hoot  nanny  that  retaliates 
on  his  animal.  Come,  Carleton,  come,  Mary !  (Ex- 
its R.  SAM  stands  eyeing  CARLETON  suspiciously  as 
the  latter  sneaks  off  R.  and  off) 

MARY.    Come,  granddaddy! 

MAC.    Eh? 

MARY.  We'll  need  your  advice  on  this,  Grand- 
daddy.  (Exits  R.) 

MAC.  (Looks  vaguely  around  at  LEM  and  SAM, 
then  picks  up  a  handful  of  earth  and  starts  R.)  Oh, 
yes!  (Exits  R.) 

LEM.  (To  SAM  as  he  comes  down  R.  c.)  I  wisht 
you'd  tell  me  what  you're  a  watchin'  'em  for? 

SAM.    Ain't  heard  the  news,  hev  you? 

LEM.    What  news? 

SAM.  They's  been  a  burglary  over  at  the  Swamp- 
set  Savings  Bank. 

LEM.    No ! 

SAM.     Yep. 

LEM.    Why  ain't  you  on  the  job? 

SAM.    The  authorities  ain't  askin'  their  own  con- 
.  stable  what's  what.    Sent  to  Bostin'  for  detectives, 
they  hev. 

LEM.  Well,  Sam,  I  wouldn't  stand  for  it^Tain't 
fair;  special  after  you  jailin'  them  chicken  thieves 
last  spring. 


48  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

:  SAM.  Yes,  an'  two  drunks  and  disorderlies  thifc 
winter.  But  I  ain't  saying  nothing.  I  guess  I'll 
give  them  Boston  detectives  a  surprise.  (Sneaks 
upc.) 

LEM.     (Crosses  to  L.)     What  you  gonner  do? 

SAM.  (Back  to  LEM)  Lem,  I  hate  to  gin  you 
a  shock,  but  the  burglars  of  the  Swampset  Say- 
ings Bank  is  a  playin':  round  in  your  back  yard 
this  very  minute. 

LEM.    What,  them  geologizers! 

SAM.  Geologizers  nothin !  Lem,  if  my  suspicions 
is  kerrect — an'  they  generally  be — them  people  ain't 
only  thieves,  they's  murderers  and  worse. 

(Ready  horn.) 

LEM.  Look  here,  Sam,  look  here!  You  ain't 
goin'  to  arrest  them  on  my  premises. 

SAM.  There's  two  thousand  dollars  reward  in 
this,  and  if  you  help  me  you  get  ha — ha — a  third. 
Now  there's  nothin'  for  you  to  get  nervous  about. 
Fll  attend  to  the  arrestin'  when  it  comes.  All  I 
want  you  to  do  is  to  keep  your  eyes  open,  'cause  I 
gotter  have  proof.  , 

LEM.     Oh,  you  ain't  got  no  proof. 

SAM.  I  got  circumstantial  evidence,  but  that 
don't  hold  in  law.  What  I  want  is  proof,  ironbound 
proof,  I  don't  want  to  make  no  mistakes.  (Sneaks 
up  R.  looks  off,  then  comes  back  to  LEM) 

LEM.  What  do  y«~u  mean — you  got  circumstan- 
tial evidence? 

,  SAM.  These  here  people  comes  to  Swampset 
three  days  ago  and  afore  they  come  to  you  they 
put  up  at  the  Grand  Hotel. 

LEM.    Yes  ? 

SAM.  Well,  the  gal  and  the  old  man  set  on  the 
porch  of  the  hotel  all  day,  but  the  young  feller  and 


Carleton  jes'  hung  around  the  Post  Office  and  the 
barber  shop  askin'  fool  questions  about  the  property 
hereabouts  and  pretendin'  to  look  up  title  deeds  in 
the  Court  House,  but  what  they  was  really  doin', 
Lem,  was  lookin'  fer  a  hidin'  place. 

LEM.    My  time! 

SAM.  Now  here  comes  the  worst!  Long  about 
noon  the  first  day  Anderson  goes  up  to  the  bank 
bold  as  brass  and  asked  to  be  shown  a  safe  deposit 
vault  and  the  biggest  box  they  had.  He  talked  good 
so  Meecham  took  him  down  and  showed  him.  the 
whole  place,  and  all  Anderson  did  was  to  say  that 
"mebbe  he'd  be  wantin'  a  couple  of  boxes  in  a  day 
or  two.'' 

LEM.  Did  he  calkerlate  to  hide  the  loot  from  the 
bank  in  their  own  vaults? 

SAM.  Can't  ye  see  through  it?  He  didn't  want 
no  box — he  only  wanted  to  git  a  look  around. 

LEM.    I  see! 

SAM.  I  had  a  reason  independent  of  their  queer 
doin's  for  thinkin' — them  folks  was  up  to  something 
criminal.  I  was  waitin'  for  it  and  it  come.  Last 
night  the  burglary  was  did.  (Sneaks  up  R.,  looks 
off,  then  comes  back  to  LEM) 

LEM.  By  Caesar!  (SAM  falls  into  c.  hole)  An- 
derson did  go  to  town  last  night. 

SAM.    Don't  tell  me,  I  seen  him. 

LEM.  He  said  they  lost  something  in  the  barber 
shop  and  he  was  goin'  to  inquire  if  it  had  been 
found. 

SAM.  I  should  say  he  did  lost  something  in  the 
barber  shop,  and  I  found  it.  An'  what  I  found  is 
my  original  reason  for  suspicionin'  'em!  (Goes  uf 
L.  looks  around,  then  comes  back  to  LEM) 

LEM.    What  were  it  ? 

SAM.  This.  (Takes  CARLETON'S  wallet  from  his 
pocket)  That  there  Carleton's  wallet. 


&  CAPTAIN  KIBD,  JR. 

LEM.  My  time,  Sam,  you  didn't  steal  it  off  of 
him! 

SAM.  I  had  a  right.  I  been  readin'  in  the  New 
Ytork  papers  about  Mr.  Burns  tappin'  the  tele- 
phone wires  to  get  evidence,  an'  they  was  actin' 
suspicious  and  I  had  a  right  to  collect  evidence.  His 
coat  was  a  hangin'  over  my  head  in  the  barber  shop 
air'  this  was  a-stickin'  out  so  that  a  little  jiggle 
brought  it  down.  (Opens  the  wallet  and  shows  the 
fumigating  powders)  What  do  you  make  of  this  ? 
Lots  of  little  powders  done  up  in  papers  and  marked 
as  plain  as  day,  "  Poison  " ! 

LEM.     Poison ! 

SAM.  Wait,  there's  worse  to  come.  (Takes 
out  the  chart)  Here's  a  map,  or  something,  and  be 
hanged  if  they  haven't  had  the  impidence  to  keep 
count  of  where  they  buried  their  victims. 

LEM.    Victims! 

SAM.  'Sh!  Look  a  here.  (Reads  from  the 
chart)  "Where  two  sailors  was  killed  defending 
T."  (Looks  cautiously  off  a.)  And  here.  "Where 
T.  is  buried." 

LEM.  T.  My  time,  do  you  suppose  it  could  be 
Thompson  what  disappeared  last  spring? 

SAM.  I  don't  know  who  it  means,  but  they've 
buried  a  feller  and  killed  a  couple  of  sailors,  that's 
enough  to  hang  'em  for  life.  Now,  Lem,  they're 
going  to  bury  that  money  out  there  alongside  their 
victims  and  I  got  to  see  them  doin'  it. 

LEM.     (Runs  up  L.)     Luelly! 

SAM.  (Runs  up  R.  with  horn)  'Sh !  Don't  say 
a  word  to  Luelly  or  she'll  let  out  a  screech  an'  then 
we'll  all  be  murdered.  (Starts  R.)  I'm  going  to  do 
a  little  snoopin'  around.  (Exits  R.  Auto  horn) 

LEM.  (Starts  for  house  L.,  then  as  auto  horn  is 
heard  off  L.  he  runs  up  to  gate,  looks  off,  then  turns 
s.  and  calls)  Sam !  Sam !  Come  back  here.  Sam. 

SAM.     (Enters  R.)     What's  that? 


CAPTAIN  KJDD,  JR.  $1 

LEM.  It's  a  ottymobile.  They's  a  stranger  get- 
tin'  out.  Well,  he  ain't  goin'  to  git  in  here.  {Starts 
for  the  house  L..) 

SAM.  Be  keerful  what  you  say.  Mebbe  he's  one 
of  them  detectives  fellers.  Better  let_me  do  the 
talkin'. 

BRENT.     (Entrs  thru  gate  c.    Grip)    Good  morn 
ing,  gentlemen. 

SAM.    Good  morning. 

BRENT.  (Looks  around  at  the  holes)  Ah,  ha! 
(Comes  down  L.  then  cross  to  R.,  and  finally  goes 
to  c.  hole  and  looks  in.  SAM  moves  to  L.)  Well! 

SAM.  (To  LEM)  Think  it's  a  well.  (Crosses 
to  R.  c.) 

BRENT.  (To  LEM)  I  was  told  that  I  could  get 
board  here.  (SAM  signals  to  LEM  not  to  answer, 
then  drops  down  R.  BRENT  moves  down  to  i~  of 
SAM)  You  take  boarders,  don't  you? 

SAM.  Well,  Luelly  Bush  takes  boarders  some, 
but  I  reckon  her  house  is  full. 

BRENT.    Full  ?    ( Grip  with  B  on  it  BRENT) 

SAM.  (Goes  upstage  R.  and  speaks  to  LEM  who 
is  on  the  porch)  Go  on  in,  Lem,  and  see  if  Luelly 
will  take  him.  (Pantomimes  to  LEM  to  keep  his 
mouth  shut,  then  comes  down  to  L.  of  BRENT,.  LEM 
exits  into  the  house)  Now  look  here  young  feller. 
Let's  get  down  to  business. 

BRENT.     Business? 

.   SAM.     (Jumps  in  front  of  BRENT  to  R.  of  Mm) 
You're  from  Bostin,  ain't  you? 

BRENT.    No,  I'm  from  New  York. 

SAM.  Oh,  I  see!  New  York,  eh?  Well' youVe 
a  follerin'  three  fellers  and  a  gal,  ain't  you? 

BRENT.  How  did  you  know  that?  Well,  I  dpn!t 
mind  admitting  that  I  am. 

SAM.    I  knew  it. 

BRENT.  See  here,  if  I  can't  get  board  here  i 
can  make  it  worth  your  while  to  keep  an  eye  on 


52  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

these  people. 

SAM.  Who,  me?  I'm  on  the  ground  first.  Mis- 
ter, and  I'm  working  for  myself. 

BRENT.  Working  for  yourself?  They  haven't 
told  you — say,  what  do  you  know  about  it  ? 

SAM.  Nobody  has  to  tell  me  nothin'.  I  got  rea- 
sons, I  hev,  an'  I  know  who  you  are,  too.  I  grit  las' 
picture.  Shaved  off  your  moustache,  ain't  you? 
Sunday's  papers  every  livin'  week,  and  I  seen  your 
You  can't  fool  me!  And  I  seen  the  B  on  your 
valise,  too.  I  wasn't  born  yistiddy. 

BRENT.    Say,  who  do  you  think  I  am  ? 

SAM.  I  know  who  you  be!  Your  Detective 
Burns. 

BRENT.    Burns !    Ha,  ha,  ha ! 

SAM.  Yes,  an'  I  know  why  you're  here,  too. 
Guess  you  was  born  yistiddy.  Yer  ain't  heard 
nothin'  about  the  bank  burglary,  hev  you? 

BRENT.    No,  what  burglary? 

LUELLA.     (Enters  from  house,  followed  by  LEM, 
-who  stays  on  porch.  LUELLA  comes  downstairs  L.) 
Oh,  how  do  you  do.     (Sees  SAM)     My  land.  Sam, 
you  out  here  again! 

SAM.  Yes,  Luelly — I — (Puts  his  finger's  to  his 
lips  warning  ly) 

BRENT.     (To  LUELLA)    Is  that  Mrs.  Bush? 

LUELLA.    Yes,  Mrs.  Bush. 

BRENT.  I  was  told  at  the  Grand  Hotel  that  you 
took  boarders. 

LUELLA.  Usually;  but  I  guess  my  house  is  full 
just  now. 

BRENT.  (Lays  grip  R.  of  him)'  Well,  couldn't 
you  accommodate  me  for  a  little  while?  (Turns 
and  see  SAM  pantomiming  to  LUELLA)  Say,  you 
keep  put  of  .this.  (Picks  up  his  bag  and  crosses 
to  LUELLA)"  I  want  to  get  a  room  here.  (LEM 
comes' down  from  porch  and  goes  upstage  L.)  ' 


ss 

LUELLA.  (Crossing  to  SAM,  R.)  I'd  like  to  know 
what  you  got  to  say  about  it,  Sam  Dicken.  If  Tan,- 
ney's  Corners  is  goin'  to  be  a  fashionable  resort,  I 
ain't  got  nothin'  against  it.  (To  BRENT)  I  only 
got  a  little  attic  room  left. 

BRENT.    I'll  look  at  it,  if  I  mayt 

rLuELLA.     Certainly.    Step  right  in. 

BRENT.    What's  the  idea  of  all  this  excavating?  • 

LUELLA.  That's  my  other  boarders.  They're 
Ipinda  scientific  in  their  tastes.  They're  gfeoloerizers. 

BRENT.  Geologizers!  (Laughs)  That's  good! 
Geologizers!  (Laughs  and  exits  into  the  house. 
LufcLLA  follows  him  up  to  the  steps)  , 

LEM.  (Comes  down  stage  L.  laughing)  Well,  I 
don't  blame  him  for  laughing.  It's  the  darndest 
fool  thing  I  ever  heard  of. 

LUELLA.  (On  porch)  Lem,  you  let  them  hens 
out  and  feed  'em. 

;   LEM.     But  I  ain't  had  my  dinner  yet. 
1  LUELLA.    Neither  has  the  hens,  an'  they  lay  eggs 
to  earn  theirs. 

LEM.  (Coming  down  L.  c.)  Sufferin'  Moses! 
Expectin'  me  to  lay  eggs  with  all  my  other  work !  . 

SAM.  (Crosses  to  R.  of  LEM)  Look  here.  Lem, 
we're  up  against  it  .  That  feller  is  a  detective,  a 
New  York  detective.  I  got  to  git  back  to  town 
for  a  body  warrant  and  some  fellers  to  help  HMJ. 
Now,  you  got  to  be  my  depety  in  case  they  try  to 
get  away  while  I'm  gone.  Here,  I'll  leave  you  hare 
the  loan  of  my  badge.  (Takes  off  his  badge  and 
fins  it  on  LEM'S  vest)  I  got  to  swear  you  in.  Hold 
up  your  right  hand.  (LEM  holds  up  his  hand) 
Take  off  your  hat.  (LEM  takes  off  his  hat)  You 
solemnly  swear  to  protect  the  Commonwealth  of 
Massachusetts,  so  help  you  God?  .  , 

LEM.    I  do.  ,'» 

SAM.    So  be  it.    Now,  that  detective  feller  ain't 


&  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

gtlt  no  more  proof  than  me.  He's  come  here  to 
watch  'em— that  you  g6tter  do,  Lem,  is  to  watch 
Kim,  an*  if  he  dasts  lay  a  hand  on  any  one  of  'en\ 
yoia  put  in  a  prior  claim,  see? 

LEM.  I  see.  If  he  tries  to  take  'em,  I'll  take 
'em  first. 

SAM.  You're  some  deputy!  Now.  for  God's 
sake,  don't  lose  the  badge.  And  remember,  if  you 
jest  sit  tight  and  wait  till  I  git  back  you  git  one 
fourth  of  the  reward.  (Exits  thru  gate  and  off 
L.  LEM  sneaks  off  R.  u.) 

(JiM  and  MARY  sneak  on  from  R.     Carrying  pick 

and  spade.) 

JIM.  It's  all  right,  Mary,  they've  gone.  We  can 
get  back  to  work.  Let's  dig.  Remember  what  she 
Said  about  old  Mr.  Carleton  digging  around  here 
in  the  night  with  a  lantern  ?  I'll  bet  you  this  is  the 
spot.  Let's  get  busy.  (Comes  to  c.  MARY /o  R.  c.) 
Where's  Mac  and  Carleton?  (MARY  points  off  R.) 
Oh !  You  were  right  about  that  Constable  watching 
us.  (No  reply  from  MARY)  I  say  you  were  right 
about  the  Constable — he  is  watching  us.  Say,  Mary, 
a1  re  you  going  to  keep  this  up  all  the  time?  (MARY 
nods)  Aren't  you  ever  going  to  speak  to  me  again  ? 
(MARY  shakes  her  head)  Not  even  if  I  apologize? 
(MARY  shakes  her  head)  Listen!  I'm  sorry  I 
kissed  you  that  day  in  the  shop.  I'll  take  it  right 
back  now.  (MARY  throws  a  shovelful  of  earth  in 
the  air  and  gets  some  of  it  in  her  eyes)  What's  the 
matter,  got  something  in  your  eye?  Serves  you 
right  for  not  speaking  to  me.  (MARY  gives  him  a 
'tiny  handkerchief.  He  looks  at  it,  laughs,  gives 
f !'  back  to  her,  takes  out  a  large  bandanna  handker- 
chief from  his  own  pocket  and  starts  to  remove  the 
fat  from  her  eye.  MARY  turns  her  face  up  as  if 
'waiting  to  be  kissed.  JIM  is  so  confused  at  her 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  3fr 

nearness,  that  he  covers  her  mouth  with  a  corner  of 
his  handkerchief,  she  proceeds  to  get  the  speck  o*t 
of  her  eye}  Now  listen,  Mary,  you've  got  to  talk 
to  me  some  dav.  Some  day  I'll  say,  "Will  you 
marry  me ?"  and  you'll  have  to  say  "I  will"  (MARY 
stamps  her  foot)  Well,  you  will.  And,  by  the  way, 
when  we're  married  you're  not  the  one  who's  going 
to  wear  those.  (Points  to  her  knickers)  That's 
MY  job.  Oh,  I  didn't  mean  that.  Aren't  you  ever 
going  to  speak  to  me  again?  Well,  will  you  learn 
this  stuff  if  I  teach  it  to  you  ?  (Deaf  and  dumb  al- 
phabet) Just  think  of  it,  Mary!  Here  we  are- 
rich  at  last — ten  millions  under  our  feet — and  how 
are  we  going  to  enjoy  it  unless  we  speak  to  each 
other?  You  know,  Mary,  there's  lots  of  things  I 
want  to  say  to  you,  but  I  can't  because  I'm  afraid 
of  getting  serious.  You  know  what  I  mean  ?  When 
I  think  of  having  my  novel  taken  and  making 
money  or  ever  getting  ahead,  it's  only  for  one  rea- 
son. (Business.  He  tries  to  kiss  her.  She  shakes 
her  head  and  points  off  L.  and  tries  to  make  him 
look.  He  finally  understands.  Looks  off  L.  and 
see's  GREYSON)  Oh,  the  surveyors!  I'll  bet  they've 
got  our  chart.  Let's  watch  them.  Go  in  that 
house.  Sh!  (They  both  tiptoe  into  house  up  R.) 

GREYSON.  (Enters  c.  from  L.  looks  at  hole c., 
then  goes  to  gate  and  calls)  Come  on,  boys-! 
(Comes  downstage  followed  by  2  surveyors.  One 
stays  up  L.  the  other  comes  down  L.)  Look  here, 
they're  digging  up  the  whole  place.  What  the  devil 
are  they  after?  Well,  what  do  you  know  about 
that,  eh  ?  Now  get  through  here  as  quickly  as  you 
can.  I  don't  want  them  to  see  us  if  we  can  help 
jt.  Remember,  muni's  the  word. 

BROWN.  They  certainly  have  been  tearing  things 
up  around  here.  Look  at  the  size  of  that  hole. 
(Looks  into  hole  down  L.) 

GREYSON.    Well,  if  you  see  anybody  don't  ..ask 


56  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

any  questions  and  don't  answer  any.  Remember, 
we've  got  to  pull  this  thing  off  quietly.  (MARY  and 
JiM  enter  from  house  R.  u.  They  stand  and  motion 
to  CARLETON  and  MAC  off  R.  LEM  enters  from 
down  R.  CARLETON  and  MAC  enter  from  R.  and 
noork  over  to  their  former  digging  place's) 
•  BROWN.  What'll  we  say  if  these  people  want  to 
know  what  we're  surveying  for? 

GREYSON.  You  leave  that  to_me.  That's  the 
reason  I  came  along;  I  can  jolly  them. 

JIM.    (Is  now  down  R.  c.  with  MARY)    Hello! 

GREYSON.    (Turns)    Hello! 

JIM.    What  are  you  fellows  surveying  for  ? 

GREYSON.     (L.  c.)     Oh,  just  exercise. 

JIM.  I  suppose  you  think  you're  the  comic  col- 
umn of  this  town,  don't  you? 

LEM.  (  Down  R.)     Hello,  Mr.  Greyson! 

GREYSON.    Hello,  Bush. 

MARY.  (Over  to  LEM)  Mr.  Bush,  you've  got 
to  tell  these  men  to  get  off  this  place. 

LEM.    Mr,  Greyson,  what  are  you  doin'  here? 

MAC.  (Has  crossed  to  GREEN,  who  is  upstage 
near  L.  hole)  Pardon  me,  my  man,  but  I'm  work- 
in'  here.  This  is  my  hole.  (CARLETON  comts  down 
L.  to  BROWN,  who  turns  and  stares  at  him.  Then 
txits  R.  with  tripodt  followed  by  GREEN.  BROWH 
re-enters  and  stands  over  R.) 

JIM.  (To  LEM)  You've  got  to  put  these  fel- 
lows off.  We've  paid  for  the  privilege  of  digging 
here. 

LEM.  This  is  Mr.  Greyson.  He's  a  mighty  im- 
portant man  round  here. 

JIM.  I  don't  care  who  he  is,  he's  got  to  get  off, 
if  they  won't  go  peacefully  we'll  throw  them  off. 

(BRENT  enters  and  stands  on  porch.) 
MARY.    Yes,  and  I'll  help. 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  S7 

CARLETON.    Dear  me,  a  scuffle!    No,  Anderson! 

MAC.  (Comes  downstage  c.)  Now,  now,  Jim, 
one  moment!  (To  GREYSON)  Would  you  mind 
telling  us,  Mr.  Greyson,  what  you're  surveying  for  ? 

GREYSON.  Well,  my  friend,  you  don't  own  the 
place,  do  you? 

MAC.  No,  but  we've  sort  o'  rented  it  for  a 
time. 

GREYSON.    Hm!    Is  that  right,  Bush? 

:  LEM.    Yep,  they  rented  it. 

JIM.  And  we've  got  a  right  to  know  what  you're 
doing  here. 

MARY.     Indeed  we  have! 

GREYSON.  What  are  you  people  digging  the 
whole  place  up  for? 

JIM.     That's  our  affair. 

MARY.    Yes,  that's  our  affair. 

GREYSON.  Everyone  is  entitled  to  his  own  little 
secret,  eh  ?  Well,  what  we're  doing  is  our  affair. 

BRENT.  (On  porch)  And  what  you're  all  do- 
ing I'm  going  to  make  my  affair. 

JIM.    YOU! 

MARY.     That  man  again! 

GREYSON.    Who  the  devil  are  you? 

MAC.    It's  the  man  who  bought  the  books. 

CARLETON.  (Moves  toward  porch)  What  hare 
you  done  with  Miss  Fenton? 

JIM.    You  can't  stay  on  this  place. 

BRENT.  I  don't  see  how  you'll  prevent  me,  Cap- 
tain Kidd.  I've  just  secured  a  room  here. 

MARY.    Mrs.  Bush  rented  all  her  rooms  to  us. 

GREYSON.  Say,  what  have  you  got  here,  a  lot  of 
lunatics  ? 

J*M.  You'll  soon  find  out  whether  we're  a  bunch 
of  lunatics  or  not.  I'm  on  to  you  and  your  pre- 
t£bded  surveying.  You've  found  our  chart. 


58,  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

MARY.    That's  what  I  think.  .      ,.  .  .  \ 

(MAC  goes  up  c. ) 

BRENT.  Well,  you  stole  the  chart  from  me  in 
the  first  place. 

JIM.     You're  another!     I  bought  it. 

GREYSON.    What  the  devil  are  you  talking  about } 

JIM.  You'll  find  out  what  we're  talking  about — 
(Looks  in  GREYSON'S  pocket  for  the  chart)  and  if 
you  keep  lost  property  you're  no  better  than  a 
thief. 

MARY.     Yes,  that's  right,  you're  a  thief 

MAC.  Children,  childern,  you'll  be  sent  up  for 
libel. 

GREYSON.  (To  JIM)  See  here,  nobody  can  call 
me  a  thief  and  get  away  with  it 

JIM.  All  right,  come,  come  on;  I'm  iust  aching 
to  lick  some  one.  (Goes  for  GREYSON.  MAC  and 
CARLETON  drag  him  over  L.) 

MARY.  Yes,  and  he  can  do  it,  too.  (Pummels 
GREYSON  and  shoves  him  over  R.  BROWN  grabs 
GREYSON  and  pulls  him  away  from  MARY.  Ad 
lib  quarrel  until  MARIAN  enters') 

MARIAN.  (Rushes  on  thru  gate  and  comes  down 
G.  from  L.)  Wait!  Wait!  (Points  to  BRENT) 
Has  that  man  bought  this  place  ?  Has  he  bought  it  ? 

CARLETON.  (Goes  to  L.  of  MARIAN)  Miss-  Fen- 
ton! 

MARIAN.  (Over  to  BRENT)  You  thought  you'd 
given  me  the  slip,  didn't  you?  (Turns  to  CARLE- 
TON)  William,  this  man  is  going  to  buy  this  place 
and  put  you  off.  He  told  me  so.  ::, 

BRENT.  (Down  L.)  So  you've  been  working  for 
him  and  pretending  to  be  my  friend.  ; 

MARIAN.  William,  you  remember  the  man,  who 
came  to  inquire  about  the  books  that  day  Well, 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  <& 

that  is  the  man.    I  saw  at  once  what  he  was  after. 

MARY,  (c.)  Oh,  so  that's  why  you  carafe  to 
the  shop  for  the  books? 

MARIAN.  Yes.  (To  CARLETON)  I  couldn't  wait 
for  you,  William,  and  I've  followed  him  ever  since. 
I've  had  an  awful  time. 

BRENT.  No  worse  than  I  have.  She  stuck  like 
a  burr. 

CARLETON.  (To  MARIAN)  You  went  off  on  a 
journey  with  a  stranger! 

MARIAN.  But,  William,  you  don't  understand. 
('Both  go  upstage  c.) 

MARY.  (To  BRENT)  I'm  going  to  see  Mrs. 
Bush.  She's  got  to  put  you  off  this  place.  Grand- 
daddy,  don't  you  let  anybody  touch  anything  till  I 
get  back.  I'll  settle  this.  (Runs  into  house) 

GREYSON.  (Crosses  to  R.  of  BRENT)  Look  here, 
it  seems  that  we've  butted  into  some  sort  of  a 
family  row.  I  don't  mean  to  be  curious,  but  I 
would  like  to  know  if  the  young  lady  is  right  when 
she  says  you  intend  buying  this  place. 

BRENT.    I  don't  know  that  this  is  your  affair. 

GRAYSON.  Well,  it  is  my  affair,  Boys.  (Ad  lib 
until  SAM  enters) 

SAM.  (Enters  from  c.  followed  by  two  men,  who 
stay  up  R.  SAM  comes  running  down  R.  c.)  See 
here,  what's  going  on  here! 

JIM.  (L.  c. )  You're  going  on !  We've  had  enough 
of  your  spying  around. 

BRENT.  (  Crossing  to  c.)  Look  here,  Anderson, 
I  want  you 

SAM.  No,  you  don't  want  him,  neither.  I  got 
first  call.  Here's  my  badge — (Flips  his  coat  open, 
finds  the  badge  gone,  then  turns  and  throws  LEM'S 
vest  open)  No,  here  it  is.  (Holds  up  a  warrant) 
And  here's  my  warrant.  Mr.  Anderson,  I  arrest 
you  on  suspicion  of  burglarizin'  the  Swampset  Sav- 


60  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

ings  Bank. 

ALL.    WHAT!  .  :; 

BRENT.    Now,  see  here! 

SAM.  (To  BRENT)  And  I  don't  keer  if  you  arc 
Burns,  you  ain't  goin'  to  git  no  reward.  Hands  off ! 
(Blows  a  police  whistle,  the  two  men  come  down  TL) 
He's  my  prisoner.  Fellers,  seize  him.  (The  two 
men  grab  JIM) 

MAC.  (Comes  down  L.  c.)  You  canna  arrest 
our  Jim. 

SAM.    You  keep  out  of  this. 

JIM.  Here,  wait  a  minute,  let's  have  some  rea- 
son in  that.  What  do  you  mean  by  calling  that 
man  Burns? 

SAM.  I  mean  what  I  say.  He's  detective  Burns 
and  he's  come  to  apprehend  you  as  a  thief,  but  I 
got  ahead  of  him. 

CARLETON.  (L.  c.)  He's  no  more  Burns  than  I 
am. 

SAM.  Be  keerful  what  you  say,  young  fellow, 
it'll  be  took  down  and  manufactured  as  evidence 
against  you.  (Crosses  to  CARLETON  and  pulls  out 
the  wallet)  Ever  see  this  before? 

CARLETON.  Why,  that's  my  wallet?  Where  did 
you 

SAM.  You  got  brass  to  own  it — well,  you  kin 
came  along,  too.  (Grabs  CARLETON)  Poisonin' 
and  murder's  jest  as  much  in  my  line  as  a  bank 
robbery. 

CARLETON.  Poison!  Murder!  What  do  you 
mean? 

SAM.    Never  mind  what  I  mean,  you  come  along 

CARLETON.     Where  ? 

SAM.    To  jail,  that's  where. 

CARLETON.     Who,  me?  I!  In  a  dirty  filthy  jail 

SAM.  (Grabs  CARLETON  by  the  collar)  My  but 
you're  getting  fussy,  ain't  you  Well  y°u  kin  come 
along  with  this  feller. 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  & 

MAC.  If  ye  take  our  Jim  you've  got  to  take 
me,  too. 

SAM.    I  don't  believ  you're  in  it,  you're  too  old 

MAC.    Whatever  he's  in,  I'm  in. 

SAM.    What,  murders  and  all  ? 

ALL.    Murders ! 

SAM.  Yes,  murders.  I  got  it  all  down  here  in 
black  and  white.  (Takes  out  chart  and  reads) 
"Where  T.  is  buried.  Where  two  sailors  was  kill- 
ed defendin'  T." 

CARLETON.    Why,  that's  our  chart! 

JIM  and  MARY.     'Sh! 

SAM.    Chart? 

CARLETON.  Yes ;  showing  where  the  buried  trea- 
sure lies. 

ALL.     Buried  treasure!  ,. 

JIM.     Shut  up,  Carleton! 

CARLETON.  (Crossing  to  c.)  If  you  think  I'm 
going  to  be  quiet  and  go  to  any  dirty,  filthy  jail, 
you're  much  mistaken.  There's  ten  millions  of  dol- 
lars here  on  Tanneys  Corners  and  that  chart  tells 
you  where  to  dig  for  it.  (All  spring  for  the  chart, 
which  SAM  holds,  and  in  the  struggle  each  one  gets 
a  piece  of  the  paper) 

ALL.  (Reading  from  their  pieces)  "Apple  or- 
chard— three  paces  to  right — count  ten  steps-r- 
where  T.  is  buried — turn  to  right !" 

JIM.  Here,  here,  you  people,  that's  our  chart. 
(All  scramble  around  for  picks,  talking  ad  lib) 

SAM.  Here  stop  it,  stop  it!  Am  I  constable  or 
am  I  not?  (The  hub  bub  ceases)  Are  you  all  gone 
crazy !  I'll  arrest  the  whole  lot  of  vou  in  a  minute ! 
Stop  it,  I  say!  (Pauses,  with  his  hand  to  his  fore- 
head) Wait  a  minute,  I  got  to  think.  There  used 
to  be  talk  of  pirates  landin'  on  this  coast. 

LEM.    Sure  they  did.    I'm  a  goin'  to  dig. 

ALL.     So  am  I.   (All  scramble  around  stage 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

for  P^ces  to  dig) 

SAM.  Stop  it,  stop  it!  Look  here,  I'm  going  to 
give  you  people  a  chance  to  prove  you're  treasure 
seekers,  and  if  we  find  anything  we  share  equal. 

JIM.     (L.  c.)     Share  nothing !    Not  on  your  life ! 

CARLETON.  (L.)  I'll  agree.  I'm  not  going  to 
lail 

;     GREYSON.    I  think  you're  all  crazy,  but  if  there's 
anything  to  this,  I'm  in  it. 

SAM.    Have  you  got  a  piece  of  the  chart? 

GREYSON.    Sure  thing ! 

SAM.  Then  you're  in  it.  There's  ten  millions 
here. 

JIM.  Yes,  ten  millions.  I'll  tell  you  what  I'll 
do.  I'll  agree  to  Jthare,  in. A-  ding  you  let  me  piece 
the  chart  togethc-  and  do  the  dividing. 

SAM.  All  right,  we  kin  watch  you.  Surrender 
up  your  pieces,  fellers.  {All  bring  their  pieces  to 
SAM)  Now,  Lern,  get  something  to  lay  'em  on. 

LEM.  I  got  »: !  Old  Mr  Henry's  nin  barrell, 
that'll  do.  (All  rush  up  R.  BROWN  rum  to  barrel, 
and  rolls  it  up  c.  back  of  grindstone) 

JIM.  (As  he  rushes  upstage  he  falls  into  half 
up  R.)  Hey,  what's  this  hole!  Gee,  there's  some- 
thing hard  in  there !  I  feel  it !  Wait,  I  swear  there's 
something  there. 

(The  men  take  picks  and  start  digging) 

SAM.    We  share  even. 

JIM.  (As  the  men  dig)  That's  the  stuff,  dig! 
There's  something  there.  A  rope!  Get  hold  of 
it!  Come  on,  everybody!  (Two  men  get  hold  of 
rope  and  pull)  Now  lift!  Again!  It's  coming! 
We've  got  it.  (The  box  is  drawn  up  and  brought 
downstage.  All  fall  on  the  box,  talking  excitedly) 
For  heaven's  sake,  get  up !  Nobody's  going  to  be 
•left  out !  There's  ten  millions  in  there  and  there'-: 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JH.  $3 

enough  for  everybody !  Everyone  will  get  his  share. 
i  L.SM,.  (Sprawling  ov*f  tke  box)  Is  the  treasure 
all  in  money? 

JIM.  No,  jeweled  cups  and  flagons  I  Barrels  and 
Chests  of  gold,!  There,  must  be  other  boxes,  dozens 
of  them  1  (All  jump}  Wait,  let's  open  this  one 
firsj 

MARY.     (Appears  on  porch,  leveling  *,  9«*  ot 
people  on  stage)    Now  then,  everybody  but  Mac 
Tavish  and  Company  clear  off!     I've  just  bought 
this  place.     (LvELLA  follows  MARY  on  and  stands 
4  Of  her) 

ALL.    WHAT! 

MARY.  Everybody  but  MacTavish  and  Company 
clear  off ! 

LUELLA.    Yes,  here's  the  agreement. 

JIM..  It's  too  late,  Mary,  we've  agreed  to  share 
and  share  alike. 

MARY.    Share  what  ? 

JIM.  The  treasure.  Look,  we've  found  it/We've 
found  the  treasure.  (MARY  throws  the  rifle  on  the 
ground  and  jumps  down  to  L.  of  him.  LUELLA  comes 
downstage  L.  GRAYSON  grabs  a  pick.  /IM  gets 
it.  from  him,  after  a  tussle)  Wait  a  minute !  Stand 
back !  We're  all  here,  nobody's  going  to  be  left  out 
I'm  going  to  open  this  box  and  I'm  going  to  take 
out  what's  in  it,  so  stand  back !  (BREAKS  the  lock 
on  the  box.  Two  men  pry  the  cover  loose  and  it  folk 
backward  toward  the  audience) 

Au..    Oh! 

JIM.  Stand  back !  (Takes  a  letter  from  the  bvx) 
It's  a  letter ! 

LEM.  I'll  bet  it's  a  check  for  ten  millions  Q£  dol- 
large. 

LUELLA.  (To  MARY)  An4  I  sold  you  the  farm 
for  two  thousand  dollars ! 

JIM.     (Reading  inscription  on  envelope) 


64  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

Mr.  William  Carleton."      Why,  Carleton,  it's  for 

you.'    '  '   •  :  ;/;::  >*••':••>'•"••  • 

'CARLETON.      (Crosses  And  takes  the  envelope) 
It's  my  grandfather's  handwriting. 
•   JIM:    Open  it  and  read  it 

GARLETON.  (Opens  letter  and  reads)  f<Deaf 
William:  The  Carleton  family  has  been  a  great 
family  from  the  time  its  progenitors  landed  arid 
settled  here  on  Cape  Cod 

LEM.    MY,  was  you   Cape  Codders  ? 

ALL.    Go  on  and  read  it. 

^CARLETON.  "On  Cape  Cod  to  the  present  time, 
when  you,  as  the  last  of  the  family,  should  inherit 
the  estate  now  concentrated  in  New  York,  and  also 
the  treasure  which  you  will  find  buried  here."  : 

ALL.     Yes,  yes,  go  on !  :  • 

CARLETON.  "Now,  you,  my  dear  grandson,  have 
been  a  dreadful  disappointment  to  me,  but  I  hope  to 
renew  in  you  some  strain  of  the  Carleton  blood.  If 
you  have  followed  the  instructions  I  am  sure  you 
have  dug  this  farm  from  end  to  end." 

ALL.    Yes,  yes ! 

CARLETON.  "  I  trust  that  you  will  now  be  better 
fitted  to  enjoy  the  treasure  which  you  have  found 
here — good  health,  fresh  air,  honest  work — which 
is  all  the  treasure  that  lies  buried  in  these  neglected 
fields."  (All  stand  dumbfounded) 

MARY.  (Takes  the  letter  and  reads)  "Good 
health,  fresh  air,  honest  work,  which  is  all  the  trea- 
sure that  lies  buried  in  these  neglected  fields." 

JIM.  Oh,  Mac,  it's  all  my  fault!  I've  made  you 
lose  everything! 

MAC.  Dinna  lose  your  courage,  children.  Re- 
member your  verses*  (Recites) 

"The  inner  side  of  every  cloud 
Is  bright  and  shining." 

JIM  and  MARY.  (With  their  hands  .pressed 
Mjainst  MAC,  his  arms  about  their  shoulders)  ...:• 


CAPf  Alfa     lfc,  JR. 

"I  therefore  turn  the  clouds  about 
And  always  wear  them  inside  out 
'  To  show  die  lining." 

:    : 

Curtain, 

,  ...••••••.         .    ...          i    ...,v    ... 

ACT  III. 


IJEGHTS:  —  Down  —  up  —  at  rise. 


SCENE:—  The  old  bookstore;  a  week  later. 
Music  at  rise 

The  shop  is  closed  and  dark.    The  tables  of 
books  are  covered  with  dust  sheets.    A  hurdy 
gurdy  is  playing  "Home,  Sweet  Home"  oft 
,    stage  as  the  curtain  rises.    , 

A  moment  after  the  Curtain  rises  one  heafs 
a  key  in  the  front  door.  The  door  openst  let- 
ting in  a  brilliant  flood  of  light,  and  disclosing 
MAC,  MARY  and  JIM,  travel-worn  and  di- 
spirited, and  loaded  down  with  luggage.  They 
come  in  silently.  One  feels  the  contrast  be- 
tween their  "down-and-out"  feelings  and  'the 
gay  music  outside. 

(Enter  JIM,  MARY  and  MAC.) 

MAC  goes  wearily  to  R.  of  L.  desk  and  drops 
into  a  chair.  JIM  leaves  his  suitcase  by  c. 
door.  MARY  picks  up  MAC'S  suitcase  and  exits 
into  room  L.  She  re-enters  a  few  moments 
later  without  her  coat  and  hat. 

JIM.     (Runs  up  the  shades  and  is  looking  at-  a 
of  milk  bottles  on  the  coping  outside  the  win- 


$6  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

dow)  You  forgot  to  stop  the  milk.  There's  a 
whole  row  on  the  coping.  (Goes  outside  and  brings 
m  two  bottles.  To  MARY  who  inters  from  room 
L.)  You  forgot  to  stop  the  milk.  (MARY  takes 
the  bottles  from  JIM,  puts  them  on  L.  desk  and 
begins  to  pull  the  coverings  from  table  up  L.  JIM 
stands  uncomfortably  for  a  moment,  then  picks 
up  his  suitcase  and  starts  for  door  c.)  Well,  I 
guess  I'd  better  be  getting  along. 

MARY.  I'll  have  some  coffee  ready  in  a  moment, 
Granddaddy. 

MAC.     She  means  for  you  to  stay,  lad. 

JIM.  (Goes  c.  to  MARY  and  helps  her  fold  one 
y/  the  sheets)  I  know,  Mac,  it's  all  my  fault. 

MAC.  No,  no,  lad!  (MARY  comes  down  to 
MAC.  Takes  off  his  hat  and  helps  him  on  with  his 
house  jacket.') 

JIM.  (Still  holding  the  sheet  awkwardly  in  his 
hands)  If  I'd  listened  to  Mary  I'd  never  have 
bought  the  books  in  the  first  place. 

. 

(MARY  picks  up  the  two  bottles  of  milk  and  exits 
y<v  room  L.) 

MAC.  The  blame's  mine.  I  taught  ye  the  love 
t>f  auctions,  lad. 

JIM.  That's  right,  Mac,  always  blame  yourself. 
I  suppose  there's  no  use  cryin'  about  it,  but  Gee! 
It  makes  me  feel  rotten,  Mac !  (MARY  enters  from 
L.  with  tobacco  jar  and  pipe.  She  puts  the  jar  on 
the  desk  and  hands  MAC  the  pipe) 

MAC.  What,  smoke  in  the  shop,  Mary!  I 
thought  ye  didna  like  it. 

MARY.  There'll  be  no  one  in  the  shop  so  early, 
Granddaddy.  (Then  crosses  and  takes  the  cover 
from  JIM  and  exits  L.) 

MAC.     See  if  there's  anything  in  the  mail  box. 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  6; 

Jim. 

JiW.  (Goes  outside,  takes  a  letter  and  postal 
card  from  the  mail  box,  re-enters  and  brings  them 
down  to  MAC)  A  letter  and  a  postal  card.  (Crosses 
to  R.  as  MARY  enters  from  L.  As  MAC  sits  staring, 
<u  if  i  na  daze)  In  your  hand,  Mac.  (Points  to  the 
mail) 

MAC.  (Reads  the  postal  card)  "Why  pay  rent 
when  you  can  own  your  own  home?  (MARY  goes 
upstage  c.  This  strikes  them  all  as  funny  and  they 
start  laughing,  quietly  at  first,  then  almost  hysteri- 
cally. MAC'S  laugh  die's  abruptly  in  a  groan) 

MARY.  (Runs  down  to  MAC  and  kneels  beside 
him)  Granddaddy,  Granddaddy!  Oh,  my  dearie 
dear,  don't  you  think  I  know  what  it  means  for  you 
10  lose  your  home  after  all  these  years! 

JIM.  (Crossing  to  L.  c.)  And  you  shan't  lose 
it!  This  business  was  beginning  to  pick  up  since 
Mary  came  back — and  I've  still  got  my  job,  havent 
J? 

MAC.  Don't  mind  me,  children.  It  was  funny. 
It  made  me  laugh,  too.  That  card  and — and  our 
home-coming  and  all  that. 

MARY.  Oh,  you're  just  tired  out.  (Rises  and 
goes  up  to  c.  door)  I  must  have  been  mad  to  let 
you  work  so  hard!  And  all  for  nothing. 

MAC.  Well,  it's  good  to  be  back  in  the  old  shop. 
How  long  have  we  now,  Mary,  before 

MARY.  We've  still  two  weeks,  Granddaddy,  10 
took  for  a  new  place — and  move. 

MAC.  It'll  have  to  be  something  smalTand  cheap, 
Mary. 

MARY.    Yes,  very  small — and  very  cheap. 

JIM.  I  know  what's  the  matter  with  us — we 
need  something  to  eat.  (Comes  to  c.) 

MABY,  There  isn't  a  thing  in  the  house,  Grand- 
^taddy.  •• 


JIM.    I'll  hustle  around  and  get  some  chops  and 
things.  >  I'll  be  back  in.a: jiffy.    Oh,  Mary  \~~(Ma 
fans  hereto  door  c.  .feeling  around  in  his  pockets-, 
in  a  low  tone  to  MARY,  as  she  goes  to  him)  •  Mary, 
•got -a  nickel?    (Down  fo  MAC)    .Now,  Mac*  don't 
you  be  down  in  the  mouth.,  "  Everything  will  turn 
out  all  right.    I'll  stop  at  my  place  arid  get  my  rnaii 
jMfaybe  I've  sold  my  novel— or  somebody  may  have 
left  me  .a  million.    You  never  can  tell  what'^  going 
$o  happen.     (Goes  up  to  c.  door) 
-MAC.    A  million!      ... 
JIM.    Remember,  Mac,  every  silver  lining  has  a~r 
(Stalls,  shakes  his  head  sadly  and  exits  c.  toward 

*•) 

,.  MAC.     (Rises  and  goes  up  to  door)    He's  a  gocxj 
lad.    (Closes  the  door  and  comes  down  L.  c.) 
V.MARY,    Yes,  he  is;  and  you're  good,  too.  (Cpmts 
down  to  R.  of  him}    You  never  reproached  me  for 
buying  that  old  farm. 

MAC.     She  wouldn't  take  it  back? 
v  MARY<     No.    You  are  fond  of  me,  aren't  you. 
l^ran^daddy?  -  H 

MAC.  Fond?  Ah,  that's  no'  the  word,  lass.:  ,.< 
'MARY.  I'm  ;af  raid  I've  always  been  a  little  .too 
self-willed.  :  !:-.uii  !  •  ;.  [vaw 

MAC.  It  was  your  money,  lass.  Ye"had  av  rig^it 
,t<>  spen4  it,  (Puts  his, arm  about  her  lovingly)  Afl' 
if  ye've  found  any  little  faults,  in  your  charactejr 
joaaybe  ye  haven't  missed  the  treasure  alter  all.  . . 

MARY.  You  know,  Granddaddy.  I;  .wouldn't  haye 
sluolc,  it ;  :out^-about  no.t  speaking  to  Jim-j^bui  I 
just  couldn't  give  in.  I'm  not  really  stubborn,  b^t 
I  like  to  rhave  my  own  way..  ,  ,  ,  ; 

.  .;•  MAC.  . :  jThat.  makes  most  of:  the  trouble  Jin  /the 
world,  lass,  folks  wantin'  their  own  way.  .  ,. 

..; -MARY.  .... ,  (4fter  a  fause,  she,  throws  kerrrafms 
about  his  neck,  trying  to  cheer  him  up.    He.')iiss.es_ 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  69 

heron  both  cheeks')  Don't  you  mind,  Granddaddy. 
everything  will  turn  oiit.aU  right.  Why  don't  you 
ciqad  your  other  .  letter,  Granddaddy  ?  (Turns*  R. 
takes  cloth  from  chestt  puts  it  up  R.  and  then  conies 
down  to  R.  of  MAC.)  .,-;. ,  v 

MAC.  Oh,  yes !  Perhaps  it's  something  that  will 
cheer -up  us.  (Opens  the  letter  and  reads  it  silently) 
:  ;MARY.  What  is  it?  (MAC  hands  her  the  letter); 
From  Larrabee>  (Reads)  "MacTavish  and  .Com- 
pany, Dear  Sirs: — This  is  to  notify  you  that  .as  1 
have  an  applicant  for  the; shop,  I  must  know  by 
return  mail  if  you  wish  to  renew  the  lease;  at  the 
increased, rent.  I  took  the  liberty  of  showing  ^he 
shop  while  you  were  away."  (Pause)  Granddaddy* 
that  man  had  no  right  to  come  here.  He  gave  us 
a  month  in  which  to  decide.  ;u 

MAC.  Well,  lass,  you  know  we  told  him  ,we 
couldna  pay  the  increased  rent.  I  think  he  had  ,the 
right  to  show  the  old  place.  (Moves  upstage -iL.) 

MARY.  Just  think,  Granddaddy,  with  the.  money 
I  wasted  buying  that  worthless  farm  we  could  naye 
lived  here  forever.  .  r  .'; 

JIM.  (Enters,  c.  and  .comes  downstage  'R.\.C  a 
package  containing  chops  in  one  hand,  and  his  notffll 
in  the  other;  he  closes  .the.  door  and  comes  ciown 
c.)  Chops.  (Hands  the. chops  to.  MARY)  '. 
:  MAC,  (Comes  down  L.  ,9.)  What's  the 
ter  now,  Jim?  :  .  -  -  •  .  .~  . 

•  JiM.     The  landlady's  given  my  roam 
body  else  and  all  my  stuff,  is  dumped  out;  in 

MAC.    WeH,  send  your  things  here,  lad. 
welcome -to  your  old  room^  isn't,  he,  Mar^? 

.MARY.     Remember,  Oranddaddy,  we've 
get  out  Qf  here,  ^(^ran^  JIM  LARRABEE'S 

JIM.    And  here's  my  novel  back  asrauTi.. 
take  the  novel  /row  him,,and{.plac.es \-it ..P% 


CAPTAIJN  &I£>t>, 

Dont  mind,  Jim,  some  of  the  best  nbvtfs 
in  the  World  have  been  rejected  time  And  time  again. 

JIM.  And  that's  not  the  worst!  I've  lofet  my 
Jdfe 

MARY.     Oh! 

MAC.     What? 

JiSi.  Here's  a  prize  packet  I  drew  out  ttf  the 
mail.  (Hands  a  letter  to  MAC  awrf  fwrw.s  R.)  Can't 
even  keep  a  job  as  a  penny-a-liner,  syndicate's  sud- 
denly decided  that  my  stuff  is  too  highbrow  for 
them.  Highbrow!  Hofbrau,  I  eall  it.  {Sinks 
dejectedly  on  chest  R.) 

MAC.  (  Over  to  R.  )  Well,  anyway,  they  appreci- 
ate that  you  do  fine  writin',  lad. 

JIM.  Oh,  yes,  letting  me  down  easy!  I  wouldn't 
care,  but  even  with  that  work,  measly  as  it  was,  I 
cotild  have  helped  you  and  Mary  out,  but  now  when 
you  needing — (Drops  his  head  in  his  hands) 

MAC.  {Consolingly)  It's  lucky  you're  at  liberty. 
I  Always  said  you  should  never  have  left  us.  Why, 
you're  a  grand  salesman.  You  can  talk  anybody 
into  anything. 

JIM.  Yes,  1  talked  you  into  that  treasure  hunt, 
didn't  I? 

MARY.  See  here,  Granddaddy.  <Mxc  goes  to 
her)  I've  been  thinking  that  since  we  have  to 
move  WB  might  get  a  small  place  up  near  Columbia 
College,  part  of  a  shop,  maybe,  and  Jim— Jim  could 
get  out  among  die  students  and  get  them  to— to 
patrbhize  us— {A s  JIM  grvans  and  buries  his  face  in 
his  hands,  MARY  with  a  little  cry  of  pity,  runs  oat 
L  MAC  'crosses  id  JIM) 

JJM.    I  beg  your  pardon,  Mac.    Bat  IVn  aH  fa. 

MAit.    'Of  course  ye  are,  lad,  it's  only  natural. 
Coiric\  come,  fa  all  these  years  I've  never  seen  yolii 
fikfe  this  before. 
1  jra.    Mac,  I  had  a  hunch  they'd  take  my 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  ft 

— and  here  it  is  back  again.    I  tell  you,  it's  no  good 

•  MAC.    Nonsense.    It's  a  fine  work.    Mary  and  I 
know;  we've  been  over  every  line  of  it  with  you. 
It's  a  great  novel,  I  tell  you.     You  mustn't  lose 
heart. 

JIM.  I'm  just  getting  wised  up  to  myself.  I've 
been  taking  life  like  a  picnic.  If  I'd  stayed  oh  the 
job  maybe  I  wouldn't  have  lost  it.  Treasure  seek- 
ing! Letting  Mary  buy  that  place!  A  schoolboy 
would  have  known  better  than  that!  (Rises  and 
goes  up  L.)  Of  all  the  boobs !  I  ought  to  be  kick- 
ed from  here  to  Jericho! 

MAC.  (Following  JIM  over  L.)  We  all  believed 
it,  lad.  It  was  verra  convincing ;  the  book  and  the 
chart  and  old  Carleton's  word  back  of  it. 

•  JIM.     (Comes  down  L.  followed  by  MAC)     Yes, 
it  was  a  fine  dream  while  it  lasted.     (Drops  intp 
chair  R.  of  desk) 

MAC.  (R.  of  JIM)  The  trouble  with  youth,  lad, 
rt*s  always  lookin'  to  the  end  of  the  rainbow  for  the 
pot  of  gold.  When  you're  old  like  me  you'll  recog- 
nize the  only  treasure  worth  seeking.  It's  some- 
thing  that  puts  joy  into  work  and  comfort  into 
sorrow.  A  woman  gives  it  to  every  soul  that's 
boit),  and  it's  an  unhappy  man  that  has  no  woman 
to  share  it  with  him  at  the  end  of  life.  I  mean  love, 
lad,  that's  the  treasure  of  the  world — and  you  have 
•tt.  (As  JIM  looks  up,  MAC  points  into  L.  room) 

JIM.  (Rises,  starts  to  take  MAC'S  hand,  then 
turns  away)  Oh,  gee,  Mac,  don't  get  sentimental 
or  you'll  have  me  bawling  all  over  the  place. 
(Crosses  to  R.)  If  that's  my  treasure,  it  sure  is 
iWied  deep. 

MAC.  It  may  be  buried  deep,  lad,  but,  I'll  tell 
£u  what  HI  do-Ill  go  in  and  see  if  I  can't  dig  it  up 
br  you. 

JIM.    Well,  you  certainly  ought  to  be  aik  expert 


. 

.;j  gxpert?,    Expert?       (Uwghs)       that's 
Yerra,igQpd!  i,  Expert!    That's  verra  gQO&.-  izufeed,! 
>($iar<ts.for  i*..jdoor}     That's  a  verra  good  joke! 
(The  laugh  ends  in  a  sigh  as  he  exits  L.  JIM  cross** 
Wid  throws/  hintfelf,  in  a  cfiairyp  LJ)  ;  ,a'-j    .>.;j; 
^(CAaLjETpN^    (.Enters  c.  dosses  the  door  and  twnu 
t$  JIM  )     Good  rooming,  James. 
vojli^f    Hello!  ;  Where  did  you  drop  from?    \*. 
•,v  CARLE^ON.  ,  ;I  ;  tpok  the  next  train. 
;!jiM.i  ,I,kne\v  you  wouldn't  stay  up  there  alone 
CARLETON.    Oh,  indeed,  positively  I  intend  doing 
150^  but;  one  slight  difficulty  has  arisen.     I  had  no 
-money^  so  I,  came  down  here  to  try  to  negotiate  a 
loan.       ••-,  '•>.;,   .••;;•;       .•  ,. 

,a  JiM.f   And  you  came  straight  to  us.     That's  a 
' 


.  . 

CARLETON.    I  didn't  mean  that.    I'll  explain^  if 
.you  have  a  :mQnient   (5"*^  on  chest  L.  ) 
.,:'  JIM.    What  are  your  symptoms?    (Drops  dow* 


.. 

GARI^ETON.  Well,  I  have  wired  my  grandfathers 
.lawyers  that,  iish^ill  obey  the  spirit  of  the  comniuni- 
.  cation  :ancl  stay  ,  up  :  there  a  year  doing  manual  labor. 
i.  JiH;  And:  then,  you  took  the  next  train  back! 
A&its  .•;*,  of  \  L.:desk) 

.-/..  :GARLETON.    Qnly  f  or  the  day,    I  have  come  to  try 
to  'persuade  -those;  lawyers  to  give  me  an  advance  on 
•the  mpney  I  shall  inherit  next  year. 
!;.!jiM-Here?  iWhy?-  -"i    .....    .       ,  ..,-,  '-,.-:.,•. 

CARLEXOW,  v-Well,  it  has  troubled  me  excessively 
:that:it  was;  thriough  /me:  Miss  Mary  spent  all  .tier 
money  for  that  farm,  and  if  I'm  to  live  up  ther^ 
if  or  a  year  I  think  I  should  pay  herr5ome  slight  rent. 
,:j  JIM,!  {Jumps,  up  and  goes  R.)  Fine  !  .  ^ 
great!  Do  you  think  you  could  do  that?  p  w 
help  a  lot  ifiypuiwpuld,!  .  (Starts  for 


CAPTAIN 

CARIJETQN.  ,.;One  moment!;  There  is  another 
matter  on  wtiich .1,  would  like  to  consult;  you,  pfif 
vately.  ^., .  :/Jl  .  -,  • ;,  ,  •  _ .  t  ... , ...;;  ,..••  .••., 

JIM,    All  right ,     v  ".  •.,          ;  1  ;.  :  ; 

•;  CARLETON.  Did  Miss  Fenton  say  anything  abom 
me  o>m,ing  bac;k  PA  the  train? j  ".  .  .  j 

JIM.    No,  we  didn't  talk  much.          .  o 

CARLETON.  No.  I  suppose  not,  being  depressed. 
You  see,  Anderson,  if  I've  got  to  stay  up  therfe  a 
year  I  think— don't  you  think  that  a  farmer  should 
be  a — sort  of  a  married  person?  ,  ,  :  :  ; 

JIM.  A  f arraer  on  Cape  Cod  ?  He's  entitled  to 
a  harem.  .  .  x  ;.,</;: 

CARLETON.  Qh,  I  shouldn't  fancy  that,  but  I 
should  be  very  grateful  to  you  if  you'd  sound  Miss 
JFentpn  out  about  me.  .,  .  : 

!  JIM.  (Laughs)  You've  given  me  .the  first  laugfa 
I've  had  ;in  weeks.  Why  don't  you  sound  her,  oat 
yourself,  you  poor  boob?  ,. .:  ,:< 

CARLETON.:  She  wouldn't  speak  to  me  when  she 
.fpund;  out  J.  suspected  her  of  wanting  to  get  Uie 
treasure  book  for  mercenary  purposes  .  I  took  ti»e 
h'berty  of  wiring  her  to  meet  me  here  today  also, 

JIM.  Here:!  :Whp  else  is  coming  to  the,  recep- 
tion? -  •:_  v;: 

-CARLETON,  .  That's  alj.  I  thought  you  woul.db't 
mind  telling  ner  that  it  wasr  you  and  Miss  :  Mary 
jyho  put  the.  suspicion  pf  her  in  my  ;mind.  ;(,  :7{ 
.JiM.  (Qver  to  him)  :  Say,  look  here,;CJajletipft, 
yoii'-ye  got  a  glimpse  pjf.  your  grandfather's  schqniui 
but  you  don't  see  the  whole  thing;  ,  .  ..,:..; 

CAiRLE.TqN.   ;  I'm  -willing  to  be  enHgntened.  ?  ;;; 
,  .  JIM.     Your  grandFather.,was  a  pretty. ;rich;,man, 
wasn't  he?  -  v:.':V; 

:.CARI;BTON»  .  Oh,  yes.  ,,  ,"'i 

y  JIM.  .You  :knpw  what  he  said  to  .bimself  when 
fte  cams  tp  make  his  will?  ,  |r  ,, ._.- •••  ...,^3 

1  haven't  the  slightest  idea,    ,  ,,^ro 

'•"'.  .  -    . .       ./v 


74  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

Jilt.  Well,  he  said.  "It's  a  dog-gone  shame  I 
have  to  leave  all  this  cash  to  William.  He  won't 
know  how  to  spend  or  enjoy  it.  It's  rotten  that 
the  good  old  family  of  Carleton  will  have  to  die  out 
because  my  grandson  had  rather  dangle  a  couple  of 
microbes  on  the  end  of  a  test  tube  then  dangle  a 
couple  of  twins  on  his  knees." 

CAKLETON.    Anderson ! 

JIM.  "By  Jimminy!"  the  old  duck  said,  "I'll 
make  him  the  kind  of  a  regular  guy  I  want  him  to 
be  or  he  doesn't  get  the  boodle,  see  ?" 

CARLETON.  My  grandfather  never  used  such 
language  in  his  life. 

JIM.  You  know,  Carleton,  you've  gone  through 
life  in  a  sort  of  a  haze.  You've  always  let  the  other 
fellow  do  the  hard  thing  for  you.  You're  willing 
to  let  those  lawyers  manage  your  fortune  any  way 
they  like.  Just  now  you  even  wanted  me  to  court 
your  sweetheart  for  you.  Wake  up,  Carleton,  and 
get  some  backbone  into  you.  Take  hold!  Begin 
to  live !  (Slaps  him  OH  the  back,  then  kicks  him 
as  he  rises) 

CARLETON.  (Crosses  to  c.)  Don't  you  dare  to 
do  that  to  me  again  as  long  as  you  live! 

JIM.    Are  you  going  to  brace  up  ? 

CARLETON.    Well,  I  feel  dreadfully  determined. 

JIM.    That's  the  stuff! 

MAC.  (Enters  from  L.  followed  by  MARY,  whi 
goes  upstage  L.)  Jim,  your  breakfast  is — {Sees 
CARLETON,  crosses  and  shakes  hands  with  him) 
Why,  Mr.  Carleton ! 

CARLETON.    Good  morning,  Mr.  MacTavish. 

JIM.  Mac,  great  news !  Carleton's  going  to  pay 
Mary  rent  for  the  farm. 

MARY.  (Runs  down  to  CARLETON)  Oh,  Mr. 
Carleton,  how  wonderful !  I'd  rent  it  for  anything. 

CARLETON.  No,  no,  I  shall  make  you  ah  adequate 
payment  if  I  cart  get  the  money  from  my  lawyers. 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  j$ 

MARY  and  MAC.    OH ! 

JiM.  Of  course  he'll  get  it.  His  lawyers  are 
coining  here  to  talk  it  over.  Say,  what  sort  of 
fellows  are  they? 

PVRLETON.  Well,  old  Harvey  is  pretty  stiff.  I 
never  met  the  junior.  He's  the  one  who  will  come 
here  today.  He  may  be  easier  to  handle. 

MARY.    Let  me  talk  to  him. 

JIM.     No,  let  me. 

MAC.    I  think  I  could  put  the  matter  up  to  him— 

MARY.  No,  Granddaddy,  I  think  you'd  better 
keep  out  of  this. 

CARLETON.  Pardon  me,  but  I'm  going  to  arrange 
it  myself. 

JIM.  (Slaps  CARLETON  on  the  back)  That's  the 
stuff! 

BRENT.  (Enters  c.  and  stands  grinning  at  them) 
Well,  well,  well,  the  treasure  seekers !  Good  mprn- 
ing,  everybody.  What's  the  matter  ?  You  all  seem 
surprised  to  see  me.  (Comes  down  c.) 

JiM.  (Goes  R.  and  leans  on  table)  Well,  of  all 
the  nerve ! 

MARY.  (L.  of  BRENT)  Now,  see  here,  Mr. 
Whatever  your  name  is — what  do  you  want  here 
now? 

CARLETON.  (L.  of  MARY)  Look  here,  sir,  I  am 
a  man  of  peace,  but  if  you  don't  get  out  I  shall  be 
obliged  to  eject  you  forcibly. 

BRENT.  (R.  c.)  What!  Why,  I  thought  you 
wanted  to  see  me.  You  wired  me  to  come  here 
this  mprning. 

CARLETON.    I  wired  you!    I  did  not. 

BRENT.    You  wired  my  firm. 

CARLETON.    Your  firm! 

BRENT.  Oh,  I  forgot  to  tell  you  that  I  am  the 
junior  member  of  Harvey,  Wild  and  Company,  yoqr 
grandfather's  lawyers. 

CARLETON.     My  grandfather's  lawyers! 


CAPTAIN  KIDD;  J& 

f:  Yes,  I  am  George  Brent,  the  juiuor 
member  of  the  firm  and  the  executor  at  whose  direc- 
tion,., the  estate  will  be  administered.  Pardon  me, 
inyt&TiL*  (Hands  his  card  to  CARLETON  and  crosses 
id  Kim} 

JIM.     Good  Lord! 

CARLETON.  Yes,  George  Brent,  the  man  my 
grandfather  trusted  so  much! 

BRENT.    The  same. 

•''CAfcLEToN.    Well,  I  -shall  inform  your  firm  df  the 
manner  in  which  you  have  acted. 

BRENT.  Oh,  they  know  all  about  that.  You  see, 
we  were  acting  upon  instructions  left  by  your 
grandfather,  to  make  ;a  search  for  the  treasure  as 
difficult  as  possible — as  difficult  as  possible.  Of 
Course 'you  understand,  Mr.  MacTavish? 

MAC.  No,  I  don't  understand  it  at  all.  (Drops 
in  chair  L.  of  table  L.) 

BRENT.  (Turns  to  JIM,  who  is  on  chest  R.)  I'm 
surprised  at  you  falling  for  it.  You  look  like  a 
smart  young  fellow. 

jiM;  Who  wouldn't  fall  for  it !  Ten  million, 
dollars  ? 

BRENT.  I,  for  my  sins,  was  chosen  as  the  one 
to  urge  you  on.  Good  Lord,  how  you  all  have 
hated  me.  (Laughs) 

JIM.    For  the  love  of  Mike! 

MARY:     Now,  see  here ! 

CARLETON.  You  mean  you  never  believed  hi  the 
treasure ! 

BRENT.  Why,  my  boy,  I  helped  your  grand- 
father cook  up  the  scheme. 

CARLETON,     Well,  I'll  be  damned! 

BRENT.  I  wish  your  grandfather  could  hear 
you  say  that. 

JIM.  And  you  let  us  work  ourselves  to  death  for 
Ida  health!  ' 


CAPTAIN  Klt)t>;  ' 

^  I  couldn't  .help  it,  the  scjieme  ran  away 

with  itself.  I  was  stumped  whe^  I  lountf  'Mr. 
Carleton  had  sold  the  books,  so  J  hurried  here1  ip'&& 
them  back  to  him.  I  didn't  dream  the '  V^hbfe ^lot 
of  you  would  make  such  a  quick  getaway  to  Cape 

&&. 

MARY.    (  Over  to  MAC)    Well,  what  do  yoti  tttirik 

of -'that,  Granddaddy!  ,  .     :.  '  _;'; 

MAC.    I  don't  know,  I'm  sure. 

MARY.  (To  BRENT)  And  you  mean  to  say  yoii 
never  intended  buying  that  farm? 

BRENT.  Why,  no.  I  only  told  that  to'  Mis;s  Fen- 
ton  so  she'd  tell  Carleton.  :  , 

MARY.  (Crosses  to  CARLETON)  Why,  Mr.;  iCaifl!^ 
tbrii  ;  ;  -f-  ,  ••• 

CARLETON.  Miss  Mary,  pardon  trie.  (Cro-sses'ib 
BRENT)  Look  here,  sir,  look  here!  Don't  you 
see  what  you've  done?  They've  spent  all  their 
money.  They've  bought  that  farm. 

BRENT.  Well,  that's  very  unfortunate,  but  I  told 
you  the  scheme  ran  away  with  itself. 

CARLETON.  Miss  Mary,  I  shall  never  for^iv'je 
myself  for  being  the  unwitting  author  of  your  misr 
fortune. 

SAM.  (Enters  and  conies  down  c.)  Well,  J 
guess  you  didn't  expect  to  see  me,  did  jrou? 

BRENT.    My  friend,  the  Constable.    .  .  .,' 

SAM.     ( To  BRENT)     The  fake  detective !  ' 

JIM.     How  on  earth  did  you  find  us? 

MARY.     Where  did  you  come  from? 

SAM.  Got  into  the  big  depot  at  12:13  just  an 
hour  ago,  and  I  just  shot  down  in  the  under-ground. 
Never  saw  nothin'  like  it!  Tried  to  ask  the  con- 
ductor for  Des-des-brosses  street,  an'  'fore  I  covdjci 
get  the  word  out — Pst!  we  was  there. 

MAC.    And  did  you  come  all  the  way  to  see  us!? 

SAM.  Well,  sorter  kinda  to  see  you  and  sx>ftet 
kinda  on  business. 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

MAC.    Get  the  officer  a  chair,  Mary,  he    took* 
prn  out.    (MARY  starts  to  hand  chair  to  SAM) 
CARLETON.    Pardon  me,  Miss  Mary.  (Gets  chair 
*f/>  L.  and  places  it  up  c.  for  SAM) 

SAM.  (As  he  sits)  Well,  I  am  a  little  blowed. 
Always  wanted  to  see  the  Flatiron  Building.  Walk- 
ed there  before  I  took  the  underground.  {Laughs) 
*Twas  worth  it!  There  was  a  high  wind  blowin'. 
,{£11  laugh.  JIM  sits  R.) 

BRENT.  I  suppose  you  came  in  pursuit  of  those 
famous  burglars? 

SAM.  Wa'nt  no  burglars.  President  of  the  bank 
skipped  to  Canady  yistiddy  with  all  the  rest  of 
the  cash.  'Course  I  suspicioned  him  all  along,  but 
nobody 'd  believe  me. 

(MAC  sits  L.) 

JIM.     (On  chest  R.)     You  didn't  get  him,  then? 

SAM.  I  arrested  him  jist  as  he  started  in  his 
uutymobile,  so  I  thought  it  would  be  kinda  slick 
tp  take  him  to  the  lock-up  in  his  own  car.  He  knew 
how  to  run  it  and  I  didn't.  He  got  in  first  and 
asked  me  to  crank  it — but  it  was  a  self  starter.  (All 
laugh) 

CARLETON.    Were  you  hurt? 

SAM.    Well,  it  didn't  do  me  a  durn  bit  of  good, 

MARY.  Oh,  Mr.  Sam !  And  you  thought  we  did 
it  all  the  time. 

I  was  only  playin'  around  with  you  folks. 
Oh,  no,  you  were  not! 

SAM'.  That's  one  reason  I  come  here  to  see  you 
1  know  I  give  you  folks  an  awful  scare  up  there,  so 
I  thought  I'd  do  you  a  favor  to  make  up  for  it.  t 
know,  you  don't  want  that  old  farm  of  Luelly's,  so 
maybe  I'll  take  it  offen  your  hands. 

MARY.    WHAT! 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  79 

JIM.  (Rises,  and  crosses  to  SAM)  Do  you  want 
to  buy  it !  (BRENT  crosses  to,  R.) 

SAM,  Yes,  I  got  a  pretty  good  proposition  to 
make  to  you  folks.  Lemme  see — I'll  gin  you — 111 
$ia  you—  (Thinks)  Nope,  that's  too  much.  I'll 
gin  you  twenty-five  hundred-  One  hundred  dollars 
down  and  ten  dollars  a  month,  for  twenty  years,  till 
it's  paid  for. 

ALL.     Twenty  years! 

SAM,.  I  don't  mind  tellin'  you  that  I'm  thinkin' 
of  gettin'  spliced  and  I  got  to  have  some  place  to 
keep  her  in. 

GREYSOIS,.  (Enter's,  c.  stairs  and  comes  down.  R. 
c.)  Well,  good  morning,  folks. 

ALL.     Good  morning. 

GREYSON.  How  do  you  do,  Mr.  MacTavish 
(Raises  his  hat  to  MARY)  Miss!  (Sees  SAM) 
You  beat  me  to  it,  eh  ?  YPAJ  got  here  before  me. 

JJM.    Is  all  of  Swampset  coming  to  New  York? 

MAC.    Well,  well,  it's  Mr.  Greyson  the  surveyor — 

MARY.  ( To  GREYSON)  What  do  you  want  here  ? 
Do  you  wish  to  buy  some  books  ? 

GREYSON.  No,  that's  a  little  out  of  my  line  this 
mooring.  I've  come  here  on  a  different  kind  of 
business. 

$AM.    I  should  say  he  has! 

GREYSON.  (To  SAM)  Trying  to  put  one  QVCI 
on  me,  eh? 

SAM.    I  got  a  right. 

GREYSON.     Nothing  of  the  kind. 

SAM..    Hev  too ;  it's  a  free  country. 

GREYSON.  (R.  c.)  Now,  look  here,  Dicken,  if 
you,  try  to  spoil  anything  for  me  here  I'll  make  you 
pay  for  it. 

$AM>  Take  keer  t  Take  keer  I  You're  threaten- 
in'  a  officer  of  the  law  I 

GREYSON.  Officer  o,f  the  law!  That  foolish 
stuff !  (A4  W>  quarrel  ivith.  SAM) 


8o  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

?  \ 

JIM.     What's  the  idea? 

GREYSON.  That's  all  right,  young  fellow,  don't 
get  excited.  (To  MAC)  I  beg  your  pardon.  I 
didn't  meant  to  start  a  row  in  your  place,  but  seeing 
this  rube  here  rather  upset  me. 

SAM.     Who's  a  rube? 

MARY.  Why  shouldn't  Mr.  Sam  be  here?  He 
came  on  business. 

GREYSON.  Just  as  I  thought.  I  suppose  he's 
made  you  an  offer  for  the  Bush  Farm  ? 

MARY.     Yes,  he  has. 

CARLETON.  (Comes  down  L.  c.)  But  I  want 
to  rent  it. 

GREYSON.    What  do  you  want  it  for? 

CARLETON.    To  live  on. 

GREYSON.  Well,  I  had  a  proposition  to  make  re- 
garding that  property  which  I  unfortunately  men- 
tioned to  our  friend  here,  old  Sleuth,  and  I  suppose 
he  thought  he'd  get  here  first  and  sting  me. 

SAM.     Well,  business  is  business. 

MAC.  (Crossing  to  GREYSON)  Do  you  want  to 
buy  the  place? 

GREYSON.  I  might,  if  you  don't  put  the  price 
too  high. 

MARY.  Oh,  do  sit  down,  won't  you?  (They 
push  SAM  out  of  the  way,  over  R.  and  seat  GREY- 
SON) 

GREYSON.  (Laughing  at  their  eagerness)  Thanks ! 

JIM.  (R.  of  GREYSON)  Have  a  cigar?  (Feels 
in  his  pocket)  I  haven't  any.  Have  a  cigarette? 

(BRENT  works  across  to  above  GREYSON.) 

GREYSON.  Thanks,  I  don't  smoke.  (Ad  lib  bus- 
iness of  trying  to  get  his  hat,  and  general  fussing 
wer  him)  Well,  I  judge  from  this  cordial  recep- 
tion that  you  folks  are  not  averse  to  selling  that 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  81 , 

farm. 

MARY.     Oh,  if  we  only  could. 

JIM.    What  do  you  want  the  place  for  ? 

GREYSON.     Is  it  necessary  to  state  that? 

SAM.  (Mysteriously)  I  ain't  say  in'  nothin', 
but  I  know  what  he  wants  it  for. 

GRAYSON.     Dickens,  you  keep  out  of  this. 

BRENT.  I  suppose  you  haven't  any  lingering  hope 
that  there  might  be  treasure  up  there? 

GREYSON.  (Laughs)  Do  I  look  like  that  kind 
of  a  fellow?  Now,  folks,  I'll  tell  you  what  I'll  do. 
I'll  give  you  three  thousand  cash  for  that  farm 
right  now. 

MAC.     Well,  that's  verra — 

MARY.     Granddaddy ! 

SAM.     Don't  you  take  it. 

GREYSON.  (To  SAM)  Shut  up!  (To  the  others) 
Well,  what  do  you  say,  folks  ? 

JIM.  Wei1,  if  property  values  are  increasing  up 
there  like  that,  I  think  we  should  hold  on  to  it. 

GREYSON.  It  isn't  worth  a  continental  to  you, 
and  I  just  happen  to  want  it  right  now. 

MARY.  Well,  Mr.  Greyson,  we  might  consider — 
(SAM  signals  to  her;  spreading  out  his  five  fingers, 
indicating  five) — five  thousand  dollars. 

GREYSON.    All  right,  I'll  go  you. 

CARLETON.  One  moment.  Miss  Mary,  I'll  give 
you  six  thr  usand. 

SAM.     Happy  New  Year! 

CARLETON.     And  I'll  pay  you  in  a  year's  time. 

GREYSON.     Seven  thousand  dollars  cash. 

CARLETON.    Eight  thousand. 

GREYSON.     (Angrily)     Nine. 

CARLETON.    Ten  thousand. 

MAC.  No,  no,  Mr.  Carleton,  we  can't  let  you 
do  it. 

MARY.    Granddaddy,  please ! 


82  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

JIM.  (Jumps  over  GREYSON'S  legs  and  rtww  *«' 
MAC)  Mac,  Carleton  will  be  a  millionaire  in  a 
year  and  he  won't  lose  anything  by  it.  Can't  you 
see  it's  valuable? 

SAM.    It's  valuabler  than  you  think. 

(BRENT  starts  R.) 

GREYSON.  (Rises')  Look  here,  folks,  this  yap 
is  giving  you  people  a  wrong  idea.  I  give  you  my 
word  of  honor  that  place,  as  it  stands,  is  of  no 
value  at  all. 

SAM.  (Rises  and  crosses  to  R.  of  GREYSON)  Yes, 
as  it  stands.  And  I  ain't  no  yap. 

BRENT.  Mr.  Carleton,  one  moment.  (Draws 
CARLETON.  aside  R.  They  talk  in  pantomime.  MARY 
J|M  and  MAC  are  talking  excitedly  down  L.) 

SAM.  (To  GREYSON,  in  an  aside)  Do  I  git  a 
commission  if  I  keep  quiet? 

GREYSON.    Go  to  the  devil ! 

BRENT.  (To  CARLETON)  You  don't  have  to 
live  on  that  particular  farm  in  order  to  comply  with 
the  will,  and  I  think  you're  foolish. 

GREYSON.  Of  course,  he's  foolish.  Why,  they're 
giving  property  away  up  there.  People  won't  pay 
taxes  on  it. 

CARLETON.    (Sits  R.)    Dear  me! 

JIM.  (Crosses  to  L.  of  GREYSON.  Well,  look 
here,  that's  not  consistent.  In  one  breath  you  bid 
up  the  place  and  in  the  next  you  say  it's  of  no  value. 
(MARY  goes  to  R.  of  GREYSON) 

GREYSON.  It  is  of  value  to  me  and  I'll  be  frank 
with  you  and  tell  you  why. 

JIM.     (L.  c.)     That's  a  good  idea. 

GREYSON.  You  know  that  factory  five  miles  west 
of  the  Bush  Place? 

JIM.       The  fish  cannery? 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  fcj 

GBEYSON.  Yes.  I  own  that  place  and  I  intend 
building  a  narrow  gauge  road  to  run  from  then 
to  the  shore. 

SAI*.    Now  the  fat's  in  the  fire! 

MARY.  (To  GREYSON)  Oh,  and  you  have  to  go 
through  our  place? 

GREYSON.  Not  necessarily.  There  are  three  other 
possible  ways,  but  thru  your  place  it's  a  little  more 
direct 

SAM.    Hm!    Saves  seven  miles — all  marsh. 

ALL.    OH! 

CARLETON.  (On  chest  R.)  Well,  my  offer  of 
ten  thousand  still  holds  good. 

GREYSON.  You've  got  to  wait  a  year  for  his  off- 
er. I'll  give  you  eleven  thousand  cash  right  now. 

CARLETON.    Twelve  thousand. 

GREYSON.  (Crosses  toward  CARLETON)  See 
here,  young  man,  you're  off  your  head.  (MARY 
moves  over  L,  )  I  tell  you  this  place  is  of  no  value 
at  all. 

JIM.  Yes,  but  think  how  the  railroad  will  im- 
prove things. 

GREYSON.  It's  a  private  road  to  be  used  for 
freight  only.  Now,  look  here.  (To  MAC)  Are 
you  the  head  of  MacTavish  and  Company? 

MAC.     I'm  supposed  to  be. 

GREYSON.     Supposed  to  be! 

MAG.  I'm  MacTavish.  (Points  to  MARY)  This 
ts  the  Company. 

GREYSON.     Well,  who  will  I  do  business  with? 

MARY.    You  may  transact  your  business  with  me. 

JIM.     That's  right,  Mary,  go  ahead  and  talk  to 
him. 
.     GREYSOTT     You  keep  out  of  this,  young  fellow. 

MARY.    Now,  look  here,  Mr.  Greyson,      I  don't 
want  to  seem  grasping.     I  don't  care  about  the 
,  it's  the  principle  of  the  thing.     Now,  if 


84  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

you  save  seven  miles  of  swamp,  that  property 
should  be  worth  at  least — (Sees  BRENT  signalling 
her,  showing  the  figure  on  a  calendar  hanging  on  * 
•wall)  — Eighteen  thousand  dollars  to  you. 

MAC.    But,  Mary — !(SAM  laughs') 

GREYSON.  (Turns  to  SAM)  Now  see  what 
you've  done!  (JiM  crosses  to  MAC) 

SAM.     Well,  what  did  you  call  me  a  yap  for? 

GREYSON.  (To  MARY)  The  price  is  perfectly 
ridiculous.  Do  you  mean  to  say  that's  the  lowest 
figure  you'll  take?  (JiM  jumps  up  on  L.  desk  and 
signals  -frantically  to  MARY  to  accept) 

MARY.  Well — yes.  (Business)  Sit  down  there, 
Mr.  Greyson. 

GREYSON.  Well,  I'll  go  you.  (Takes  out  check 
book)  Eighteen  thousand  for  a  stretch  of  marsh 
and  stone !  (Sits  R.  of  desk  and  starts  to  make  out 
a  check) 

CARLETON.  (As  BRENT  nudges  him)  Nineteen 
thousand. 

GREYSON.  What!  (Rises  and  crosses  to  CAKLB- 
TON)  Young  man,  let  me  tell  you  something.  Ill 
guarantee  to  buy  you  a  hundred  acres  up  there  for 
less  than  half  that  price  if  you  keep  out  of  this  deal 

CARLETON.     You  don't  say  so! 

GREYSON.  (Goes  L.)  Now,  see  here,  folks, 
there's  no  use  in  pretending  to  you  that  I'm  not 
anxious  to  have  that  place,  because  I  am,  but 
there's  a  limit  to  all  things  and  you've  reached  it 
I'm  going  to  make  you  one  more  offer.  It's  posi- 
tively my  last  word  and  I'm  not  bluffing.  Ill  give 
you  twenty — (Turns  and  looks  at  CARLETON,  then 
back  to  others) — twenty-five  thousand  dollars  in 
cash  for  that  farm,  and  not  a  penny  more.  (BRENT 
signals  to  CARLETON  not  to  bid  any  higher) 

JIM.  Carleton?  (CARLETON  shakes  his  head 
Jni  signals  to  MARY  to  accept  the  offer )  •••• 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  85 

MARY.    Well— we'll  take  it. 

GREYSON.  Done!  I  have  an  agreement  of  sale 
all  drawn  up  ready  for  you  to  sign.  (BRENT  crosses 
to  above  L.  desk)  And  I'll  give  you  my  check  right 
now.  (Sits  R.  of  desk  and  makes  out  a  check.  MARY 
and  MAC  go  to  L.  of  desk;  MARY  sits  and  looks 
over  the  agreement  GREYSON  hands  her) 

BRENT.  (To  MARY)  May  I  have  a  look  at 
that? 

MARY.  (As  she  hands  him  the  agreement) 
Certainly,  Mr.  Brent.  (BRENT  takes  it  and  exam- 
ines it) 

SAM.  (To  MARY)  How  about  me?  Don't  I  get 
a  commission  for  puttin'  you  wise? 

MARY.     You  certainly  deserve  it,  MR.  SAM. 

BRENT.  (Hands  the  agreement  to  MARY)  That's 
all  right.  MacTavish  and  Company  will  have  to 
sign  it. 

MARY.    Where  do  we  sign,  Mr.  Brent  ? 

BRENT.     Right  here;  lower  line. 

(MARY  and  MAC  sign  the  paper.) 

SAM.  (c.)  Ten  per  cent  of  twenty-five  thousand 
is — (Tries  to  compute  the  amount  on  his  fingers) 
Well,  whatever  it  is,  it'll  be  welcome. 

GREYSON.  (Hands  the  check  to  MARY)  There's 
your  check. 

MARY.  And  here's  your  agreement.  (Hands  it 
to  him) 

GREYSON.  (Rises)  Well,  you  people  have  stung 
me,  all  right.  You  can  mail  me  the  deed,  Mr. 
Brent.  (Goes  upstage  c.)  I've  got  to  catch  the 
2  :io  train  back.  Good-bye,  folks. 

ALL.    Good-bye. 

MARY.  I  hope  you  are  perfectly  satisfied  with 
your  bargain, 'Mr.  Greyson, 


86  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

GREYSON.  Perfectly  satisfied.  IVe  paid  a  good 
price,  but  I  don't  mind  telling  you  that  it's  worth 
twice  that  much  to  me.  Good-bye.  {Exits  up  the 


ALL,    Good-bye!    (General  hub-bub) 

MARY.  Oh,  Granddaddy,  think  of  it!  Twenty- 
five  thousand  dollars  !  Isn't  it  wonderful  !  (Throws 
her  toriH  about  MAC,  starts  to  embrace  JIM,  catches 
herself,  runs  for  CARLETON  and  bumps  into  SAM) 

SAM.  Hey,  just  a  minute  !  How  about  my  com- 
mission? 

MAC.  Yes,  Mary,  I  think  the  officer  is  entitled 
to  a  -commission. 

MARY.  Certainly,  Granddaddy.  We'll  send  it 
to  you,  Mr.  Sam. 

SAM.  I  hope  there'll  be  no  delay.  Not  such  a 
bad  day's  business.  Well,  I  got  to  get  the  2:10 
too,  or  pay  for  a  night's  lodging.  (Goes  up  c.) 
Anyway,  I  seen  NCAV  York.  So  long,  folks.  (Exit 
c.  All  laugh) 

BRENT.  (Crosses  to  CARLETON)  Come  on, 
Carleton,  the  firm  wants  to  congratulate  you. 

CARLETON.    Well  —  I'm  expecting  a  lady. 

BRENT.    Miss  Fenton? 

CARLETON.    Yes. 

BRENT.  If  she's  coming  I'm  going  to  make  a 
getaway.  Goodbye,  MacTavish  —  (Turns  to  MARY) 
—  Atid  Company.  I  haven't  forgotten  that  you 
trimmed  me  out  of  seventy  dollars.  (To  JIM,  as 
he  goes  up  c.)  Good-bye,  boy.  (Standing  in  door- 
way) Are  we  friends? 

MARY.    Of  course  we  are. 

BRENT.  Good-bye,  everybody.  God  bless  yoti  ! 
(Exits  c.) 

MARY.     (Runs  to  CARLETON)    It's  too  bad,  Mr. 

ALL.    Good-bye  ! 

TTM.     Twenty-five  thousand  dollars  ! 


CAPTAIN  KTDD,  JR.  * 

Carteton,  if  you  wanted  the  place. 

CAJLLETON.  Oh,  I  didn't  want  it.  I'm  going  to 
buy  the  adjoining  property. 

ALL     WHATf 

CASLETON.  Yes,  I  saw  that  he  had  to  have  the 
place,  so  I  thought  I'd  boost  the  price. 

MARY.  Oh,  you  angel!  (Throws  her  arm  about 
kts  neck  and  kisses  him) 

MARIAN.     (Enters  c)     Well! 

CAJULETON.    (Rises,  quickly  and  goes  up  to  MAR 
LAN)     Oh,  Marian,  she  wasn't — I — I  didn't  kiss 
hefi 

MARIAN.  Don't  agitate  yourself,  William.  I 
know  only  too  well  you'd  never  have  the  courage 
to  kisfe  a  girl. 

CASLETON.  Oh,  wouldn't  I!  There!  (jilt 
stamps  his  foot.  As  MARIAN  turns,  CA^LETON 
kisses  her) 

MARIAN.     Oh,  William! 

GARLETON.  How  long  will  it  take  you  to  pack 
your  bag? 

MARIAN.    Why? 

CARLETON.  (Looks  at  his  watch)  Because  in 
thirty-five  minutes  you  will  be  My  wife. 

MARIAN.    But,  William ! 

CARLETON.  William,  hell !  Call  me  Bill!  Come 
on!  (Grabs  her  arm  and  drags  her  Up  the  stairs 
and  off  R.  All  laugh  as  they  exit.  JIM  picks  up 
his  suitcase  and  stands  as  if  ready  id  go) 

MASY.  (Comes  down  to  L.  desk,  waving  the 
rhetk  IB  the  air)  Twenty-five  thousand  dollars! 
We  can  stay  here !  We  can  advertise !  If  we  three 
fan't  make  this  place  go  with  capital ! 

JIM.  Wait  a  minute!  I  know  what  you're  go- 
ing to  say.  I'm  just  as  happy  as  you  people  over 
this,  btit  I  haven't  any  capital  and  I'm  not  going  to 
««ttOt  here  and  live  on  you  And  Mac. 


38  CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR. 

MARY.    (Comes  to  R.  of  desk)    Nonsense!    Mac 
Tavish  and  Company  couldn't  get  on  without  y$tt. 
JIM.    Are  you  talking  to  me? 
MARY.    I  am. 

(  Warning. ) 

JIM.  (Drops  his  bag  and  goes  to  her)  Do  you 
mind  saying  it  again? 

MARY.  MacTavish  and  Company  couldn't  get  on 
without  you. 

JIM.  Mary,  you're  only  sorry  for  me.  I  couldn't 
come  here  and  be  a  drone  to  you  and  Mac. 

MAC.  You're  no  drone,  lad.  (Comes  downstage 
and  starts  L.)  Talk  to  him,  Mary.  Go  on  talking 
to  him.  (Exits  L.  on  tiptoe) 

MARY.    Now,  look  here,  Jim 

JIM.  Now,  look  here,  Mary,  there's  nothing  to 
talk  over.  I  don't  want  to  sell  books.  I  want  to 
write  them.  And  I  will,  too,  I'm  going  to  write 
and  I'm  going  to  succeed  if  I  starve  doing  it.  M 

MARY.     Of  course  you'll  succeed.  > 

JIM.     I'm  going  away  and  I'll  not  come  back'  till 
I  make  good.    And  the  very  first  thing  I  have  ac 
cepted  I'll  come  to  you  and  I'll  tell  you  then  what 
I  can't  tell  you  now. 

MARY.  But,  Jim — \\(Turns  lightly  from  him) 
•  JIM;  And  I'll  make  you  listen  to  me  then.  You 
know,  Mary,  all  this  has  given  me  a  great  idea  for 
a  novel.  (Goes  to  desk  and  gets  manuscript  of 
novel)  This  is  no  good  anyhow ;  I'm  going  to  btirn 
it. 

MARY.  (Takes  the  manuscript  from  him)  Jim, 
you  shan't  do  it.  Granddaddy  and  I  have  gone  Over 
every  word  of  it  and  it's'  beautiful.  •'•  :  • 

JIM.  Yes,  beautiful — (Takes  letter  from  him) 
— but  it  always  comes  back  with  these  "Regretful!* 


CAPTAIN  KIDD,  JR.  89 

declined.''     I'm  so  used  to  these  things  that  I — 
(Sees  the  check}     Mary!    Do  you  s  e  what  I  see! 

MARY.  (Takes  the  check  while  JIM  reads  the 
letter)  It's  a  check ! 

JIM.    They've  taken  it! 

MARY.  Oh,  how  splendid!  But,  Jim,  why  did 
they  send  it  back? 

JIM.  (Looking  over  the  letter)  "Slight  change 
in  the  last  chapter — great  promise — new  style 
(Draws  himself  up  and  speaks  in  a  commanding 
tone)  Come  here ! 

MARY.     (Surprised  at  his  tone)    What? 

JIM.  Come  here!  (MARY  goes  to  him)  Come 
here!  (Sl:e  moves  closer  to  him)  Kiss  me!  (She 
turns  slighily  from  him)  Kiss  me!  I'm  waiting? 

MARY.  Oh,  Jim !  (She  puts  her  arms  about 
his  neck.  Kiss,  embrace, 

Curtain. 
END  OF  THE  PLAY. 


KICK   IN 

Plaj  in  4  acts.     By  Willard  Mack.     7  males,  5  females. 
*  interiors.     Modern  costumes.     Plays  2%  hours. 

"Kick  In"  is  the  latest  of  tfco  very  few  available  mystery 
plays.  Like  "Within  the  Law,"  "Seven  Keys  to  Baldpate," 
'"ttie  Thirteenth  Chair,"  and  "In  the  Next  Room,"  it  is  one 
of  those  thrillers  which  are  accurately  described  as  "not  having 
»  dull  moment  in  it  from  beginning  to  end."  It  is  a  play  with 
»il  the  ingredients  of  popularity,  not  at  all  difficult  to  set  or  to 
aet;  the  plot  carries  it  along,  and  the  situations  are  built  with 
that  skill  and  knowledge  of  the  theatre  for  which  Willard  Mack 
•;*  known.  An  ideal  mystery  melodrama,  for  high  schools  and 
(Royalty,  twenty-five  dollars.)  Price,  75  Cent*. 


TILLY   OF   BLOOMSBURY 

("Happy-Go-Lucky.")  A  comedy  in  3  acts.  By  lata 
Hay.  9  males,  7  females.  2  interior  scenes.  Modern 
iiresS.  Plays  a  full  evening. 

Into  an  aristocratic  family  comes  Tilly,  lovable  and  youthful, 
with  ideas  and  manners  which  greatly  upset  the  circle.  Tilly 
it  so  frankly  honest  that  she  makes  no  secret  of  her  tre- 
mendous affection  for  the  young  son  of  the  family;  *his  brings  her 
mto  many  difficulties.  But  her  troubles  have  a  joyous  end  in 
charmingly  blended  scenes  of  sentiment  and  humor.  This  comedy 
presents  an  opportunity  for  fine  acting,  handsome  stage  setting*, 
•ad  beautiful  costuming.  (Royalty,  twenty-five  dollars.) 

Price,  75  Cents. 


BILLY 

Farce-comedy  in  3  acts.  By  George  Cameron.  10  males, 
5  females.  (A  few  minor  male  parts  can  be  doubled,  mak- 
ing the  east  7  males,  5  females.)  1  exterior.  Costumes, 
modern.  Plays  2%  hours. 

The  action  of  the  play  takes  place  on  the  8.  8.  "Florida," 
hound  for  Havana.  The  story  has  to  do  with  the  disappearance  of 
•  «*t  of  false  teeth,  which  creates  endless  complications  among 
paosengers  and  crew,  and  furnishes  two  and  a  quarter  hours  of 
the  heartiest  laughter.  One  of  the  funniest  comedies  produced  in 
UM  last  dozen  years  on  the  American  stage  is  "Billy"  (some- 
times called  "Billy's  Tombstones"),  in  which  the  late  Sidney 
Brew  achieved  a  hit  in  New  York  and  later  toured  the  country 
times.  (Royalty,  twenty-five  dollars.)  Price,  75  Cent*. 


&UCUBI,  FRENCH,  35  West  45tb  Street,  Wew  York  City 


Comedy  in  a  Prologue,  3  acts,  and  Epilogue.    By  Artlw 
Hiehman.      5   males,    7    fcmaJcs.      2    interiors,    1 
Tostumee,  1876.     Plays  a  full  evening. 


Arthur  Richtnan  has  constructed  his  play  around  tko 
legcud.  Tin.-  playwright  Las  shown  great  wisdom  in  his  choio'. 
of  material,  for  he  has  cleverly  crossed  the  Cinderella  them's 
vfith  n  strain  of  Romeo  and  Juliet.  Mr.  Hichmaa  places  .his 
yopu.if  loves-K  in  the  picturesque  Naw  York  of  forty  year  a  ago 
This  titae  Cii.ii.r«l:»  is  u  BeuicsireKS  ia  the  home  of  a  social 
•  limber,  wh<  ir.riy  have  been  the  first  of  her  kind,  though  w* 
doubt  it.  She  is  interested  sentimentally  ia  the  son  of  thi»  hoaae 
Her  father,  learning  of  her  infatuation  for  the  young  man  without 
learning  ulso  that  it  in  imu^uary  on  the  you.ng  girl's  part,  starts 
oat  to  discover  his  intentions.  Pa  id  *  poor  inventor.  Tha 
mother  of  the  youth,  ambitious  chiefly  for  her  children,  shad 
tier*  at  the  thought  of  marriage  f«r  her  son  with  a  sewing-gift. 
But  the  Prince  ecntrive*  <u  put  tka  slipper  on  the  ri^ht  itootj,  ^n.<l 
the  end  is  happiness.  The  i)lsy  is  qualut  and  agreeable  and  th« 
three  acts  are  rich  in  the  charm  of  love  and  youth.  (Royalty, 
twenty-five  dollars.)  Prica,  75  Q«at«, 


THE  LOTTERY   MAN 

Comedy  in  3  acts,  by  Rida  Johason  Young.  4  maleds 
5  females.  3  easy  interiors.  Costumes,  moderu.  Play. 
2%  tpurs. 

In  "The  Lottery  Man"  Rida  Johnson  Youug  has  seized  ap«i 
a  custom  of  seme  newspapers  to  increase  their  circulation  b; 
clever  schemes.  Mrs.  Young  has  made  the  central  figara  in  her 
fan>ous  comedy  a  newspaper  reporter,  Jack  Wright.  Wright  ovea 
his  cmplpyer  money,  and  he  a(fr<"»<5  to  *nrn  ia  one  of  the  most 
Konr-ution.'il  scoops  the  pnper  hi:s  ever  uuown.  His  idea  is  to 
comlnct  a  lottery,  with  himself  as  the  prize.  The  lottery  is  an 
no-juitd.  Thousands  of  old  maids  buy  coupons.  Meantime  Weigh': 
falls  in  love  with  a  charming  girl.  Naturally  he  fears  that  te 
Bi^jt  Ue  -won  Ly  somooue  LIT  AnJ.  starts  to  get  as  many  ticket-* 
a»  his  limited  uif-uns  will  per:ait.  Finally  the  last  day  is  an- 
Bounced.  The  wiuniug  nuiuhtr  li  133:.,  and  i.^  held  bj[  Lizzie, 
an  old  maid,  in  the  household  of  the  newspaper  owner.  Lizzie 
refuses  to  give  up.  It  is  discovonvl,  however,  that  she  h»4  gtolea 
the  ticket.  With  this  clue,  the  reporter  threatens  her  with  j^nvo;. 
Of  coarse  the  coupon  is  surrendev-ed  and  Wright  gets  thq  girl  of 
his  i-hoice.  Produced  at  the  Bijou  Theater,  New  York, 
success.  (Royalty,  twenty-ova  dollars.)  Pried,  7Jj 


SAMIT2L  FKENCH,  25  West  45th  Street,  New  York 


NOTHING   BUT   THE  TRUTH 

Comedy  in  3  acts.  By  James  Montgomery.  5  males, 
f  females.  Modern  costumes.  2  interiors.  Plays  2%  hours. 

IB  it  possible  to  tell  the  absolute  truth — even  for  twenty-four 
hours?  It  is — at  least  Bob  Bennett,  the  hero  of  "Nothing  but 
the  Truth,"  accomplished  the  feat.  The  bet  he  made  with  his 
partners,  his  friends,  and  his  fiancee — these  are  the  incidents  in 
William  Collier's  tremendous  comedy  hit.  "Nothing:  but  the 
Troth"  can  be  whole-heartedly  recommended  as  one  of  the  most 
uprightly,  amusing  and  popular  comedies  of  which  this  country 
«*»,  boast.  (Royalty,  twenty-five  dollars.)  Price.  75  Cents. 

SEVENTEEN 

A  comedy  of  youth,  in  4  acts.  By  Booth  Tarkington. 
9  males,  6  females.  1  exterior,  2  interior  scenes.  Costumes, 
modern.  Plays  2%  hours. 

It  is  the  tragedy  of  William  Sylvanus  Baxter  that  he  has  ceased 
to  be  sixteen  and  is  not  yet  eighteen.  Baby,  child,  boy,  youth 
»nd  grown-up  are  definite  phenomena.  The  world  knows  them  and 
has  learned  to  put  up  with  them.  Seventeen  is  not  an  age,  it  is  • 
disease.  In  its  turbulent  bosom  the  leavings  of  a  boy  are  at  war 
•with  the  beginnings  of  a  man. 

In  his  heart,  William  Sylvanus  Baxter  knows  all  the  tortures' 
and  delights  of  love ;  he  is  capable  of  any  of  the  heroisms  of  his 
keroic  sex.  But  he  is  still  sent  on  the  most  humiliating  errands 
by  his  mother,  and  depends  upon  his  father  for  the  last  nickel 
«f  spending  money. 

Billy  Bill  fell  in  love  with  Lolo,  the  Baby-Talk  Lady,  a  vapid 
if  amiable  little  flirt.  To  woo  her  in  a  manner  worthy  of  himself 
(and  incidentally  of  her)  he  stole  his  father's  evening  clothes. 
When  his  wooings  became  a  nuisance  to  the  neighborhood,  his 
mother  stole  the  clothes  back,  and  had  them  altered  to  fit  the 
middle-aged  form  of  her  husband,  thereby  keeping  William  at 
home  in  the  evening. 

But  when  it  came  to  the  Baby-Talk  Lady's  good-bye  dance,  not 
•to  be  present  was  unendurable.  How  William  Sylvanus  again 
got  the  dress  suit,  and  how  as  he  was  wearing  it  at  the  party  the 
negro  servant,  Genesis,  disclosed  the  fact  that  the  proud  garment 
•was  in  reality  his  father's,  are  some  of  the  elements  in  this 
charming  comedy  of  youth. 

"Seventeen"  is  a  story  of  youth,  love  and  summer  time.  It  is 
a  work  of  exquisite  human  sympathy  and  delicious  humor.  Pro- 
duced by  Stuart  Walker  at  the  Booth  Theatre,  New  York,  it  en- 
joyed a  run  of  four  years  in  New  York  and  on  the  road.  Strongly 
vecommended  for  High  School  production.  (Royalty,  twenty-five 
dollars.)  Price,  75  Cents. 

SAMUEL  FRENCH,  25  West  45th  Street,  Hew  York  City 


DADDY  LONG-LEGS 

A  charming  comedy  in  4  acts.  By  Jean  Webster.  The 
*oBl  east  calls  for  6  males,  7  females  and  6  orphans,  but 
fee  play,  by  the  easy  doubling  of  some  of  the  characters, 
may  be  played  by  4  males,  4  females  and  3  orphans. 
The  orphans  appear  only  in  the  first  act  and  may  be  played 
by  small  girls  of  any  age.  Four  easy  interior  scenes. 
Oostnmes  modern.  Plays  2%  hours. 

ICany  readers  of  current  fiction  will  recall  Jean  Webster's 
"Daddy  Long- Legs."  Miss  Webster  dramatized  her  story  and  it 
was  presented  at  the  Gaiety  Theatre  in  New  York,  under  Henry 
Miller's  direction,  with  Ruth  Chatterton  in  the  principal  rdle. 
"Daddy  Long-Legs"  tells  the  story  of  Judy,  a  pretty  little 
drudge  in  a  bleak  New  England  orphanage.  One  day,  a  visiting 
trustee  becomes  interested  in  Judy  and  decides  to  give  her  a 
«hanee.  She  does  not  know  the  name  of  her  benefactor,  bat 
simply  calls  him  Daddy  Long-Legs,  and  writes  him  letters  brim- 
ming over  with  fun  and  affection.  From  the  Foundling's  Home 
ithe  goes  to  a  fashionable  college  for  girls  and  there  develops  the 
romance  that  constitutes  much  of  the  play's  charm.  The  New 
Tork  Times  reviewer,  on  the  morning  after  the  Broadway  pro- 
Auction,  wrote  the  following:  "If  you  will  take  your  pencil  and 
write  down,  one  below  the  other,  the  words  delightful,  charming, 
sweet,  beautiful  and  entertaining,  and  then  draw  a  line  and  add 
them  up,  the  answer  will  be  'Daddy  Long-Legs.*  To  that  result 
you  might  even  add  brilliant,  pathetic  and  humorous,  but  the 
answer  even  then  would  be  just  what  it  was  before — the  play 
which  Miss  Jean  Webster  has  made  from  her  book,  'Daddy  Long- 
Legs,'  and  which  was  presented  at  the  Gaiety  last  night.  To 
attempt  to  describe  the  simplicity  and  beauty  of  'Daddy  Long- 
liegs*  would  be  like  attempting  to  describe  the  first  breath  of 
Spring  after  an  exceedingly  tiresome  and  hard  Winter."  "Daddy 
Ixrag-Legs"  enjoyed  a  two-years'  run  in  New  Tork,  and  was  then 
toured  for  over  three  years.  It  is  now  published  in  play  form  for 
th«  first  time.  (Royalty,  twenty-five  dollars.)  Price,  75  Cent*. 

THE  FAMOUS   MRS.   FAIR 

A  comedy  in  4  acts.  By  James  Forbes.  3  males,  10 
females.  2  interiors.  Modern  costumes.  Plays  a  full 
evening. 

An  absorbing  play  of  modern  American  family  life.  "The 
famous  Mrs.  Fair"  is  concerned  with  a  strenuous  lady  who 
returns  from  overseas  to  lecture,  and  consequently  neglects  her 
daughter,  who  is  just  saved  in  time  from  disaster.  Acted  with 
great  success  by  Blanche  Bated  and  Henry  Miller.  (Royalty, 
twenty-five  dollars.)  Price,  75  Cents. 

SAMUEL  FRENCH,  25  West  45th  Street,  Hew  Tork  City 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 

Los  Angeles 
This  book  is  DUE  on  the  last  date  stamped  below. 


:r:n 


JUL  0  J 


UC  SOUTHERN  REGIONAL  LIBRARY  FAC 


By   Leo   Ditriehstein.     7   males,   f   fe- 
males, i   hours.     1  interior. 

"Are   Yo  ;    one   of   tliose    delightful   farces   like 

"Charley's    Aunt"    that    r ;  A    mother    and    a 

daugh  of   the   New  Yo; '  "had   hus- 

bands   who    account    for    absences    from    the    joint    household    on 
nt    evenings,    falsely   pretending    to    be    Masons.      The    men 
do   not   know    each    otlu-r'b    duplicity,    and    ench    tells    his    wife    of 
:   advanced   to   leadership    in    his   lodge.      The    older    \ 

II    pleased   with   her   husband's   supposed   distinction   in 

the  order    :  fin   promise   to   put  up   the   name   of  a 

rship.       Further    perplexity    over    the 

rond  daughter's  hand 

<    i.   ...   To    tell   the    story    of   the   play 

ro   volumes,   its   complications   are   so  numerous.      It   is 

One  card  wrongly  placed  and  the  whole  thing 

But    it    stands,    an    example    of    remarkable    in- 

;i:e    end    of    the    first    act    how    tho    fun 

fh   a    slender   foundation.      But   it   continues 

and    grows    to    the    last    curtain."      One    of    the    most    hilariously 

ng    farces    ever    written,    especially    suited    to    schools    and 

Masonic  Lodges.     (Royalty,  twenty-five  dollars.)       Price,  75  Cents. 


KEMPY 


A  delightful  comedy  in  3  acts.  By  J.  C.  Nugent  and 
Elliott  Nugent.  4  males,  4  females.  1  interior  throughout, 
Costumes,  modern.  Plays  21^  hours. 

•"ernpy"   has  been  such  a  tremendous  hit  in  New 
York,   Chicago — wherever   it  has   played.     It   snaps   with   wit   and 
humor    of    the    most    delightful    kind.     It's    electric.     It's    small- 
ly  pictured.     Full  of  types  of  varied  sorts,  each 
•o    a    turn    and    served    with    zestful    sauce.     An    ideal 
entertainment  for  amusement  purposes.     The  story  is  about  a  high- 
falutin'  daughter  who  in  a  fit  of  pique  marries  the  young  plumber- 
architect,    who    comes    to    fix    the    water    pi;  ise    he 
"un<!                                           :  read  her  book  and  having  sworn   to 
in   that   story  lies  all   the   humor  that 

kept  the  a  d  of  every  act.      Of  course 

there  are  lots  of  ran:i:;  >h  of  which  bears  its  own  brand 

of   laughter-making   }>>.  lio    plot   and    the    story   are 

not    the    main    tl.  :-.<:e,    the    work    of    the 

family  mixup  is  lively  and 
rs.)  Price,  75  Cent?, 


SAMUEL  FRENCH,  zr>  West  45th  Street,  New  York  City 


FRENCH'S 
Standard  Library  Edition 


George   M.    Cohan 
Winchell    Smith 
Booth    Tarkingtun 
William   Gillette 
Frank   Craven 
Owen  Davis 
Austin   Strong 
A.  A.  Milne 
Harriet  Ford 
Paul  Green 
James  Montgomery 
Arthur    Richman 
Philip  Barry 
George   Middleton 
Channing    Pollock 
George   Kaufman 
Martin   Flavin 
Victor  Mapes 
Kate  Douglas  Wiggln 
Rida   Johnson    Young 
Margaret    Mayo 
Roi  Cooper  Megrae 
Jean  Webster 
George    Broadhurst 
George  Hobart 
Frederick  S.    Ishara 
Fred    Ballard 
Percy   MacKaye 
Willard   Mack 
Jerome  K.  Jerome 
R.  C.  Carton 
William  Cary   Duncan 
Sir  Arthur  Conan  Doyle 


Includes  Play.*, 

Augustus    lltumas 
Rachel   Crutlier.s 
W.   W.   Jacobs 
Ernest   Denny 
Kenyon   Nii-hoisu:i 
Aaron 

H.   V.   EsaionJ 
Edgar  Seiwyn 
Laurence   Housnvm 
Israel   Zangwill 
Walter  Hackett 
A.   E.  Thomas 
Edna   Ferber 
John   Henry   Aiears 
Mark  Swan 
John   B.   Stapleton 
Frederick    Lonsdale 
Bryou   Ongley 
Rex    Beach 
Paul  Armstrong 
H.    A.    Du   Souchet 

Ai!e 

J.   Hartley   Manners 
Barry    Conner* 
Edith   i:il,i 
Harold    Brighouse 
Harvey     J.     O'Higgins 
Clare   Kumtncr 
James  Forbes 
William    C.    DeMi!!e 
'1  hoinp.?on    Buchanan 
C.    Haddon    Chamfers 
Richard  Harding  Davis 


Louis   N.    Parker 
Ai.thony    Hope 
Lewis   Beach 

Rose 

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ling 

itch 
Derr    Biggcr:i 

.irst 
Cha:  . 

miss 

Martha  M.»rton 
Robei  t  iiousum 
Carlu 

'•.stein 
s  Smith 

ottS 
;•  nan 
Clavtuii    Hi.i: 

Uiony 

Julie   Lippman 
Paul    Dickey 
frank  Bacon 

a  Paulton 
.•\delaide  AUittl: 
A.  li.  W. 


Catherine   Chisholm   Cushing     J.    C.  and    Elliott 
Edward    Childs    Carpenter          Justin    Huntiey    McCar 
Madeline   Lucette   Ryley  hine  Prcat. 

French's    International    Copyrighted    Edition    contains    ph  _ 
and  farces  of  international  reputation;  also  recent  profession. 
by    famous    American    and    English    Authors. 

Our  New  Descriptive  Catalogue  Sent  Free  on  Request 


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